Tag Archives: censorship

  Also 'Grapes Of Wrath' Too Dusty

Rich Texas Parents: Reading Ayn Rand In School Will Fix All The Poverty

You can't go wrong with the classics
Oh, Texas. This is so very you: A book about poverty is again being challenged in Highland Park ISD, one of the wealthiest school districts in the state. Seems that some parents are worried that The Working Poor: Invisible in America, by David K. Shipler, is too “sexually explicit” for 11th graders in an advanced placement class that’s meant to be the equivalent of a college course. Also, the complaint says, the book would be better suited to a political science or sociology class. Worst of all, it’s about poor people struggling to make ends meet in America, and no teenager needs to be exposed to such communist lies. (We’re extrapolating that last bit). Read more on Rich Texas Parents: Reading Ayn Rand In School Will Fix All The Poverty…
  pieholes are for shutting

Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Obamas Allow Girls To Listen To Beyonce, Who Is A Prostitute

Huck must have needed a whole bottle of his heart pills when this popped up on screen.
Mike Huckabee, a man so unpleasant that dogs will commit suicide to avoid being dragged home to meet him, has been looking for a way he can distinguish himself as this election cycle’s go-to moral scold. Not content to call a black entertainer a pimp for letting his singer wife dance around on a stage like a common tart, he has now gone after two of the singer’s fans by questioning their parents’ judgment for letting them listen to her music. Oh, and those fans happen to be Malia and Sasha Obama. Damn kids, always listening to that Negro jazz and swinging their hips around like horny sex monsters and such! Read more on Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Obamas Allow Girls To Listen To Beyonce, Who Is A Prostitute…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors

Sudo bring me a muffin.
It’s time for another Derp Roundup, the occasional feature where we pressure-wash all the crud off our open browser tabs and bring you some stories that didn’t quite merit their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. Please administer brain bleach with caution. Read more on Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors…
  The First Amendment Will Be In its Bunk

British Nanny State In Spot Of Bother At Freak Mustachio-Ride Skinflick Demises

Didn't they send all the Puritans over here?
British porn fans are about to see some changes in the material available for their wanking pleasure — or at least in the domestically produced stuff. Last year, the Conservative government banned rape porn — not in-real-life rape, which is of course evil and already illegal, but the pretend fantasy kind, involving well-paid consenting actors, which some people are into, we have been told. Now, under the guise of making porn safer for those involved in the business, the government arbitrarily banned a whole slew of sex acts (and this is where we probably should remind you that this article will name some of them, but not include any illustrations, so depending on where you W, what follows may be NSF that place). Read more on British Nanny State In Spot Of Bother At Freak Mustachio-Ride Skinflick Demises…
  The Master's A Tool

Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured

Remember how the Teaheads in Chandler Gilbert (Dok’s geographic aphasia strikes again), Arizona, are on the cusp of murdering some biology textbooks because the books say that abortion is a thing that exists? Well, it’s time for a big ol’ “Both Sides Do It!” jamboree, because in Brookline, Massachusetts, some parents are simply livid about a passage in a 5th-grade American History text that says — and we hope you are sitting down — that not every slave back in slavery times was horribly mistreated. A local teevee report explains that after parents complained to the local school board, the district announced the book, published in 2001, would be phased out at the end of the year; in the meantime, according to a letter sent to parents, it will not be used in history classes, but rather, the passage will be used to “question the authority of a published book.” Read more on Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured…
  All This Fuss Over A Few Clumps Of Words

Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board

Grab yer razor blades and white-out!
So here’s one more bit of Election Nice Time: turns out that even in hyper-conservative Gilbert, Arizona, a bedroom community to the Phoenix metro horrorplex, it is in fact possible for a conservative school board to go to far. And it looks like the Gilbert School Board’s decision last week to razor out a page from an Honors Biology textbook in the high school — because it mentions the abortion pill — is what counts as too far: the good people of Gilbert elected two new members and reelected an anti-censorship member, replacing the Tea Party-leaning majority on the board with a new majority that is firmly against slicing out a page from a biology textbook out of fear that high schoolers will learn that abortion exists. There were other tensions between the board and the community, too, but the textbook censorship seems to have been the last straw. Read more on Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board…
  Just Cut It Out Like...Like Something That Is Unlike An abortion

Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook

Fine, whatever, this is Shreveport, Loiusiana, not Gilbert. Fine
Rest easy, innocent children of Gilbert, Arizona: You won’t have to worry about being corrupted by your biology textbooks anymore! The Gilbert School Board voted Tuesday to remove a page from the high school’s honors biology textbook, because they were worried it might be in violation of an Arizona law requiring that all instructional materials promote “childbirth or adoption” instead of abortion. Read more on Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook…
  wonkette world o' books

It’s Banned Books Week. Go Read Something Subversive!

Seems fitting for weekend of the Values Voters summit...
Can you believe that Banned Books Week is almost over? But you don’t have to fear — people are always trying to ban something, somewhere, so you can still enjoy a banned book at your leisure. Here’s a shopping list from the American Library Association’s list of the 10 most banned or challenged books of 2013 — and if you buy using the links here, a chunk o’ the purchase price goes to support Yr Wonkette! Read more on It’s Banned Books Week. Go Read Something Subversive!…
  Can't Kids Just Read Something Nice Like The Slaughter Of The Canaanites?

Texas Ministers Will Protect Teens From Demonic ‘Reading’ Habit

Where's Bruce Campbell when you need him?
You may have been wondering what we’re going to do with ourselves now that the hullabaloo over Michael Brown’s killing is completely over. Fortunately, there are other good people struggling for the rights of the oppressed, like a group of Texas pastors who are petitioning the Cleveland, Texas, City Council to remove about 75 books from the public library because they will make your children do black magic and date vampires. The petition drive is being headed by one Rev. Phillip Missick, pastor of King of Saints Tabernacle, who testified at a City Council meeting: Read more on Texas Ministers Will Protect Teens From Demonic ‘Reading’ Habit…
  push the pram a lot

PA High School Principal Cancels ‘Spamalot’ After Gay Wedding Turns Him Into A Newt

Moral scolds in South Williamsport, Pennsylvania, have triumphed over the linked evils of the Homosexual Agenda and Musical Theater, cancelling a student production of Monty Python’s Spamalot that had been planned for Spring 2015. Parents complained that the play’s material — based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail — was inappropriate for students at the combined junior-senior high school because it included a same-sex wedding scene, but if any comedy is more purely adolescent than that of Monty Python, we don’t want to know what it is. Read more on PA High School Principal Cancels ‘Spamalot’ After Gay Wedding Turns Him Into A Newt…
  the violence inherent in the system

What Is Free Speech Even Coming To When Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Can’t Say The N-Word On The Radio?

Former Illinois congresscritter and forever deadbeat dad Joe Walsh was sent home early from his job as a wingnut talk radio host Thursday, because obviously the management of the radio station has no idea how Free Speach* works. See, all he was doing was making a commentary about the controversy over the Washington Redskins’ team name, and to make his point it was very important to him that he actually say other offensive terms on the air, for demonstration purposes. For some reason, his socialist employers at Chicago station WIND-AM didn’t understand the simple logic of this, and yanked him off the air. Happily for the world, he live-tweeted his unfolding beatdown by the forces of oppression. Read more on What Is Free Speech Even Coming To When Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Can’t Say The N-Word On The Radio?…
  stop sensoring me!

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Let A Wingnut Explain Free Speach To You Leftists

Here’s a heck of a thing: our comments queue overfloweth! We have been blessed with any number of very important comments from very serious people who are going to set us straight on a few things. For instance, there’s “fedupw_libs,” who took issue with our recent piece about how HGTV sent the anti-gay Benham brothers straight (ha!) to the FEMA camp and wouldn’t give them the reality show that Abraham Lincoln promised them in the Constitution. Fedupw_libs wants us to know we don’t know the first thing about Liberty or Free Speach, and even quoted our own words back at us to prove that we’re big old hypocrites, because of gay wedding cakes, probably: “Because they are a totally private business and not the fucking US government, they then made a business decision” So following this thought process and the whole “gays watch HGTV”, a person running a bakery can refuse service to a gay couple because they’re service demographic is straight evangelical couples? Free speach is free speach dumb ass. Your intolerance of someone’s right to speak what they believe (they never refused someone based on their sexual orientation) is amazing. It’s only acceptable free speach when it fits your narrative. You are the opitomy of a dumb ass. We guess we are the opitomy of a dumb ass, because we make this silly distinction between speach and action — err, axion, we guess. Which is to say, discrimination against a class of customers is actually not speech, because selling stuff to the public is not the same as saying stuff. Is that really so difficult? Also, too, we are definitely going to have to look into getting some “You are the opitomy of a dumb ass” coffee mugs in the Wonket store. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Let A Wingnut Explain Free Speach To You Leftists…
  letter from moscow

Hello! It Is I, Vladimir Putin, Come To Talk At You Of Freedom Of Internet!

Greetings, diseased offal of Western capitalism! It is I, Vladimir Putin, here again to make the speaking to your Wonkette! Is most grateful privilege that I speak at you about most important news in Russia this week. More important than invasion of Ukraine, even! And is not invasion. We were invited. Yes, this is true! Many Russians in Ukraine have much fear and Ukraine government make much trouble, so they ask mighty Russian troops for help. We will stay just until Russian people feel safe. Then leave. Pinky swear! But is not what we talk about today, yes? Today I speak with you about important subject of bloggers and news and Internet, which everyone knows is CIA mind control device for you to Gogol – excuse please, Google – ex-girlfriends, to make sure Rhonda and Haley and Ashley as miserably alone as you. Also for you to say things about Vladimir Putin. Mean things. Why Americans hurt Vladimir’s feelings when he treats you well? Vladimir has not even invaded your country. Your Alaska is too cold and populated by potato-brained opezdols. He does not want your Alaska. You may keep! Is yours! Vladimir can do nothing about mean things you say in America. But in Russia, is no problem to crush bloggers, much like Stalin once crushed peasants protesting Five Year Plans. Is no place in Russia for your Reddit or your Facebook or your Buzzfeed. Which brings point: why is Buzzfeed? “Ten Times Angelina Jolie Made Us Wish We Were Brad Pitt”? I will tell your President Obama, I know why Americans soft like baby seal while Russians hard, like baby seal trained by Spetsnaz. Which is why Vladimir signed new law this week to make Internet much more nice place. Now any web-site that has 3000 visitors must only print accurate information. What is accurate? Whatever Vladimir says! Or FSB will shoot you. Ha ha, I kid. FSB will imprison and torture you first. Read more on Hello! It Is I, Vladimir Putin, Come To Talk At You Of Freedom Of Internet!…
  censor sensibility

Hero Dad Arrested For Trying To Protect Kids From Filthy Sex Book

A hero parent in Gilford, New Hampshire, was thwarted in his brave attempt to turn a school board meeting into a trial of the tyrants at the school when he was arrested after challenging a cop to arrest him. It’s a chilling vision of sex-soaked filthy Nazi fascism in Obama’s America, as a jackbooted police officer brutally smashes the Constitution into the ground and then machineguns Thomas Jefferson’s corpse and the First Amendment means NOTHING anymore. That, or an angry parent who refused to stop interrupting a school board meeting was arrested for disorderly conduct and released on bail shortly afterward. But it’s definitely one of those two. Also, Common Core! Read more on Hero Dad Arrested For Trying To Protect Kids From Filthy Sex Book…
  i should be allowed to glue my poster / I should have a call-in show

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Leave Alex Jones Aloooooone!

Attention, Wonkerinos! We have an important message — five, actually — from a reader who was miffed that today’s Wonket did not give Alex Jones and his merry band of truthseekers their due. “Groovychickedy” just wants to set the record straight for us: One cannot simply brush Alex Jones under the carpet anymore. Alternative media has grown 1000% in the last two years. No one believes what the TV is telling them anymore. Infowars must be more legitimate than you are making them out to be, Senator Josh Miller had to de-activated his Facebook account due to the backlash. When has one of your stories made a Congressman issue an apology or cause them to de-activate their social media accounts? Guns are baked into the bread that is America. The Second Amendment protects all the other amendments, even your right to speak like an unAmerican Communist. Damn straight! If Alex Jones and his Keyboard Kommandos aren’t legitimate, then how could they possibly troll a Rhode Island state senator’s Facebook account into submission, huh? He had to de-activated it! If that’s not evidence of a relentless pursuit of the facts, we don’t know what is. Protip: Do not bake guns into your America Bread without first ensuring that the clip is empty and the chamber is clear; dry-firing into the flour bin is recommended for safety. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Leave Alex Jones Aloooooone!…
  start 'em young

High School Administration Teaches Student Journalists Valuable Lesson: We Will Censor You Early And Often

Did you do high school journalism way back in the day when you had to do layout with a knife and the hot glue roller thing, or was that just us? SHUT UP WE ARE NOT THAT OLD. High school journalism has gotten downright good looking in the Internet era and apparently also got hard-hitting, which is a lot different than when we had to do fluff columns on the football teams. Some students in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, did a piece for their school newspaper on rape, rape jokes, and rape culture. This seems like a good thing for the high school newspaper to tackle, right? And they actually did it in a respectful, sensitive, interesting, relevant way, but because you should learn early on that life is terrible, they got in trouble with the administration rather than getting praise. Read more on High School Administration Teaches Student Journalists Valuable Lesson: We Will Censor You Early And Often…
  fark you

Hey Reddit /R/Politics Refugees, Have You Considered Annexing Wonkville?

Do you know Reddit? It is this thing. It is a glorious place of Internet freedom where users (“Redditors”) post stories they have found from other places, and then other users (“Redditors”) vote up and down on whether it is “hot” or “not.” In that regard, it is much like our own Wonkville, where we send our readers to slave in the story mines and then bitch about how their headlines were better. A hot post on Reddit’s main politics “subreddit,” /r/politics, will flood the original site from which it was linked with masses of lovely, beautiful, $$$ traffic. This can be quite important, when you are trying to pay people and also eat food and also not be homeless, despite making your “living” on the internet. (Please send money.) But a thing has happened at /r/politics, and that is that some “moderators” went full Al Haig and had themselves a teeny-weeny little attack of I’M IN CHARGE HERE. They decreed that henceforth they would ban all stories from about a thousand million different websites completely (scroll down for the banned domains), for the crimes of being “sensational” (headlines that oversell their stories), “blogspam” (basically, any aggregator of news from around the web, which every blog is), or “bad journalism” (undefined). Among those sites? Just some total nonentities you’ve never heard of, like Mother Jones, the National Review, Media Matters, Right Wing Watch, Salon, Think Progress, and Huffington Post. Read more on Hey Reddit /R/Politics Refugees, Have You Considered Annexing Wonkville?…
  hero in tighty-whities terrorizes uptighty whiteys

‘Captain Underpants’ Series Stars In This Year’s Banned Book Week; Suck It, ’50 Shades’

It’s the American Library Association’s Banned Books Week again, that time of year when we celebrate literacy’s fight against the censorious prigs who make it their business to make sure that children and even adults are protected from BAD BOOKS. Not badly-written books, of course — those are doing just fine. Many of the books that end up getting pulled from school and public libraries are actually quite good, but they have content that makes some people nervous, like sex or bad words. Not infrequently, they include some genuine classics, like The Grapes of Wrath (burned in 1939 in East St. Louis, and banned many other places) or Slaughterhouse-Five (also burned in Drake, North Dakota, in 1973, and banned most recently — 2011 — from the high school in Republic, Missouri). Read more on ‘Captain Underpants’ Series Stars In This Year’s Banned Book Week; Suck It, ’50 Shades’…
  j. edgar hoosier

Former Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels Is Just Your Average Everyday Book-Burning University President

The few times we ever gave former Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels much thought, he always seemed like a Scott Walker wannabe who was trying to prove that he too could destroy public employee unions and pass “right to work” and just generally be terrible. The biggest difference between them seemed to be that Scott Walker never lost an argument with a door. But now it looks like maybe we misunderestimated Mitch Daniels, because it turns out that he had some awful qualities all his own! The AP reports that emails from 2010 show that Daniels sought to ban Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States from Indiana schools and universities (he considered it “propaganda”) and also tried to cut funding for a professor who had criticized him. We bet that the committee who chose Daniels as president of Purdue University is really happy with this news. (Oh of course they are — he appointed the board of trustees that hired him!) Read more on Former Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels Is Just Your Average Everyday Book-Burning University President…
  Communist Marxist Islamists

Lupe Fiasco Absolutely Not Bound And Gagged By Management For Tweeting Marxist Stuff

Nothing says “good judgment” like when a celebrity starts a conversation about Marxism on a Twitter feed! This is what skateboard rapper Lupe Fiasco found out last night, as he tried to have an in-depth discussion — 140 characters at a time — about the means of production, the theoretical value of labor, and the relationship of class struggle to social change. How did this go? Pretty well, actually, until his management took over and advised everyone to shut up and go away. On the plus side, now we know what the ACTUAL Muslim Communist agenda looks like: Read more on Lupe Fiasco Absolutely Not Bound And Gagged By Management For Tweeting Marxist Stuff…
  the rated r superstar

Hollywood Liberals Conspire To Give R Rating To Children’s Film About Andrew Breitbart

Sorry, kids, but Pixar’s newest release, Hating Breitbart, will be rated R, so you will have to either sneak in with fake IDs or wait for it to appear on Encore in, oh, three months. The Daily Caller smells a conspiracy! Producers of the biographical documentary “Hating Breitbart” got news last week that their film received an “R” rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. And with that move official Hollywood, long the preserve of liberal culture warriors, has had what appears to be the last laugh on the late Andrew Breitbart. Oh, yes, the MPAA, that sterling bastion of cultural libertines. (Ask Kevin Smith about getting an NC-17 for language, right after he finishes his guest post at Pajamas Media.) Read more on Hollywood Liberals Conspire To Give R Rating To Children’s Film About Andrew Breitbart…
  who knows what might happen

GOP Rep. Warns Activist to ‘Consider’ Before Trying to Educate Congress Again

Colorado GOP Representative Doug Lamborn, the nefarious numbskull briefly mocked in the national news last year for managing to slip the words “tar baby” into a whine about the black president, would not care to apologize to an award-winning coal-mining activist whose attempt to testify to the House Natural Resources Committee about the pollution caused by mountaintop coal-removal using a photograph of a forlorn-looking child huddled in a bathtub full of putrid orange water was met with a child pornography investigation from Capitol Police, at the request of committee staff members. The police of course found nothing, but let this be…some kind of dire lesson, about trying to educate members of Congress against their will. “I think this woman should consider what type of materials she brings to hearings,” said Lamborn. “Maybe that’s something she wants to consider.” Speaking of considerations, what led him to this astute conclusion? What specifically in his own estimation? Read more on GOP Rep. Warns Activist to ‘Consider’ Before Trying to Educate Congress Again…