Here’s to you, anonymous emailer, for our favorite tip of the day! MORE »

Our national nervous breakdown continues: A 43-year-old Pennsylvania man calmly showed up at his polling place, went to his assigned machine and destroyed it with a “metal cat paperweight.” MORE »

The Senate’s own cat-mutilating gorilla surgeon can no longer call himself a doctor. Not legally, anyway.

Bill Frist lost his medical license after he was caught creating a hybrid cat-ape-human species from Terri Schiavo’s stem cells without the Continuing Education credits that doctors need to maintain their practice.

Also, Frist lied about it and got caught. Read about the dashed presidential hopes of Schiavo’s Hero, after the jump.

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You tolerated her as the teary-eyed wife of Rob Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show and the straight gal on her “breakthrough” eponymous show (you know the one where she threw her hat up into the air during the opening credits and played straight gal to Capt. Stubing of the Love Boat)–and you absolutely loved her like a tortured Harvey Keitel-tormented-Catholic-type in her 1969 (!) Elvis-nun flick, Change of Habit (it was her personal Mean Streets and Bad Lieutenant rolled into one, with a touch of The Piano thrown in for good measure!).

But for all of us who revel in the federally funded wanton murder of leftover frozen embryos in the hopes of curing everything from spinal cord injuries to simple chronic halitosis, public diabetic Mary Tyler Moore shone like a beacon yesterday as the U.S. Senate approved a stem-cell research bill. There she was, reports the Chicago Sun-Times’ Lynn Sweet in Mickey Spillanesque prose, confabbing with admitted cat killer and stem cell backer, Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.):

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We’re guessing: MORE »

People work fast in this town. “Very Fancy Frist,” unfortunately, avoids that hint of maybe-possibly impicit miscegenation fear that is the heart and soul of “Fancy Ford.” And it’s full of all these criticisms of, like, his policies and voting record and shit. They don’t even mention cats. MORE »

Their blogging can be just as random as ADD-afflicted as anyone else’s, dammit! MORE »

Have you signed Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s Bithday Card yet? How about a brief glimpse at who has:

Here’s one that demonstrates either poor word choice or a remarkably dry sense of humor:
“You have done a commendable job as Majority (and Republican) Leader keeping our Senate GOP ‘cats‘ together on most issues and implementing our President’s agenda.”

And one that slipped by the moderators:
“You should resign. That would be a birthday present for America. Besides killing cats and hiring Mitch Bainwol, what have you done for America?”

Perhaps they kept that one unedited because of its implicit acknowledgment that killing cats is good for America. Also, we’re still not quite clear on what the head of the RIAA has to do with feline-vivisection.

Another demonstrating that perhaps we should all pitch in and get the Senator a better web staff for his big day:
By the way, given your expertise at making medical diagnoses via videotape, did VP Cheney request a web cam hook up so that you could have a look at Mr. Wittington’s shotgun wounds last Saturday?

Happy Birthday. Now blow out all the candles; call your broker; dump some more HCA stock in that blind trust of yours; and continue to whine about the big bad liberal press.

And after the jump, though it’s now sadly removed from Frist’s site, more proof that Republicans can be remarkably like-minded.

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