We do not understand why so many of you send us rabid, furious e-mails demanding that we post about the naked lady Carrie Prejean, who has nothing to do with politics, and brings out the worst behavior on both sides of the Culture Wars. But whatever, ha ha ha ha ha ha, she’s naked again: “Now a RadarOnline.com investigation has uncovered that there are SEVEN more ‘biggest mistakes’ of her life – all of them solo performances, just like the one sex tape that the religious beauty queen has admitted to. And there are 30 photos of Carrie, most topless, some showing everything, and most taken by Carrie using her reflection in a mirror.” [RADAR via Balloon Juice]

As Sarah Palin proved to a disgusted nation, you don’t need to know how to write or even read to get a book deal in End Times America. All you need to be is a disgraced former beauty contestant who hates the same fruits and coloreds as Red State America, where illiteracy is no barrier to buying, say, a Glenn Beck book at the Wal-Mart. What do you call a dumb bigot with big hair, high heels and a few pounds of makeup? How about America’s Next Top Author? MORE »

Jesus, who can even keep track of the idiots these days? There was that one, the new conservative sweetheart soft-porn boob-job-having local-yokel beauty queen, on the teevee, and Perez Hilton got her to say the queers can’t get married cuz Jebus hates homos, and then the nekkid pictures were revealed, and World Net Daily anointed her as the Holy Whore of Gay Bashing, and Donald Trump went bankrupt or something, and then Carrie Prejean finally got fired for “contract violations,” the end, we hope. [CNN/Perez Hilton]

You know why we have not written about this too much? Because number one, who gives a flying fuck what Miss California thinks about political “things.” And number two, any beauty pageant contestant who doesn’t have a boatload of topless photos in her closet is just not trying hard enough. Anyway Donald Trump, the owner of the Miss USA and the world’s wealthiest muskrat, determined that Carrie Prejean’s hawt pre-boob-job photos did not diminish her ability to attend ribbon-cuttings at county fairs and other important Miss California-related events. It is a sad day when Donald Trump is the sanest man on television. [USA Today]

BEAUTY PAGEANT POLITICS: “During an appearance last week with MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, Michael Musto jested that Miss California officials also paid for Carrie Prejean to ‘cut off her penis’ and likened her to Klaus Barbie, a Nazi war criminal believed to be responsible for up to 4,000 deaths.” [Fox News]