If you’ve got a spare ticket to Obama’s Election Night Party in Chicago, you are going to get more ass than a toilet seat. Possibly attractive people are offering full access to all their various orifices to any creep with the special currency of Tuesday Night at Grant Park. Join us for a lecherous tour of Chicago Craigslist offers and demands. MORE »

This Craigslist ad is so dull and bureaucratic that it might just be the real deal. Sadly, he’s smart enough to only solicit other “members” of Congress, so the outing potential is severely limited. MORE »

* Mardi Gras Ball weekend in DC. [hear and now]
* Chocolate and Dessert Wine tasting at Pearmund Cellars in Broad Run, VA. [Eat.Drink.DC]
* Free bike and size-9 roller blades. [CL]
* WSC Sauna MC: “You were the black guy with the tattoo on your upper back and a hard-on … I was the white guy without the tattoo … I moved to the corner and we made eye contact while listening to ‘i will always love you.’” [CL]
* After work fuck and suck party - m4m - 48 (just off 395 near pentagon) [CL]

* $350 for 30 minutes of your time. But you gotta know where Loudoun County is. [CraigsList]
* Pro-life protesters are fat kids. [The DC Universe]
* Dipshit blogs about being a grownup, walking for miles and miles in Paris and Rome. [A Portable Snack]
* Metro bitching. [S in the City]
* Metro compassion. [CraigsList]
* Expert ass “liker.” [CraigsList]

So the Longworth building was evacuated but it’s all better now and everybody’s back pretending to work. Some sort of alarm went off and everybody freaked out. Thanks, Capitol Police! Now we’re wondering if today’s incident is related to this Craigslist post:

6th Floor Men’s Room then 4th Floor - m4m - 35
Date: 2007-01-11, 2:09PM EST
Wednesday, Jan. 10, around 3:30 p.m. MORE »

As we’ve learned from countless softcore movies on Cinemax, housewives are invariably hot young things always ready to have sex with Think Tank geeks. Today’s totally Not Safe For Work ad on Craigslist is from an alleged 32-year-old housewife who wants to get nasty with “guys who work at the Heritage foundation or other conservative think tanks.” She(?) continues:

I know I will get some email of someone accusing this of being some scam but it really isnt, I just have a real fetish for intellectual conservatives. That said I’m looking to talk dirty online and if its good enough and we click maybe meet in person. Married move to the front of the line. Don’t bother if you dont meet my stipulations I will not answer you.

Sadly, she isn’t looking for a copy editor. MORE »

This morning’s Craigslist mailbag offers this gem: MORE »

Plans tonight? MORE »