Wonkette

• Heard on the Hill: Nancy Pelosi’s sixth grandkid arrived Monday. It’s a boy, named Muqtada al-Pelosi Vos… Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich) is a graduate of Collegehumor.com’s number one party/lazy pot-head school, Michigan State. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: BREAKING: Joe Lieberman and wife Hadassah ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY WENT TO BORAT. [WP]
• Examiner: Nancy Pelosi and Jane Harman don’t get along, spend a great deal of time at the Four Seasons. We wait with bated breath for hilarity to ensue… Greta Van Susteren is a moronic sycophant, but you knew that. [Examiner]
• Under the Dome: Senator-elect Sherrod Brown’s wife Connie Schultz will resume her newspaper column and write a book about the race… Loretta Sanchez’ much-anticipated Christmas card is coming soon… Immigrant-hater Mike Pence Mark Souder hired Indian telemarketers to phone for him, then complained about their cuh-raazy accents mangling his xenophobic message. [The Hill]

• Rush & Molloy: Diane Sawyer most demanding VIP in Martha’s Vineyard. Bill and Hillary Clinton appear everywhere at once. Newt Gingrich pitches Hillary-esque sit-com. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Hillary Clinton and Gail Sheehy catfight looms (first item). [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: Some guy from Wyoming trashes Ann Coulter (first item). [NYP]
• The Reliable Source: Ken Mehlman wants to share Bush’s b-day presents with all Republicans (second item). Karl Rove stares at the walls (third item). [WP]
• Liz Smith: President Bush a member of the “60 in ‘06″ club. Other members include Diane Sawyer, Liza Minnelli, and Cher. [NYP]

Oh, snap! Hell hath no fury like a woman scored! Or Ann Coulter, either:

Once considered a legitimate daily, the Post has been reduced to tabloid status best known for Page Six’s breathless accounts of Paris Hilton’s latest ruttings, and headlines like “Vampire Teen — H.S. Girl Is Out for Blood.” How crappy a newspaper is the Post? Let me put it this way: It’s New York’s second-crappiest paper.

Ohhh… I don’t think she’s talking about the Daily News, do you? But then she employs my favoritest defense of all, the “I don’t care, my publisher loves me more than yours does. So there” defense:

Maybe the Post’s constant harassment of me is an attempt to shake me down for protection money like they did with billionaire businessman Ron Burkle. I have sold a LOT of books — more books, come to think of it, than any writers at the New York Post.

Oh, oooooh, no she di’n't! I think there’s gonna be a big Coulter/Jared Paul Stern catfight any minute now. Believe me, hair will be pulled.
Top secret interview exposed! [Townhall]

MORE »

* Some light Friday reading from the only Kennedy that blogs. [Rolling Stone] MORE »

* This is how the world will end, not with a bang, but a clank, and the thump of a pneumatic hammer on an elevator. We’re relieved that no one was hurt, but it sure was exciting covering all the action. Er, whatever it is that passes for action. In the end, the biggest danger of the day was the risk of some soiled gabardine, but even that was averted. MORE »

We linked to the slideshow yesterday, but here’s the Czech Health Minister Smackdown video — subtitled, so you can pretend you’re watching an early Milos Forman film instead of two pasty government officials having a slapfight. MORE »

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached the end of the road in Congressional Catfight. The competition began two weeks ago, with eight tough contenders, who were later joined by five wild card entries. All in all, 13 fierce fighters. Only one could emerge victorious. MORE »

We’re about to close the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt, and it’s looking like curtains for Katherine. “Mean Jean” has a sizable lead at this late hour. MORE »

The polls are now open in the final round of Congressional Catfight: Katherine Harris versus Jean Schmidt. You can cast your vote by clicking here. MORE »

All good things must come to an end — and that includes Congressional Catfight. We’ve milked this competition for all it’s worth, and now it’s time to crown a victor. MORE »

Well, that was easy. We’ve had some really close calls here at Congressional Catfight, including one race that required a runoff. But this latest Catfight — a battle royal between five fighters, to determine who would take the wild card slot and face Katherine Harris — resulted in a decisive victory.

We threw five worthy contenders into the ring: Corrine Brown (D-FL), the “bat shit crazy” rep from the mean streets of Jacksonville’s North Side; Barbara Cubin (R-WY), the ex-cheerleader known for her “wack paranoia” and penis-shaped cookies; Tom Tancredo (R-CO), the immigration-obsessed nutjob; Bernie Sanders (I-VT), everyone’s favorite Vermont socialist; and Jean Schmidt (R-OH), the firearms-carrying, flag-jumpsuit-wearing, coward-calling congresswoman better known as “Mean Jean.”

The result? Jean Schmidt, in a landslide. “Mean Jean” received 60 percent of the vote — more votes than the other four competitors combined, and over three times as many as her nearest competitor, Tom Tancredo. Schmidt has scratched and clawed her way into the final round of Congressional Catfight. (For those of you who are curious, the full vote tally is available after the jump.)

Check back later today, when we’ll open the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt. We’re predicting a close and ugly battle between these two tough ladies of the House.

Earlier: Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot

MORE »

For those of you who are dying to learn the winner of Congressional Catfight — or who are tiring of the whole thing — worry not. The competition is nearing its end, and we’re now just one round away from crowning a winner. MORE »

Last week, we solicited your nominations for a wild card contender, to take take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi (polls closing soon; to vote, click here). You submitted lots of excellent nominations, by email and by comment, and we winnowed the field to five contenders.

Here’s the poll:

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

You may already know which one of these folks you’d like to vote for. But if you’re undecided and in need of more information, excerpts from nomination squibs appear after the jump.

MORE »