Wonkette

After a brief stint as arm candy for America’s most exciting celebrity veep candidate, John McCain went back to being sad old WALNUTS! yesterday when he had to attend a public event all by himself. Of course it went disastrously, because nobody likes John McCain — not even his supporters! Ugh, how embarrassing. MORE »

Here’s John McCain’s latest idiot web ad attacking Barack Obama for being awesome and pretty much the most likable guy on earth. The only reason McCain is issuing this ad, of course, is so liberal bloggers can complain about the racial overtones inherent in white girls talking about getting “weak in the knees” over Obama. Then this theory will make it to all news networks; insecure white swing-voters will get sick of hearing about “Obama making this election about race” and decide to vote McCain based on inexplicable “character” issues. Oh, the liberal bloggers get blamed for everything. Ergo: this ad is Not Racist, but it is, what’s the word, completely retarded and not truthful. And not funny. [YouTube]

This ad about John McCain’s 26 years servicing Washington has funny olde-tyme flapper music and lots of clips of John McCain debasing himself by hugging people and going on the Jay Leno show. The most shocking part is the outtakes from his sex tape with Paris Hilton: he is not known as the “White Tornado” for nothing. [Ben Smith]

While everybody else was laughing at that ridiculous Paris Hilton/Obama ad the McCain people released yesterday, at least two very wealthy Republican donors were furious: William Barron Hilton and Rick Hilton, Paris’ grandfather and father. MORE »

• BUT WHAT (100-YEAR-OLD DEAD) CELEBRITY IS McCAIN? Choose from several deceased people or psychotic 1940s cartoon characters with speech impediments! [Political Machine]

CRUCIAL FONZIE ENDORSEMENT GOES TO OBAMA: Cool guy Henry Winkler tells LA City Beat that he’s supporting cool guy Barack Obama. But Mrs. C is totally supporting Hillary. [LA City Beat]