At Tuesday’s Obama Press Conference, CBS’ Chip Reid wanted Obama to admit that Lindsey Graham and John McCain were finally knocking some sense into his weak skull about how he needed to yell at/bomb Iran some more. America aids its friends of course! And even though Obama only kicked up his rhetoric a half-degree or so on Tuesday, Ahmadinejad was very quick to condemn America’s meddling. So today all Chip Reid wanted to know was why this idiot Obama would speak so recklessly about Iran’s internal politics — doesn’t he know anything about international relations?? [YouTube]

• CBS GOLF ASSHOLE HAS MURDER PLANS FOR, UH, NANCY PELOSI: “From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this, though: despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden, there’s a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death.” [The Hill]

Oh look it is your MSNBC friend Chris Matthews, with that dude Craig Ferguson who is very funny but we are asleep (drunk) by then. Matthews is talking about what it felt like to rape Michele Bachmann to death. “Squishy,” he says. “Precious bodily fluids.” Yuck. [Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson]

Do we have to watch this? All the way through? Tragically, the answer is Yes. We must all watch John McCain say “I screwed up” to a late-night comedy host. MORE »

Ooh, we might have to watch David Letterman tonight for the first time in 20 years: “David Letterman tells audience that McCain called him today to tell him he had to rush back to DC to deal with the economy. Then in the middle of the taping Dave got word that McCain was, in fact just down the street being interviewed by Katie Couric. Dave even cut over to the live video of the interview, and said, ‘Hey Senator, can I give you a ride home?’” Heh. Just kidding, we won’t watch Letterman. [Drudge]

In an age when most reporters for the American media are timid, pasty, milquetoast mumblers, Lara Logan stands head and balls above the rest. Sure, we’ve seen some stories about her romantical adventures in Iraq’s Green Zone and an exciting brawl in a safe house between two rival suitors — and our only question is, Just two? MORE »

Oh no no no no no, no, no! Katie Couric’s debate has been canceled, and she’ll never be a famous teevee star like Bob Schieffer. The North Carolina Democratic party has nixed the proposed April 27 CBS debate because of logistical and scheduling concerns. In its press release, however, the party did hint at the real issue for cancellation: “There were also growing concerns about what another debate would do to party unity.” In other words, the state party and CBS don’t want to be maligned as badly as George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson and everyone involved in last week’s crapfest-from-space were. [Deep breath]. Thank God there is not a debate on April 27. [Ben Smith]

CBS is loving the hell out of this Bosnia story, the one where Hillary fabricated an entire event to make herself look like a Tuff Guy. Here’s the latest, most thorough report on the matter. If you still cannot understand the offensive nature of Hillary’s actions, check out Liberal Blog X, and it will angrily explain why this offends you. [YouTube]

On her CBS news program yesterday, Katie Couric asked various presidential candidates what’s the most “disillusioning” part of running for president. Typical liberal elitist Barry Obama says he hates going to free chicken dinner fundraisers when he could be doing, say, anything else. As someone who hasn’t had a hot meal in several months, I’d urge Barry to be thankful that someone feeds him.

Hilariousness part 1: A new New York Times/CBS poll finds voters credit the presidential candidates “with spending more time explaining what they would do as president rather than attacking their opponents.” Hilariousness part 2: “Hillary Clinton was viewed as running the most positive campaign of the leading Democratic candidates.” [The Caucus]

Yesterday in New York Supreme Court, CBS filed a 30-page motion to dismiss former reporter Dan Rather’s $70 million civil lawsuit, reports The New York Observer. CBS executives released a statement saying network execs are “mystified” by Rather’s “bizarre allegations” and will “vigorously” defend themselves in court. “Dan Rather is one of the most important figures in the history of broadcast journalism, and for more than 40 years was one of our most valued colleagues,” CBS said in the statement. “That is why we at CBS are mystified and saddened by the baseless and self-serving allegations and distortions of fact raised in his lawsuit.” Details after the jump. MORE »