The White House released its visitors’ log, which was something people cared about whenever everyone was earnest about Transparency like a few months ago. Obama released 481 names—which is actually only a selection of all the visitors—but the list is like the Oscars Red Carpet + a visitors’ log from a prison in the 70s + a random list of names X 100! Names after the jump: Nobodies will be briefly glossed, while status-y names will written in bold, for such is their wont. MORE »

Nancy Pelosi has invited Paul Simon, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony to join in our nation’s health care and college financial aid debates. Everyone very kindly welcome Paul, Jennifer, and the other one, Matt! These Hollywood celebrities are from out West, way out in California-Town, just like Nancy Pelosi. This is how they know each other, from California. This is also the second time in a few weeks that Pelosi invited Paul Simon to D.C. for the important legislative Beltway work of politics. “The relationships, they deepen with repeat visits,” said Paul Simon. “The more you get to know somebody the longer the conversations get.” Haha, Paul Simon. MORE »

• SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? “Certainly, McCain had no idea if the person on the other end of the tweet was really depressed or just seeking attention, but she was legitimately trying to help someone. That deserves respect, not taunting. Yet Layne continued to make fun of her, accusing her of being a second-rate ‘Bat Man’ and of going ‘progressively more nuts while reading the random twitters of other people.’” Best part of this commentary: it’s filed under the “Celebrity Kids” category. [Examiner]

It must be Sweeps Week in another version of reality, as Leon Wieseltier, New Republic’s ranking number two funny old man with funny old racist ideas, guest stars on All About Steve, a teevee show, to play the head of the FLO, the Freudian Liberation Organization. [DCist] MORE »

Life in DC was exciting for about two and a half seconds when Brad Pitt visited in order to make out with Nancy Pelosi in her private chambers. Oh and then Richard Gere popped by also, which nobody cared about so much. Has Richard Gere been in a movie where he shows his admirable lack of vanity by starting out all gross and warty and gradually aging into a beautiful young specimen of flesh? Nope. Anyway, in lieu of Pitt sightings we bring you word of such handsome hunks as Trent Lott, Jonathan Martin, Patrick Leahy, and Christopher Hitchens.

When you go to your local Harris Teeter do *you* see somebody who looks vaguely familiar, and there you are racking your brains wondering if you should say hello or not, and then you remember you saw them on “Hardball” talking about agricultural subsidies? Send us word of these life-changing events! Write to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line “Wonk’d.” MORE »

If Ronald Reagan were still alive today, guess what he’d do, don’t know?, okay we’ll tell you, he’d make sure that none of these dandy Hollywood Actors ever tried running for major office, he would. Such as. [The Corner]

Shut up shut up shut up shhut shut shut up shup shut ut shup shut up. SHHH. What the hell. Jason Bateman why are you talking about your poop. Here’s our “Obama pledge,” you queers, and that’s simply to let people die when they get death diseases rather than watch the U.S. go bankrupt over a health care problem, which seems to be your ultimate goal. This pledge requires much less effort than Demi Moore’s pledge, which is “to free one million slaves in the next five years.” Like, WHAT? Does she even have a plan for that? C’mon. C’MON. Bwah bwah bwah. [via Andrew Sullivan]

So the absolute most worthless people on this rotten planet are liberals, filthy rat-sucking liberals, particularly limousine liberals from liberal Hollywood and their east coast enablers, the Non-Profit Outreach Directors. They get together for these Red Bull-fueled art parties on either coast a couple of times a year to literally masturbate to themselves. They have NO FOOD at their parties because they are all gay, and anorexic. We went to one of these parties last night, and just you wait for this blush of libtardation: “The MoveOn.org, SEIU, Obey Giant Manifest Hope DC Party.” It was actually pretty cool and we don’t mean any of the nasty things we just wrote. (But seriously, no food.) Sexy picture time! MORE »

YOUR EDITOR HAS TO GO TAPE A RADIO THING NOW: Wonkette’s own Sara K. Smith will be on the “Good News, Bad News, No News” segment of Weekend America tomorrow, offering her valuable opinions on the news — that is, unless she chokes on her tongue during the taping, or is unable to come up with family-friendly descriptors for Joe Lieberman. The point is, Ken will be posting “soon.” [Weekend America]

John McCain and Sarah Palin recently held a rally in Green Bay for 10,000 people, but sad Barack Obama could only scare up 6,000 at noon on a Monday. He promised to talk about our nation’s flourishing economy and instead just delivered a weird lecture about how important it is to put lobbyist meetings online via a hidden sexcam. Then an organizer came out and made this weird election-day threat: “Volunteer for at least one hour or spend four years regretting that you did not.” Barack Obama is resorting to scare tactics and hidden lobbyist pornography. He must be panicking! [Chicago Sun-Times]

Here’s your “Friday Fun Video” that has nothing to do with politics, thank GOD. This week, Wonkette videographer Liz Glover is wearing her other hat as BlackBook reporter in New York City for Fashion Week, an event to honor 9/11 with fancy clothes. Liz interviews insane “art film” director and actor Vincent Gallo and asks him, comically, if his leather jacket is “pleather.” Gallo loses his shit and threatens to track down Liz and fuck her up. Ha ha! Liz responds that her father was in ‘Nam, which he was. [BlackBook]