Wonkette

A comical idiot girl on the teevee show The Hills has endorsed John McCain, according to TMZ and US Weekly. This pretty much ensures that Old Man Walnuts will become president. Let’s explore the cultural/political significance of Heidi Montag, who apparently goes around in public in a whimsical prostitute nightgown, after the jump.

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The Los Angeles Times‘ most famous blogger has up a little Q&A with the basketball-loving Democratic presidential candidate. We are assured that a President Obama would install a hoop on White House grounds. [The Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Blog] MORE »

St. Barack of Obama spoke to trashy supermarket tabloid US Weekly! They asked him a bunch of dumb questions — the stuff of interest to, we imagine, US Weekly readers — and he sort of held his nose and half-answered them. But what kind of underwear does our handsomest president prefer? MORE »

Ok we don’t actually give a shit about Russell Crow, Leonardo Di Caprio, or Ridley Scott, but it might be worth it to go see “two cars… mechanically overturned in the street” over at Eastern Market. Or shit, maybe you missed it already, who knows? [BYT]

America, get ready for eight glorious, god-fearing years of the Sam Brownback Presidency. It’s a done deal now that he’s netted this crucial endorsement: MORE »

Paulie Walnuts and Melissa Gilbert are the only celebrities giving money to a Republican. And it’s Rudy, because they love America and hate firemen. Mark Ruffalo hearts Mike Gravel because they both have funny names and enjoy throwing things. John Lithgow gave Chris Dodd $1,000 and we don’t even have a joke for that. [CNN]

John McCain has a hundred soldiers protecting him as he braves markets in California, Karen Hughes atones for the Administration’s moral failings one spoonful at a time, Rahm Emanuel stuffs his own face every night of the week, Trent Lott names things after himself, Christopher Hitchens is surprisingly solvent, Chuck Hagel’s offspring is surprisingly not repellent, and our favorite Marine can’t stay semper fi to just one lady.

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We’re always terribly excited when Washington gets some real Hollywood star power — who doesn’t get a little thrill from spotting a celebrity in our neck of the woods? We know we’re thrilled to report this list of Tinseltown stars hanging around our humble district today: MORE »

Paul Bremer and Dennis Kucinich are totally deluded, Patrick McHenry and George Will are likely quaaluded, David Wu and Bradley Whitford are enrapt, and Helen Thomas is trapped — going to the same restaurants she’s been going to since her 60’s, or the 60’s, whichever.

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What makes John Bolton such an asshole? Is Joe Lieberman just pretending to be Jewish? How thankful is Tim Russert for the Sunday morning make-up gay at NBC? Does Chris Dodd hate his family as much as we think he does? Answer these and find out what part of George Stephanopoulos is “gorgeous and thick.”

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