Tag: catholics

Donald Trump Doesn’t Want To Admit Refugees Because He’s A Racist, Dammit, A RACIST!

Is Trump really concerned about protecting Americans? Hahahaha, you are funny!

Nancy Pelosi Just Wondering How Many Of You Republicans Are On Slut Pills

Nancy thinks Republicans denying Zika funding because of Planned Parenthood are a buncha birth control-using hypocrites, yep yep yep.

Celebrate The Feast Day Of St. Zita, Patron Saint Of Servers, By Flipping Off A Customer

Did you know today, April 27, is the feast day of St. Zita, Patron Saint of waiters and waitresses? We did not, but let us celebrate it together! Given that I'm Jewish, I had to go look up Catholic traditions...

New York Priest Stole $1M Church Lady Donations For His Gay S&M Master, As One Does

Every Sunday around the great US and A, churches pass the collection plates, so they can use the money to buy food and clothes for poor kids, and send Bibles to China, and so their priests can have "drug-fueled...
The pope's new record, probably.

Pope Francis Drops Dope New Record On Black Friday, Like A Common Adele

Know that thing when you are sporting around in your new Lexus, gettin' in a little "Dad Time" while you take your privileged white children to soccer practice by forcing them to listen to Rush? (The band, not the...
Hasa diga eebowai, motherfuckers.

Thousands Of Mormons To Nail Magic Underpants To Temple Door In Mass Resignation

Oh fiddlesticks, the Mormon Church has angered some of the people on its membership rolls! If you'll remember, the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints decided it was time to update its policies on the EW GAYS,...

Kansas Teacher Does The Gay Agenda To Kids, Refuses To Resign In Shame

Welcome to Kansas, where the deer and the antelope play, the cows had voting rights before the women, and you're not supposed to be nice to the homosexuals. So there's a middle school social studies teacher in Conway Springs, Kansas,...
Oh look, they are kissing. Bet they're about to do some "mission work" to each other's bathing suit areas.

Dumb Duggar Kids Admit Mission Trip Is Basically Sexxxy Beach Vacation For Jesus

YR WONKET CALLED IT, MUST CREDIT WONKET! You people out there in internet-ville think oh, Wonkette is such a gas, the way they make up silly stories about how Jill Duggar and her long lanky sex penis "Derick Dillard"...
But I thought I hated fags real good too!

Kim Davis’s Lawyers Say She Had A Secret Stitch ‘N’ Bitch With Pope Francis

OH GODDAMMIT, IF TRUE. Good, decent people in America are trying really hard to think the best of this new commie pope, who seems to be trying to take the focus off hot button wingnut issues to return the...
Lance Sanderson, with gay stripes all over him.

Catholic School Sends Gay Boy Home For A Week To Think About How Gay He’s Been

Remember that kid from Memphis, Gay Lance Something-Or-Other? If you don't, NO, he did not build a clock, that boy was a Muslim, not a gay! Lance Sanderson is a senior at a Catholic boys' school called Christian Brothers,...
The pope has changed my life!

Here Are A Bunch Of Pictures Of John Boehner Crying Alcoholic Tears On The Pope

Everybody knows two things about John Boehner. For one, he cries SO MUCH. Like all the time, about any old fucking thing. Eyelash in his hoo-ha? TEARS. Something about Australia? BOO HOO! Nancy Pelosi said a mean to him? Gonna...
The Pope's a commie? You don't Che!

Conservatives Ready To Impeach Pope While He’s In The Neighborhood

So New Pope is coming to visit us here in the New World (fine, he's from that other America down south, the one that doesn't count), and there are a lot of right-wingers who are not happy about it,...
Hi Kim Davis, bye Kim Davis!

Pope Francis Offers Get Out Of Hell Free Card To Baby-Killing Whores

Sometimes we like New Pope Frank. Like, when he gets all Truffula tree-huggy and wants to save the Swomee Swans, or whatever, because God said, "Here is a earth-shaped planet, keep it pretty." And those times when New Pope is like,...
Don't you want to feel Chris Christie's rhythm?

Chris Christie’s Hot Tips For Sexing Your Lady Without Putting A Babby In Her Butt

Don't eat lunch today, because New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has admitted in a town hall meeting not only to engaging in sexual intercourse with a human woman, but also being a whore who uses slut pills, to keep from...
Olé!

Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King

What comes to mind when you think of Iowa Rep. Steve King? Racist? Wingnut? Asshole? Dumb as a knapsack full of syphilitic fucks? Well you are wrong, because the only thing that should come into your mind when you...
Science experiment.

Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America

  Last week we laughed and laughed at Rick Santorum, who really thinks Pope Francis needs to shut right up about climate science, because the pope, despite having studied chemistry, is not a scientist. Why focus on things like that,...