Tag Archives: censorship

  God hates literary experiences

Duke Freshman Snowflake Babies Pretty Sure Mom Said No Reading Books About Lesbians

And this time, they brought Jesus.
And this time, they brought Jesus. Hating on millennial snowflakes and conservative Christian whiners at the same time? SIGN US UP! So here is a story from the 8th-ranked-in-the-nation Duke University, where, IN THEORY, idiots aren’t allowed to study. Every year, Duke picks a book for all the new kiddies to read, as part of the Duke Common Experience Program, which “is designed to give incoming students a shared intellectual experience with other members of their class.” Because “I just finished puberty and I’m really good at beer pong!” is apparently not “intellectual” enough for these snobs, we guess. This year, they chose Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, which Duke describes like so: Read more on Duke Freshman Snowflake Babies Pretty Sure Mom Said No Reading Books About Lesbians…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says Liberals Bad, Kevin Costner Movie Good

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
In the penultimate edition of the Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker, Sarah Palin is pretty sure she’s being silenced by duh, who else, “the left.” Also too, if you need a movie recommendation, Sarah would like to put in a good word for McFarland USA, an inspirational sports story about family, long-distance running, and benevolent white paternalism. Paired together, these two videos are no more incoherent than anything else Palin’s done with her dumb fake television channel whut is on the Internet, so let’s just get to the blockquoting. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says Liberals Bad, Kevin Costner Movie Good…
  You've Got To Be Carefully Taught Nothing

Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No

Well that DOES look like indoctrination
A group of Very Concerned Parents are petitioning the Duval County Public School District in Florida to remove two books from the third-grade reading list because they’re simply too Muslimy for use in a public school. The books, Nasreen’s Secret School and The Librarian of Basra, are both by Jeanette Winter, and are based on true stories from Afghanistan and Iraq, respectively. And while both books are about the value of literacy and the love of reading, some parents want them gone from the reading list and the library, thanks to an online campaign describing the books as Islamic propaganda and potentially too mature for young readers. Yeesh. And Banned Books Week isn’t even until late September. Read more on Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No…
  Two Books That Will Now Be More Popular

In Surprise Twist, Texas Town Allows Fabulous Kids’ Books To Gay Up Public Library

They don't want to censor anything. They just don't think anyone should read propaganda.
Here’s your Nice Time for the day: Despite a number of complaints from Christian conservatives demanding that two LGBT-themed books be removed from the children’s collection of the Hood County Library in Granbury, Texas, the Hood County Commission allowed the books to remain on the shelves. The terrible brain warping books — My Princess Boy by Cheryl Kilodavis, said to have the power of a thousand ordinary Davises, about a boy who likes to wear pretty dresses, and This Day in June by Gayle E. Pitman, about a Pride parade — were targeted by a local Tea party group as offensive, tasteless, an affront to all that is decent and good, and likely to cause spontaneous outbreaks of musical theater. In a standing-room only meeting Tuesday night, the Commission voted to keep the books anyway; as of press time we have had no reports of Granbury being obliterated by a meteor. Read more on In Surprise Twist, Texas Town Allows Fabulous Kids’ Books To Gay Up Public Library…
  Empathy Has No Place In The Classroom

NC Teacher Resigns After Reading Kids Fairy Tale With The Queer Kind Of Fairies

Why is the little prince bringing flaming asparagus to a wedding?
Thanks to protests by easily-outraged parents, a teacher and an assistant principal at an elementary school in Efland, North Carolina, have resigned after the teacher read third-graders a perfectly innocuous book about a gay prince who finds love. The teacher, Omar Currie, read the story to his class after overhearing students taunting a boy in his class, calling him “gay” and saying he was acting like a girl. He’d borrowed the book from Assistant Principal Meg Goodhand, so she had to go, too — far too much gay propaganda thrown at innocent children who were simply exercising their constitutional right to bully a little homo. Read more on NC Teacher Resigns After Reading Kids Fairy Tale With The Queer Kind Of Fairies…
  Reading Is Fundament-al

High School Teacher Canned For Teaching Allen Ginsberg’s Filthy Buttsechs Poetry

Bias Confession: I think Howl is a wee bit overrated
The children of South Windsor, Connecticut, are at long last safe from the pernicious influence of David Olio, who has been forced to resign as an English teacher at South Windsor High School after showing a video of Allen Ginsberg reading his poem “Please, Master” to his Advanced Placement English class in February. The poem, which is definitely not rated PG, apparently upset some students enough that they complained to their parents, so the school suspended and then moved to fire Olio, who had taught at the high school since 1996. Read more on High School Teacher Canned For Teaching Allen Ginsberg’s Filthy Buttsechs Poetry…
  Especially if you put the homo kisses next to the Jumble!

Texas GOP Chair Just Don’t Cotton To Them ‘Angry-Looking Homosexual Women’

That guy right there, name of Tom Mechler, has been chosen to be the new head of the Texas GOP, and boy howdy, does he have some thoughts on the gays and what they’ve gone and done to civility and family values culture! The Texas Observer reports that Mechler, last March, penned himself a screed in the Amarillo Globe-News, due to an incident what had happened at the Amarillo Town Club. You see, one day a couple of lesbians marched up into the club and thought that maybe, hey, you give family discounts, we are a lesbian couple, we can have discount? The Amarillo Town Club is apparently not cool like Planet Fitness, and they said no, you cannot, we say you’re not a family. Read more on Texas GOP Chair Just Don’t Cotton To Them ‘Angry-Looking Homosexual Women’…
  The KKK Took My Baby Away And Ate My Homework

Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!

Even the far-left liberal blog Wonkette says you don't get a free pass over art that bothers you
The University of Iowa has urged faculty members to let students miss or re-take tests if they were upset over some campus art that was SUPER RACIST (because it addressed racism). Apparently some students were so broken up over either the artwork itself — or the controversy surrounding its removal by the university — that they simply couldn’t get their schoolwork done. Letting students ignore their assignments because they had really strong feelings about a work of art strikes us as maybe a bad idea? Read more on Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!…
  Also 'Grapes Of Wrath' Too Dusty

Rich Texas Parents: Reading Ayn Rand In School Will Fix All The Poverty

You can't go wrong with the classics
Oh, Texas. This is so very you: A book about poverty is again being challenged in Highland Park ISD, one of the wealthiest school districts in the state. Seems that some parents are worried that The Working Poor: Invisible in America, by David K. Shipler, is too “sexually explicit” for 11th graders in an advanced placement class that’s meant to be the equivalent of a college course. Also, the complaint says, the book would be better suited to a political science or sociology class. Worst of all, it’s about poor people struggling to make ends meet in America, and no teenager needs to be exposed to such communist lies. (We’re extrapolating that last bit). Read more on Rich Texas Parents: Reading Ayn Rand In School Will Fix All The Poverty…
  pieholes are for shutting

Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Obamas Allow Girls To Listen To Beyonce, Who Is A Prostitute

Huck must have needed a whole bottle of his heart pills when this popped up on screen.
Mike Huckabee, a man so unpleasant that dogs will commit suicide to avoid being dragged home to meet him, has been looking for a way he can distinguish himself as this election cycle’s go-to moral scold. Not content to call a black entertainer a pimp for letting his singer wife dance around on a stage like a common tart, he has now gone after two of the singer’s fans by questioning their parents’ judgment for letting them listen to her music. Oh, and those fans happen to be Malia and Sasha Obama. Damn kids, always listening to that Negro jazz and swinging their hips around like horny sex monsters and such! Read more on Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Obamas Allow Girls To Listen To Beyonce, Who Is A Prostitute…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors

Sudo bring me a muffin.
It’s time for another Derp Roundup, the occasional feature where we pressure-wash all the crud off our open browser tabs and bring you some stories that didn’t quite merit their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. Please administer brain bleach with caution. Read more on Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors…
  The First Amendment Will Be In its Bunk

British Nanny State In Spot Of Bother At Freak Mustachio-Ride Skinflick Demises

Didn't they send all the Puritans over here?
British porn fans are about to see some changes in the material available for their wanking pleasure — or at least in the domestically produced stuff. Last year, the Conservative government banned rape porn — not in-real-life rape, which is of course evil and already illegal, but the pretend fantasy kind, involving well-paid consenting actors, which some people are into, we have been told. Now, under the guise of making porn safer for those involved in the business, the government arbitrarily banned a whole slew of sex acts (and this is where we probably should remind you that this article will name some of them, but not include any illustrations, so depending on where you W, what follows may be NSF that place). Read more on British Nanny State In Spot Of Bother At Freak Mustachio-Ride Skinflick Demises…
  The Master's A Tool

Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured

Remember how the Teaheads in Chandler Gilbert (Dok’s geographic aphasia strikes again), Arizona, are on the cusp of murdering some biology textbooks because the books say that abortion is a thing that exists? Well, it’s time for a big ol’ “Both Sides Do It!” jamboree, because in Brookline, Massachusetts, some parents are simply livid about a passage in a 5th-grade American History text that says — and we hope you are sitting down — that not every slave back in slavery times was horribly mistreated. A local teevee report explains that after parents complained to the local school board, the district announced the book, published in 2001, would be phased out at the end of the year; in the meantime, according to a letter sent to parents, it will not be used in history classes, but rather, the passage will be used to “question the authority of a published book.” Read more on Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured…
  All This Fuss Over A Few Clumps Of Words

Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board

Grab yer razor blades and white-out!
So here’s one more bit of Election Nice Time: turns out that even in hyper-conservative Gilbert, Arizona, a bedroom community to the Phoenix metro horrorplex, it is in fact possible for a conservative school board to go to far. And it looks like the Gilbert School Board’s decision last week to razor out a page from an Honors Biology textbook in the high school — because it mentions the abortion pill — is what counts as too far: the good people of Gilbert elected two new members and reelected an anti-censorship member, replacing the Tea Party-leaning majority on the board with a new majority that is firmly against slicing out a page from a biology textbook out of fear that high schoolers will learn that abortion exists. There were other tensions between the board and the community, too, but the textbook censorship seems to have been the last straw. Read more on Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board…
  Just Cut It Out Like...Like Something That Is Unlike An abortion

Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook

Fine, whatever, this is Shreveport, Loiusiana, not Gilbert. Fine
Rest easy, innocent children of Gilbert, Arizona: You won’t have to worry about being corrupted by your biology textbooks anymore! The Gilbert School Board voted Tuesday to remove a page from the high school’s honors biology textbook, because they were worried it might be in violation of an Arizona law requiring that all instructional materials promote “childbirth or adoption” instead of abortion. Read more on Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook…
  wonkette world o' books

It’s Banned Books Week. Go Read Something Subversive!

Seems fitting for weekend of the Values Voters summit...
Can you believe that Banned Books Week is almost over? But you don’t have to fear — people are always trying to ban something, somewhere, so you can still enjoy a banned book at your leisure. Here’s a shopping list from the American Library Association’s list of the 10 most banned or challenged books of 2013 — and if you buy using the links here, a chunk o’ the purchase price goes to support Yr Wonkette! Read more on It’s Banned Books Week. Go Read Something Subversive!…