Tag: cartels

Hugh Hefner Will Let You Live In His Playboy Mansion Jizz House For $200 Million

Wouldn't it be nice to come home after a hard day running a drug cartel or being Beyoncé or ruining all of America because you're a Koch brother, and having meaningful chit-chats about life and boys and stuff, with...
Oh look, they are kissing. Bet they're about to do some "mission work" to each other's bathing suit areas.

Dumb Duggar Kids Admit Mission Trip Is Basically Sexxxy Beach Vacation For Jesus

YR WONKET CALLED IT, MUST CREDIT WONKET! You people out there in internet-ville think oh, Wonkette is such a gas, the way they make up silly stories about how Jill Duggar and her long lanky sex penis "Derick Dillard"...
Sexytime Jesus Vacation

Dumb Duggar Kids Will Refund Your ‘Missionary’ Donations If You Promise Not To Tell Jesus

We know very little about what Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband Meth-Eyes "Derick" Duggar Dillard have been doing in Central America, if that's even where they REALLY ARE. There has been much Intrigue! Are they really in El Salvador,...
Artistic rendering.

Mexico Rudely Refuses To Build Gold-Plated Border Fence For Donald Trump

Oh, southern Messican neighbor, why must you disappoint our Donald Trump so? First you send a new army of rapists to America to scare him EVERY DAMN DAY, and now you say you don't have any plans to pay...

A Story About Mexican Drug Violence Donald Trump Is Too Weak To Tell

Donald Trump has become persona non grata among decent people these days, because he said Mexican immigrants are "bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.” Sure, he allowed that some Mexicans are just the sweetest, except for the rape. Thursday, former...
This oughta be GOOD

Let’s Get Waco Biker Gangs To Shoot Up The Muslims, How About That?

It takes a special kind of mind to look at the madness of Sunday's Great Big Waco Biker Massacre and see an opportunity for directing all that hatred elsewhere, which is why we admire the ingenuity of this brilliant...

Oh Yeah, Mitt’s Mormon Mexican Cousin Thinks We Should Legalize It Also Too

And so Vice's foray to Me-hee-co, to the Mormons and the cartels, comes to an end. You guys loved it so much! Anything happen this time, besides a general wrap-up? YES. Mitt Romney's Mexico-born cousin Kelly Romney, who is...

Mitt Romney’s Mexican Mormon Cousin: Amnesty For Everyone!

Well, we are finally at Part Six of Vice's foray into the wilds of Me-hee-co, about the Mexican branch of Mitt Romney's family, and how they and the cartels are just totally kidnapping each other all the time, and...

Hey Why Are All These Mexican Mormons Drinking Tequila All The Time Anyway?

Does Mitt Romney secretly drink tequila? (No.) But his Mexican cousins do, in between getting kidnapped by the cartels and then "accidentally" shooting them, also too. In this installment of Vice's tour through the Mexican Mormon/cartel death match, the...

Mitt’s Mexican Family: In Which The Mormons Accidentally Start Shooting Up The Cartels

No beheadings again this time! We are beginning to think Vice frontloaded their seven-part series! Parts One, Two, and Three.

Watch Mexican Mormons Complain About Being Murdered All The Time Constantly By The Cartels

Time for your newest Vice video, Wonkers! There are four more before you are done forever. Which part will you whine about this time? (The hipster. You will whine about the hipster like you did in Part One and...

Mitt’s Mexican Family, Part Two: Homicidal Polygamist Goes On Blood Atonement Spree

Yesterday, when we brought you Part One of Vice's intrepid trip to Juarez to meet up with Mitt Romney's Mexican Mormon cousins fighting the cartels, a whole bunch of you were all "waaah we hate hipsters" and "waaah we...