Tag Archives: cartels

  ¡Dios Mío!

Mexico Rudely Refuses To Build Gold-Plated Border Fence For Donald Trump

Artistic rendering.
Artistic rendering, may not be to scale. Oh, southern Messican neighbor, why must you disappoint our Donald Trump so? First you send a new army of rapists to America to scare him EVERY DAMN DAY, and now you say you don’t have any plans to pay for a beautiful, classy border wall, and that’s unfair because Trump has been drawing plans for it on the backs of restaurant napkins and telling people about it for MONTHS. How could you do this to him, making him look stupid in front of the whole class? More stupid, we mean: Read more on Mexico Rudely Refuses To Build Gold-Plated Border Fence For Donald Trump…
  Wonkette movie review

A Story About Mexican Drug Violence Donald Trump Is Too Weak To Tell

Donald Trump has become persona non grata among decent people these days, because he said Mexican immigrants are “bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.” Sure, he allowed that some Mexicans are just the sweetest, except for the rape. Thursday, former Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer affirmed that she thinks Trump is completely right, that illegal immigration is out of control, and that the desert in Arizona is literally impassable these days, due to all the headless corpses. However, underneath xenophobic, racist, hateful, broad-brushing, nativist remarks like these, is there a grain of truth? Is there a story to be told here? Did you idiots even watch “Breaking Bad”? Read more on A Story About Mexican Drug Violence Donald Trump Is Too Weak To Tell…
  B Movie Plots Are Not Good Governance

Let’s Get Waco Biker Gangs To Shoot Up The Muslims, How About That?

This oughta be GOOD
It takes a special kind of mind to look at the madness of Sunday’s Great Big Waco Biker Massacre and see an opportunity for directing all that hatred elsewhere, which is why we admire the ingenuity of this brilliant idea from Sandy Rios, radio gabber for the American Patriarchy Association. Instead of just letting America’s outlaw biker gangs’ energy go to waste with internecine fighting, why not use the Magic Of Jesus to turn those bad boys to the right side of the law, and then let them direct their aggression toward some people who really need to be shot and stabbed and stuff, like drug dealers and jihadis? Read more on Let’s Get Waco Biker Gangs To Shoot Up The Muslims, How About That?…
  this is the end my only friend

Oh Yeah, Mitt’s Mormon Mexican Cousin Thinks We Should Legalize It Also Too

And so Vice’s foray to Me-hee-co, to the Mormons and the cartels, comes to an end. You guys loved it so much! Anything happen this time, besides a general wrap-up? YES. Mitt Romney’s Mexico-born cousin Kelly Romney, who is a terrible Christian, says to leeeegalize it. Read more on Oh Yeah, Mitt’s Mormon Mexican Cousin Thinks We Should Legalize It Also Too…
  typical mormon libtard

Mitt Romney’s Mexican Mormon Cousin: Amnesty For Everyone!

Well, we are finally at Part Six of Vice’s foray into the wilds of Me-hee-co, about the Mexican branch of Mitt Romney’s family, and how they and the cartels are just totally kidnapping each other all the time, and this part is really interesting! Why is it interesting when there hasn’t even been a beheading in four whole installments? Because Mitt’s cousin thinks there should be AMNESTY for illegal immigrants in the US, AND a guest worker program, and probably, like, food and shelter and not starving to death too! Sorry, Mitt Romney’s cousin, but obviously you are a terrible Christian. Read more on Mitt Romney’s Mexican Mormon Cousin: Amnesty For Everyone!…
  breaking: bad

Hey Why Are All These Mexican Mormons Drinking Tequila All The Time Anyway?

Does Mitt Romney secretly drink tequila? (No.) But his Mexican cousins do, in between getting kidnapped by the cartels and then “accidentally” shooting them, also too. In this installment of Vice’s tour through the Mexican Mormon/cartel death match, the Vice hipsters might get killed! (But they do not get killed.) Read more on Hey Why Are All These Mexican Mormons Drinking Tequila All The Time Anyway?…
  could use more cheech too

Watch Mexican Mormons Complain About Being Murdered All The Time Constantly By The Cartels

Time for your newest Vice video, Wonkers! There are four more before you are done forever. Which part will you whine about this time? (The hipster. You will whine about the hipster like you did in Part One and Part Two.) Read more on Watch Mexican Mormons Complain About Being Murdered All The Time Constantly By The Cartels…
  blood simple

Mitt’s Mexican Family, Part Two: Homicidal Polygamist Goes On Blood Atonement Spree

Yesterday, when we brought you Part One of Vice’s intrepid trip to Juarez to meet up with Mitt Romney’s Mexican Mormon cousins fighting the cartels, a whole bunch of you were all “waaah we hate hipsters” and “waaah we hate beheadings” and “waaah we are not going to watch this but are just going to complain about it instead!” Well, here is your second chance to bitch and kvetch, because it is Part Two, in which Vice’s chief hipster goes and explicates some homicidal Mexican Mormon’s “Blood Atonement” spree. Enjoy your bitching, Wonker bitches! (No beheadings in this one. Maybe tomorrow!) Read more on Mitt’s Mexican Family, Part Two: Homicidal Polygamist Goes On Blood Atonement Spree…