By the Comics Curmudgeon
I will not lie to you: Sometimes political cartoons can be confusing! Especially for you, the unwashed masses, who never got any proper art education in school because your elected officials decided that Americans needed to know more about “science” and “math” and a bunch of poindextery stuff like that. Fortunately, your Wonkette provides to you, free of charge, explanations of some of the more obscure cartoons, straight from the typing fingers of the world’s only professional cartoon explainer. Join us after the jump, and prepare to be AMAZED AND ENLIGHTENED! MORE »

PRESIDENT OBAMA WON’T BE BUYING CARS FOR YOU WELFARE QUEENS ANYMORE: The “Cash for Clunkers” program is going to expire any day now, so you will just have to pay for your new Honda Fit all by yourself, like a man. This disastrously popular program just goes to show you why the government should not interfere in private industry — because Americans are just too addicted to free shit to bother paying for anything themselves anymore. [CBS News]

America may be a racist, illiterate nation of violent fucktards, but if there’s one thing the anti-socialist anti-welfare white trash love, it’s free money. So we can expect millions of U.S. losers to give up one of their favorite things to stuff in their mouths — dead chicken flesh coated in a few inches of corn syrup and oil batter — in hopes of getting communist free money from the liberals. Yes, PETA’s “Cash For Cluckers” program is on. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
People, have you seen the famous terrible violent movie this summer, where the Batman is yelling angrily at the robots who became sentient and killed us all? And then also the other similarly terrible movies about the robots that are also cars, and also self-aware? Well, what if something like that were to happen, except instead of awesome robot cars, they were POLITICAL CARTOONS? Obviously, it would be significantly less terrifying and box-office-tastic, and it would look a little something like THIS. MORE »

There may be some economic problems with cash-for-clunkers, like how it only subsidizes those who’ve purchased lousy, obnoxious automobiles in the past, but here is some strange NPR lady on the television dabbling in monstrosities: “Cash for Clunkers is like a mini-Katrina here. I mean it’s not good to start a program and not be able to execute it.” Hmm. We think she is confusing “a mini-Katrina” with “the Holocaust.” Try that out: “Cash for Clunkers is like the Holocaust here.” That’s better. [ThinkProgress]

Remember Judd Gregg, the New Hampshire RINO who accepted a top job in Barack Obama’s Politburo and then melodramatically refused to actually take the job, like some emotionally unstable goth teen? Well he is back, sort of! The grandstanding old cocksucker went on CNBC to bitch about “Cash for Clunkers,” a government rebate plan with broad bipartisan support and popular acclaim that accomplishes the neat trick of getting polluting old jalopies off the road while keeping the car companies alive during these last tough months of the Great Recession — because this brief and helpful program will obviously cause the United States to become a “banana republic in 10 years.” This is what Judd Gregg said, on teevee. MORE »