Tag: carly fiorina

America Heals Wounds By Agreeing That CNN’s Jeff Zucker Totally Sucks

Did CNN's coverage of the 2016 election suck, or did it REALLY suck?

This Election Tried To Kill Us, But We Are Not Dead We Don’t Think

We are still standing, and Hillary is standing, and now it's time to WIN A DAMN ELECTION.

Megyn Kelly Teaches Donald Trump’s Idiot Campaign Manager How Campaigns Work

It's NOT FAIR how Hillary keeps bringing up the terrible things Trump says about women, just because he says terrible things about women.

Hey, Remember That Time Meghan McCain Begged Donald Trump For A Job?

The Meghan McCain of 2016 is taking her toys and going home or something, GRRRRR SHE IS MAD.

‘Pro-Life’ Asswipes Are Inside Your iPhone, Begging You Not To ‘Bort Your Baby

Hey look, a whole new level of doxxing!

Ted Cruz’s Stupid Face Punchable Even When He’s Crying

Ted Cruz mimics human emotion. It doesn't go well.
Nothin's gonna stop him now... oh, shoot.

Poor Forgotten Jim Gilmore (Who?) Can’t Even Be GOP Convention Delegate, Awwww

You may remember former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore, who was, at least on paper, an actual Republican candidate for president longer than Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Rick Santorum, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, George Pataki (who?), Lindsay Graham, Bobby Jindal,...

Donald Trump Takes Firm Stand Against China Raping Us (Because That Is Mexico’s Job)

At a campaign rally in Fort Wayne, Indiana, on Sunday, Donald Trump forcefully described China's trade relationship with the USA as an act of sexual violence: "Don't forget. We're like the piggybank that's being robbed. We have the cards. We...

Donald Trump Sad He Can’t Play Fancy Woman Card™, Hypnotize Voters With His Vagina

'I think the only thing she has got going is she’s a woman,' Trump told Matt Lauer on the Today Show.

Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Already Lying For ‘Running Mate’ Ted Cruz

Carly Fiorina is doing that thing again, the thing that always happens when she opens her mouth. Yes, she is lying! But what things is she saying so far, now that she is Ted Cruz's "running mate" who will...

Ted Cruz Reminds ‘Running Mate’ Carly Fiorina People Think She Is Ugly :(

Ted Cruz has announced that yes indeed, he has chosen America's new mommy, and it is Carly Fiorina! As we write, he is STILL FUCKING TALKING 30 MINUTES LATER, and ... BREAKING! It seems that Carly Fiorina is actually...

Is Ted Cruz Giving Us A New Mommy, America?

Ted Cruz is making a very sexy announcement today, America! Nobody knows what it will be except all the people who say it will be Ted Cruz announcing his "running mate," who will be his "vice president," when he...

Harriet Tubman To Grace New $20 Bill, Because Suck It Andrew Jackson

Remember that GOP debate yea however many moons ago, when all the millionteen candidates were asked what American lady they thought would be real sexy for the $10 bill? It was pathetic! They all copied each other and said...

Donald Trump Had Some Opinions On His One-Year-Old Daughter’s Tits, Because Obviously

Ew. Ew. Ew! Why do we warm up food and then look at Twitter? So, that new "Daily Show" host Trevor Noah decided to do a happy nice time segment about how the one position Donald J. Trump has never...