Tag Archives: cartoon violence

  guilty guilty guilty!

Stupidest Man On The Internet Fact-Checks ‘Doonesbury,’ A 1970s-Era Cartoon (Updated)

Update: As several alert commenters note, the Doonesbury strip that Jim Hoft is complaining about is a summer rerun. It originally ran on September 2, 2012, at which time the 111th Congress was still very much in session. So there you go: Not even the very minor “win” in Hoft’s fact-check turns out to be accurate. (Thanks to alert Wonkette Operatives Guppy, SolitaireRose, and Kid Zoom, who phoned us, giggling, after he finally saw the strip in yesterday’s paper.) Attention Internet! Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, has found a factual error in a comic strip! We’re not sure what’s more hilarious, Hoft’s glee at having scored an actual “gotcha” against an Icon of The Left, or his contention that Doonesbury making fun of — sorry, “attacking” — Republicans is somehow an artifact of “the Age of Obama.” Guess we’ll go with the basic hilarity that when Jim Hoft finally gets something right, it’s a quibble about an insignificant detail of phrasing, in what’s essentially a long-form editorial cartoon, and he treats it like the Investigative Reporting Coup of the Century. Read more on Stupidest Man On The Internet Fact-Checks ‘Doonesbury,’ A 1970s-Era Cartoon (Updated)…
  9/11 cartoons

New Mike Huckabee Cartoon Reveals True Story of Bush And 9/11 Terrorism

Excess skin collection bucket Mike Huckabee has been having a ball ever since he discovered how devastatingly cheaply Taiwanese animators are able to computer visualize his conservative evangelical sex fantasies. His library of cartoon videos is so far is mostly fantasia flavors of “Reagan + Jesus kill black muggers and Nazis,” which are all pretty typical, which means, eh, we probably saw this latest one coming, too: here is Mike Huckabee’s “9/11 sex dream” video, which he will share with all of you under the nominal pretense of educating your children about what “really happened” in Real American history. So, Mike, what “really happened” on 9/11? Were they devil space grasshoppers attacking the Twin Towers? Nancy Pelosi’s wigs? Let’s watch: Read more on New Mike Huckabee Cartoon Reveals True Story of Bush And 9/11 Terrorism…
  cartoon violence

People Are Screwing Animals

By the Comics CurmudgeonDid you know that right now, thanks to some extra-tasty crack that the Gays slipped to the members of the DC City Council, dudes are marrying other dudes in our nation’s capital, and ladies are marrying ladies? This has been happening for about five years, of course, but only in parts of the country like “Vermont” and “Iowa,” which don’t count and may not even exist. But now it’s happening right here in the seat of government! The city where our Founding Fathers gathered to sign the most important documents in our history — the Magna Carta, the Second Amendment, and the Contract With America! Read more on People Are Screwing Animals…
  joke and dagger dept.

Cartoon Violence Gets Old-Timey

By the Comics CurmudgeonAh, the good ol’ days! They were much better than our current existence, did you know that? Like, it was illegal for the President to be a Socialist! And also, people didn’t just filibuster things all the time, because they knew it was a douchebag move, so they saved it for really important stuff, like stopping black people from voting! Anyway, more and more Americans — and by “Americans” we mean “political cartoonists” — are looking back on the old days with fond memories, or perhaps memories of sheer unmitigated horror. It can be hard to tell! Read more on Cartoon Violence Gets Old-Timey…
  double dippers

Comics Curmudgeon Moonlights As Pharmaceutical Advertising Curmudgeon!

Look, our old friend Josh Fruhlinger has written a thing for “legitimate publication” Newsweek! It is a close reading of a zit ad of some sort, maybe? Click the clicky, comment generously, buy everything advertised everywhere on the site, and maybe he will write more things about zits. At the very least, he may be able to buy his wife and cat back from the pawn shop. [The Human Condition] Read more on Comics Curmudgeon Moonlights As Pharmaceutical Advertising Curmudgeon!…
  comics curmudgeon

WRONG WRONG WRONG

By the Comics Curmudgeon Look, one of the things we namby-pamby liberals get critiqued for is our inability to just stand up and show some moral courage, to say that some things are right and some are wrong. Usually we’re all like “Oh, there’s context” or “It’s society’s fault” or “Who are we to judge” or whatever. But sometimes, even the most consensus-addicted hippie has to take a stand. Today, your faithful Comics Curmudgeon will identify five cartoons that are simply incorrect. Read more on WRONG WRONG WRONG…
  cartoon violence

Worst Year Ever

By the Comics CurmudgeonWelcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the far-off futuristic year 2009! Though the rapidly aging 21st century has repeatedly failed to deliver on its promises — flying cars, domed cities on the moon and ocean floor, universal peace supervised by a one-world government, shiny jumpsuit-based couture, sex robots — we still begin each new year with a big dose of Hope! Except this one, obviously, because we’re all fucked. So, in our grand tradition of doing Christmas-themed Cartoon Violences a day after Christmas, enjoy this January 2nd meditation on how the new year will kill us all. Read more on Worst Year Ever…
  cartoon violence

Happy Hobo Christmas!

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, have you heard about the economies? Of course, your Wonkette staffers spend their days luxuriating in the well-appointed, mahogany-trimmed, Campbell Brown-subsidized Wonkette HQ, but we are given to understand that things in the outside world aren’t going so great, money-wise! In fact, this li’l economic downturn has even affected Christmas, a holy day of religious significance that nobody has ever previously connected to the vulgar machinations of commerce in any way. Cartoonists show you how bad it’s gotten, after the jump. Read more on Happy Hobo Christmas!…
 

The Sad Ballad Of George W. Bush

By the Comics Curmudgeon You know who we miss already, even though he’s not technically “gone” yet? Our President, George W. Bush! He was fun to draw and always getting into hilarious scrapes — like choking on a pretzel, remember that! And he liked to dance around for our amusement! With that kind of entertainment value, what’s a war crime or two between friends? Join us for a nostalgia-laden trip through the final days. Read more on The Sad Ballad Of George W. Bush…
  slackers

CALM DOWN NERDS: Famous person Josh Fruhlinger’s beloved “Cartoon Violence” will be back next week, and every week … starting next week. [Cartoon Violence]
 

High Art, Low Art

By the Comics Curmudgeon Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s still legitimate to mock and deride? Why, political cartoons, of course! Join in the hate, after the jump. Read more on High Art, Low Art…
  questionable programming choices

EXCITING LISTENING OPPORTUNITY FOR WONKETTE READERS! Those of you who have the XM satellite radio can listen to Wonkette’s own Comics Curmudgeon this afternoon! Read more on …
 

And It Was All A Dream … Or WAS IT?

By the Comics CurmudgeonThose of us who have been forced (either for vaguely professional reasons or by sheer cussed compulsion) to follow the presidential campaign over the past year or so might use a number of terms or phrases to describe it. “Dreamlike,” perhaps. “Nightmarish,” maybe. Or possibly, “A horrible, violent mescaline hallucination during which we begged God to kill us.” But did the candidates feel the same way? We have some evidence, in cartoon form, that maybe one of them did! Read more on And It Was All A Dream … Or WAS IT?…
 

Cast Your Vote For This Week’s Most Disturbing Cartoon

By the Comics CurmudgeonLet’s cut the chase: America’s political cartoonists are engaged in a vast, ink-stained conspiracy to hollow out our souls and leave us gibbering husks. Why do they hate us, and, by extension, hate freedom? This is not something that mere mortals can answer. What Lovecraftian horrors have they visited upon us this week? That’s much easier to determine: just check out the worst, after the jump. Read more on Cast Your Vote For This Week’s Most Disturbing Cartoon…
 

The Sad Ballad Of Hillary Clinton

By the Comics CurmudgeonIn the wake of her defeat in North Carolina, and her win in Indiana that wasn’t winny enough for most people’s tastes, Hillary Clinton now heads a campaign haunted by the lingering stench of death. The question is, has her nose been so damaged by snorting the metaphorical cocaine of white working class approbation that she can’t smell it? Check out America’s cartoonists’ take on the death march, after the jump. Read more on The Sad Ballad Of Hillary Clinton…
 

Grumpy Naked Elephant-Sexing Americans Aren’t Bitter

By the Comics CurmudgeonAmericans, we know you’re bitter! But if you read this site you’re probably a member of the chauffeured liberal elite, so I’m guessing you’re not really clinging to religion or guns. No, you’re doing those hillbillies one better: you’re actually clinging desperately to your own bitterness! More good reasons to seethe, after the jump. Read more on Grumpy Naked Elephant-Sexing Americans Aren’t Bitter…
 

Pennsylvania’s Cartoon Hangover

By the Comics CurmudgeonAre you tired of Pennsylvania primary news, now that it’s over? Ha ha, just kidding, obviously you were tired of it weeks and weeks before it even happened. Nevertheless, we feel that the following cartoons about America’s favorite “Keystone State” will help bring a sense of closure to this dark period in our lives, and get you ready for the next stage, which will involve wishing you never, ever heard the word “Indiana.” Read more on Pennsylvania’s Cartoon Hangover…
 

The Horrifyingly Bitter Cartooninated Week That Was

By the Comics Curmudgeon You may faithfully tune in daily to America’s favorite filthy-minded political blog, but I’m betting that you actually have very little idea about what’s going on in the so-called “news,” am I right? Sure, you could listen to the bloviation on broadcast TV or the high-pitched shrieking on cable, but that will kill your soul by degrees. Wouldn’t it be great if you could get a quick recap of the week’s important stories … in cartoon form? If you said “yes,” then today is your lucky day, my friend. Read more on The Horrifyingly Bitter Cartooninated Week That Was…
 

A Delightful Menagerie Of Economic Chaos

Do you understand how the economy works? Ha ha, of course you don’t. Nobody does! Our “robust economic system” is a dense network of horrifying gambles, pyramid schemes, and pure scams that were mostly made up on the fly for short-term gain so that somebody could cash out and move to some island safe from the eventual looting. Nevertheless, our noble political cartoonists have done their best to help you understand the anarchy that is destroying your retirement fund (such as it was): by portraying it as a series of adorable animals! See the poverty zoo, after the jump. Read more on A Delightful Menagerie Of Economic Chaos…
 

Nightmarish Horror Visions A-Go-Go

Americans! Do you feel that your politics do not supply you with adequate amounts of disturbing images? Do this and this not satisfy you in this regard? Are you some sort of masochistic sicko? Well, your political cartoonists are working to satisfy you. After the jump, what our politicians would look like to someone who’s just consumed some horrifying mixture of peyote and benzene. Read more on Nightmarish Horror Visions A-Go-Go…
 

I’m Swell, My Opponent Is A Necrophiliac/Hobo/Graceful Figure Skater

Hey, did you know that it’s only March? That’s right, you have another seven months of this stupid election to endure. Since it’s already gone on for eleventy billion months already, everything of remote substance has already been hashed out and forgotten, so now all we have time for are the wild accusations. And everyone knows wild accusations are more fun in cartoon form! Read more on I’m Swell, My Opponent Is A Necrophiliac/Hobo/Graceful Figure Skater…
 

Everyone’s A Whore

Are you tired of looking at pictures of prostitutes? Ha ha, liar! America’s political cartoonists have determined that hookers are an “In” visual icon these days, and, being shameless, have no shame about transforming many aspects of our beloved nation into whores for polemical purposes. Find out which abstract concepts you’d pay to fuck, after the jump. Read more on Everyone’s A Whore…