Tag: catholicism

This man knows malarky when he sees it

Watch Old Handsome Joe Biden Kick Sixteen Kinds Of Ass In His DNC Speech

Old Handsome Joe Biden delivered one fine Old Handsome Joe Biden speech at the DNC Wednesday. He's electric as ever.

Bill O’Reilly Discovers Damning Evidence That One Time Barack Obama Went To His Brother’s Wedding

Apparently this proves that Obama loves Islam too much to criticize terrorism.

Archbishop Steve King Lectures Pope On How To Catholic Good

Iowa congressmelon Steve King is a Catholic, and as a concerned member of the most strictly hierarchical religious institution on the planet, he'd like to take the opportunity to set Pope Francis straight about a few points of Catholic...

Antonin Scalia Tells Grads: Always Be Yourself, Unless You Are Hitler

Oh, Justice Scalia, what would the Supreme Court do without you? It's such a comfort to know that a brilliant, HILARIOUS legal mind like yours is adjudicating America's Most Important Questions. Scalia spoke at his grandbaby's high school graduation...
We *think* this is a tribute...

Vatican Decides El Salvador’s Archbishop Romero Died For Jesus, Not Marx

Big Catholic news: Archbishop Oscar Romero just might be a saint, even if he was a liberal. A panel of theologians that considers cases for sainthood has determined that when Romero was murdered by a rightwing death squad...
Holy nightmare fuel, Batman!

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition

Most of the news today is predictably awful, so we will just skim it, thank you. Good god, you people aren't actually relying on Yr Wonkette to be informed, are you? It looks like the government of...
Another good reason to use birth control

Catholic Mommy Bloggers Explain Why They Don’t Like Or Understand Birth Control

A couple weeks back, Buzzfeed posted photos of its employees explaining why they used birth control. It's a lot of the old, tired "I deserve a say in what happens to my body and my life," and "I take birth...

Pope Francis: Sure, We’ll Baptize E.T.

Pope Francis joked -- or so they want us to believe -- that he would happily welcome extraterrestrials into the Catholic Church. “If tomorrow, for example, an expedition of Martians arrives and some of them come to us … and...

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks With The Right Dynamic For the New Frontier

We told you last week that we were finished with the 1950s and moving into the '60s, and we are -- but by a quirk of editing, both of our history textbooks for the Christian school market have shoehorned...

Let’s All Blame The Gays For The Pope’s Retirement

Oh boy, here we go! This week may have started out all "slow-newsy-snoozey" but never fear, wonketteers! The fabulous ruby-slippered Pope's retirement has become embroiled in a scandal described with words like "seething hotbed of intrigue and infighting." What?...

Italian Priest to Women Everywhere: Stop Hitting Yourself

Welp, it has been over a month since we had to write about the Catholic Church or one of its constituent pieces being generally terrible. (Please to note this does not mean that they didn't DO anything terrible for...

Fun With Christianists: Things You Can Learn in a Christian ‘World History & Cultures’ Textbook (Part 2)

Welcome back to our exciting Sunday series of visits to the apocalyptic fever-dream that is Christianist America, as revealed through what kids learn in Christian-oriented textbooks. This week, we continue to loot and pillage World History and Cultures In...

What Will Be On/In Newt And Rick At Tonight’s Debate, For Ash Wednesday?

Reddit user "oldbean" asks the question that would have already been running through all of our heads, if we weren't such godless scum: Will Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have ash on their foreheads in tonight's debate? HUH. Good question!...

Santorum Not About To Have Obama’s Lady Priests Telling Him What To Do

Cadaverous walking smirk Rick Santorum must still be high on endorphins from Tuesday's surprise threesome in some meaningless/game-changing voting things. Having seen how turgid the prospects of Abortionplexes and FEMA-officiated gay marriage have been making conservative voters of late,...

Gingrich Spokesman Constantly Fiddling With Newt’s Wikipedia Page

The number one reason nobody likes pedantic swamp bubble Newt Gingrich is because of all the horrible things they are reading about him on his Wikipedia page, obviously. Why else would Newt campaign spokesman Joe DeSantis spend so much...

Tea Party Invades Catholic Church, Reinstitutes Witch Hunts

The Roman Catholic Church is not really known for its progressive tendencies, mostly because of that Nazi Pope and its other irrational hatreds, which are as innumerable as the number of angels that can dance on the head of...