Rudy Giuliani raised more money than all the other Republicans in the third quarter, which means he now has a zillion dollars less than Hillary Clinton and Barry Hussein. Oh, and John McCain raised $6 million. Good for him! The former front-runner and presumptive nominee raised $1 million more dollars than hilarious nutcase Ron Paul! Clearly McCain should spend less time on his bus to nowhere and more time rigging online polls. MORE »

Quarter 3 fundraising numbers are in and HILLARY CLINTON WON!!! She raised $27,000,000 and stupid lame Barack Obama only raised $22,000,000. Hooray democracy let’s just crown her now! And, like, only a couple of those dollars came from convicted felons! MORE »