Tag Archives: carl levin

  Try Not To Be Too Shocked OK?

Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought

Imagine that.
As we’ve mentioned once or twenty times, the Pentagon has a bit of a problem with rape. Just how bad a problem with rape? Hard to say — a 2013 Defense Department report estimated that about 26,000 members of the military were raped in 2012. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand has been trying to find out more about how the Pentagon deals with sexual assaults, so last year she asked the DoD for files on sexual assault at each of the four major services’ largest bases from 2009 to 2013. After dragging its feet forever, the Pentagon finally gave her 107 case files — from one year only, 2013. And even that limited information turned up a far greater problem with sexual assault in the military than the Pentagon has been willing to acknowledge, according to Gillibrand’s report on the files, released late last week. Read more on Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought…
  Darrell Issa Sucks

More Proof That IRSgate Was F***ing Stupid

It’s Throwback Thursday Friday here at Wonkette, so let’s check in on one of our favorite scandal-not-scandals of last year, IRSgate. In the latest news, it turns out that the special inspector guy in charge of investigating the IRS, the guy whose report started this whole media circus, is a TOTAL PARTISAN HACK WHAT SUCKS AT HIS JERB: Read more on More Proof That IRSgate Was F***ing Stupid…
  taxes are for little people

Apple’s iTax: Think Different

Corporations are people, my friend — only a very SPECIAL kind of people who are above vulgar affairs like, say, paying taxes, or being held accountable. This is why it’s not illegal for Incorporated Americans to evade avoid taxes, even if they are posting record profits, and also, because making corporations pay taxes is like class warfare, which, while not illegal, is un-American. This is why Apple, lord and master of the free market and captain of the laptop, did not do anything illegal by evading avoiding taxes using a complicated “web of lies tax shelters.” From the New York Times:  Even as Apple became the nation’s most profitable technology company, it avoided billions in taxes in the United States and around the world through a web of subsidiaries so complex it spanned continents and went beyond anything most experts had ever seen, Congressional investigators disclosed on Monday. […] Congressional investigators found that some of Apple’s subsidiaries had no employees and were largely run by top officials from the company’s headquarters in Cupertino, Calif. But by officially locating them in places like Ireland, Apple was able to, in effect, make them stateless — exempt from taxes, record-keeping laws and the need for the subsidiaries to even file tax returns anywhere in the world. Read more on Apple’s iTax: Think Different…
  they just keep coming and coming and

Because There Are So Many, Another Romney, One ‘Ronna Romney,’ May Run For Carl Levin’s Senate Seat

When Sen. Carl Levin announced he wasn’t running for re-election in 2014, he didn’t just retire with class, befitting his distinguished record of public service, but he also gave this nation a great gift: Nearly two years of speculation about Michigan’s 2014 Senate race. It came not a moment too soon because America was quickly tiring of increasingly monotonous Ashley Judd Senate buzz. Thankfully, the Levin retirement means several months of idle speculation about who’s running to replace him. The likely front-runners are Reps. Gary Peters (D) and Mike Rogers (R), and while it might be tempting to leave it there until the campaign begins for real next summer, or at least until people actually announce they’re really running, that would be economically irresponsible. Can you imagine the economic devastation if we just stopped caring about the artificial endless campaign? Jobs would be lost, and not only at Politico and the cable news networks. Think of the dry cleaners and bartenders and other workers who might suffer because the now-unemployable Mike Allens of the world would be reduced to wearing sweats and drinking Night Train from the bottle. Is that the change you promised, NOBAMA? Thankfully America is an exceptional nation with exceptionally intense campaign reporting. This is why Yr Wonket can tell you that while Brother of Mitt “Scott” Romney will not run for Levin’s seat, his daughter Ronna Romney McDaniel “maybe” will run. That’s how they do. You stop one Romney and they’ll throw like 14 more right at you. Read more on Because There Are So Many, Another Romney, One ‘Ronna Romney,’ May Run For Carl Levin’s Senate Seat…
  and many happy returns

Whatever, Mitt Romney, It Is Your Birthday, Now Go Suck An Egg

Whatever, Mittens Romney, it is your birthday and nobody cares. But is there someone who might ease the burden of the nation’s hatred of you, by taking that burden himself? Someone who shares your X and your Y? A brother? America does love its horrible brothers, and by love, of course, we mean despise. Oh yes, there is some guy, “Scott” apparently, and how bad does he have to be if we never heard of him even once in your abysmal campaign? As bad as Neilsy? He is probably as bad as Neilsy. And now he is thinking, maybe, that the US Senate seat held by Michigan’s Carl Levin might be just the right height. Read more on Whatever, Mitt Romney, It Is Your Birthday, Now Go Suck An Egg…
  the way we were

Let’s All Watch Retiring Sen. Carl Levin Yelling At Bankers Before It Was Cool

Six-term U.S. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) announced today he’ll retire when his term ends in 2014. The professorial/grandfatherly senator was known for rumpled suits, huge combover, glasses tenuously perched on the edge of his nose, and dragging the banking industry’s worst dreck before a committee hearing to tear them new assholes. While other senators (LIZ WARREN LIBEL) were busy not doing anything because what’s the point if you can’t get 59 friends to do it with you, Levin used his position as Chairman of the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations to bring the thunder down on Wall Street. America will be a lesser place without Levin’s unmitigated contempt for the shaved and fumigated conmen who nearly destroyed the American economy. So let us take this moment to remember some of Sen. Levin’s finest moments yelling at banksters. Read more on Let’s All Watch Retiring Sen. Carl Levin Yelling At Bankers Before It Was Cool…
  bad boys bad boys

Breaking: Goldman Sachs Did Not Break Any of Those Laws It Wrote

Good news, bankers! Our long national nightmare of no accountability and massive golden parachutes is behind us so let there be champagne, caviar, and get out of jail free cards for all because the entire financial crisis is forgiven and we can all go back to blaming Poors and Political Correctness for causing the housing crash and subsequent recession, or as we like to call it “the new normal.” This development, of course, is TOTALLY shocking and unexpected and no one saw this coming. Read more on Breaking: Goldman Sachs Did Not Break Any of Those Laws It Wrote…
  civil liberties say what

Running Low On New Wars, Senate Declares U.S. Soil Latest ‘Battlefield’

Good news, everyone! Ever since launching major foreign invasions got a little too expensive and pointless (mostly expensive) even for Congress, and Times Are Tough, our nations’ lawmakers have decided to start “focusing on the domestic issues” like everyone keeps asking them to do, ad nauseum. But since it is impossible for Congress to agree any piece of legislation relating to actual domestic issues like, say, rising poverty, they’ve defaulted back to their only known area of total agreement, “permanent war.” So here’s an idea, what if there were a way to just combine the two? Oooh, the Senate likey: yesterday they passed a bill effectively declaring the United States its own shiny new warzone that would codify the military’s power to hunt on its own soil for anyone — foreign national or American citizen — that they determine meets the vaguely-worded criteria of being “a participant in the course of planning or carrying out an attack or attempted attack against the United States” and ship them off to an internment camp to rot away without trial, forever. Will Bradley Manning finally get some company from his fellow citizens? Read more on Running Low On New Wars, Senate Declares U.S. Soil Latest ‘Battlefield’…
  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: In the Muslin Fashion

The Cordoba Victory Party Mosque continued to inspire America’s best passions all over our xenophobic idiot-state, even after our own Muslim president cowardly came out in favor of its “constitutional” right to exist. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: In the Muslin Fashion…
  pie slide or pie chair?

Carl Levin Hit By Muslin Pie

Sen. Carl Levin was holding a question-and-answer session in Big Rapids, Michigan today when an anti-war protester hit him with a pie. We’ve been scouring the Internet for a photo of this funny turning point in the history of American aggression, but the best we could come up with is this accurate Blingee re-enactment. Read more on Carl Levin Hit By Muslin Pie…
  heroic custodians of global wealth

Here Is Your Consensus ‘Good YouTube Clip’ From The Goldman Hearing

Have you been watching the important Goldman Sachs hearing in John McCain’s Senate all day? Oh shutup, you clearly do not have a job. Here’s the “most bloggable” clip thus far, of Carl Levin, who is old and great, maybe. Read more on Here Is Your Consensus ‘Good YouTube Clip’ From The Goldman Hearing…
  yelling monsters

Teabaggers Scream Pledge Of Allegiance At Tiny, Fleeing Figure Of Carl Levin

Think Progress has a pretty good roundup of angry wingnuts attempting to harass their elected legislators to death over healthcare, but this clip is particularly entertaining. What is it with these creeps and the Pledge of Allegiance? (Answer: it is the only piece of “poetry” they know besides the dosage directions on their diabeetus meds.) [Think Progress] Read more on Teabaggers Scream Pledge Of Allegiance At Tiny, Fleeing Figure Of Carl Levin…
 

NO THEY CAN’T: NO NEW PRIMARY FOR MICHIGAN: So the Michigan Democratic state leadership and Carl Levin didn’t agree on whatever and now Hillary can’t have another Michigan primary, so … Obama wins, somehow, even though she won the pretend primary? Anyway, hooray Michigan! We hear you! So, no re-do in Florida or Michigan. This thing may end by 2037 after all. [Politico/Election Geek] Read more on …
 

Levin Joins Anti-Maliki Bandwagon

Senate Armed Forces Committee chairman Carl Levin just took a three-day trip to Iraq and Jordan and he’s come back convinced that we need to have our CIA overthrow and perhaps assassinate Nouri al-Malki, the comically incompetent Prime Minister of our little experiment in Mesopotamia. Read more on Levin Joins Anti-Maliki Bandwagon…
 

Tough S.O.B.s

This week, Dave Chapelle, Carl Levin, Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, Grover Norquist, Margaret Spellings, Ann Gillespie, Rusty, Chris Matthews and Masi Oka were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. Read more on Tough S.O.B.s…
 

Mucho Trabajo

This week, Carl Levin, Elizabeth Kucinich, Ted Koppel, Russ Feingold, George Tenet, Sam Brownback, and Dennis Kucinich were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. Read more on Mucho Trabajo…