WASHINGTON, DC, 5:15 PM, TUE MAY 13 | 23 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged “Carla Bruni”

dept. of suspicious bulges

Is Carla Bruni Knocked Up Again?


Here is a photo of France's new First Lady arriving in England with her midget husband. Her outfit speaks diplomatic volumes: flats, so as not to tower over M. Sarkozy; modest tweed, so as to remind Camilla of her youth back in the Depression. (In turn, Camilla wears a trashy befeathered nightmare hat because she is a tart.) But the real question is, why would a rail-thin former model be sporting a little belly pooch? We smell shotgun wedding. [The Sun]

3:10 PM on Wed Mar 26 2008
By saraksmith
7,236 views, 57 comments

Latest by 102415: @TGY: It doesn't matter what dirty dead things Camilla puts on her head because she'll never be you know who.@lovelyivy:Another influx of asswipe tools and trolls has arrived. As a person who's randomly had my head bashed in by a more »

bargains

Old People Without Internet Access Pay $3,000 For Naked Picture Of Carla Bruni

French "first lady" Carla Bruni made her living by being photographed partially or completely naked for 20 years, so nude photographs of the supermodel/singer are extremely rare. There are only 32,800 such images currently available for free on the Internets, which is why lonely old Englishmen are expected to bid up to £2,000 ($1 billion U.S.) for this old picture of Naked Carla Bruni, which also appears in the Telegraph article about the auction. Christie's will next auction an exclusive image of "LOLcats" for £100 Zillion. [Telegraph]

2:25 PM on Tue Mar 25 2008
By Ken Layne
2,259 views, 19 comments

Latest by HelloSunshine: I notice the file name of the picture on the Telegraph site is "nsarko625.jpg". Assuming the N stands for "nude", does this mean the paper has 624 other, similar images on file? more »

BUT WHAT DOES THE NEW MRS. FRENCH PRESIDENT LOOK LIKE NAKED? (Not safe for Evangelicals, unless they want to say “Dear God” to a picture of a naked woman.) Here she is, Carla Bruni, songwriter and supermodel and likely new wife of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, along with an article about how she freaked out a UK journalist by answering the door topless. [Daily Mail]

23 comments

le foetus

France's First Girlfriend: Pregnant, Or Did She Eat One Grape?

Serious political sites everywhere are presenting this political photograph so that readers might help solve this great political mystery: Is French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s girlfriend, model and songwriter Carla Bruni, pregnant from Sarkozy’s center-right sperm? Or did she just have a small bit of food recently? [Huffington Post]

5:44 PM on Mon Jan 21 2008
By KLayne
2,913 views, 22 comments

c'est la vie

You Never Listened to Me

You know, what, Nick? Screw you. I’ve tried to be your friend, but you never call back or reply to my emails and you sent lackeys to enforce the restraining order and it’s just not cool. You want to marry her in a secret ceremony and then jet off to Saudi Arabia? Whatevs. She’s getting what she deserves if you’re spending your “honeymoon” apart and she’s been dating you barely a month. I mean, i thought the French practically invented le préservatif, so you think you’d know how to use one. I’m through obsessing now. Have a great life. [Yahoo News]

3:56 PM on Mon Jan 14 2008
By megancarpentier
829 views, 28 comments

Latest by sarahbm: I find him kind of hot, and it disturbs me immensely. more »

SUB-HUMAN FREAKS: “French Use Happiness As Economic Measure.” [WTOP/AP]

26 comments

my former crush

How Do You Say "Rebound" in French?

Um, seriously, kids, I know you’re French, but you’ve been dating, what, a month? And you’re getting married in another month? This screams bad idea. I mean, are your approval ratings so low that you have to marry your girlfriend to get them back up again? What, again, is the purpose of being the President of France if you can’t play the field a bit after your divorce? Also, I am not asking these things because I am jealous. I’m not even a little bit jealous (though, if you had said you date blondes but marry brunettes, I could have done something about that). [Yahoo News]

9:30 AM on Mon Jan 7 2008
By megancarpentier
1,003 views, 35 comments

Latest by jtrois: Sarko "le nain", je comprends encore (elle est si jolie) mais elle, elle est folle ou quoi? Se marier avec un con pareil!?!?? Le surnom du couple (let's begin a nickname competition right now!): 1) La belle et la bête (The more »

my former crush

Carla, Honey, Watch Out!

Hey, Carla, I know we’ve never really talked. I don’t want you to think I’m one of those exes who is all jealous of the new woman, and you’re at least the second one since Nick and I called it quits. But, seriously, honey, all the Egyptian vacations in the world might not be able to make this particular guy be faithful right now. I mean, he seems like he’s lining them up pretty far in advance, if the following picture is any guide. More »

5:18 PM on Wed Dec 26 2007
By megancarpentier
2,922 views, 24 comments

Latest by gurukalehuru: @Mr. Guy I must admit, you've got me there. The only one on the list I've tried is Sam Adams. My 5 year old is named Samuel Adam. People think it's because of the beer but more »

my former crush

Nick, Stop Slutting It Up

Look, babe, I know it’s hard to go through a divorce and then watch a catch like me move on with her life without you. We’ve talked about it before, and I’ve tried to be cool. But, seriously, you need to stop acting like a horny 15 year-old. First it’s private dinners with that TV lady, then it’s that horrid flirtation with that greasy Libyan, and now you’re cavorting around Euro Disney with Carla Bruni? With your kids in tow (a total no-no for the divorced dad if you’re not serious)? And then, this morning, you’re all touching Condi in a way that obviously makes her uncomfortable? Nick, honey, you’re the head of state of France. Take a deep breath, and stop trying to fuck everything that moves. It’s getting a little embarrassing being associated with you. [Yahoo News]

11:42 AM on Mon Dec 17 2007
By megancarpentier
1,176 views, 38 comments

Latest by Zhubajie: "Nick, honey, you're the head of state of France. Take a deep breath, and stop trying to fuck everything that moves." It's probably a requirement. Zhu Bajie more »