December 13, 2013
Corporations are people, my friend — only a very SPECIAL kind of people who are above vulgar affairs like, say, paying taxes, or being held accountable. This is why it’s not illegal for Incorporated Americans to evade avoid taxes, even if they are posting record profits, and also, because making corporations pay taxes is like class [...]
When Sen. Carl Levin announced he wasn’t running for re-election in 2014, he didn’t just retire with class, befitting his distinguished record of public service, but he also gave this nation a great gift: Nearly two years of speculation about Michigan’s 2014 Senate race. It came not a moment too soon because America was quickly [...]
Whatever, Mittens Romney, it is your birthday and nobody cares. But is there someone who might ease the burden of the nation’s hatred of you, by taking that burden himself? Someone who shares your X and your Y? A brother? America does love its horrible brothers, and by love, of course, we mean despise. Oh [...]
Six-term U.S. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) announced today he’ll retire when his term ends in 2014. The professorial/grandfatherly senator was known for rumpled suits, huge combover, glasses tenuously perched on the edge of his nose, and dragging the banking industry’s worst dreck before a committee hearing to tear them new assholes. While other senators (LIZ [...]
Good news, bankers! Our long national nightmare of no accountability and massive golden parachutes is behind us so let there be champagne, caviar, and get out of jail free cards for all because the entire financial crisis is forgiven and we can all go back to blaming Poors and Political Correctness for causing the housing [...]
Good news, everyone! Ever since launching major foreign invasions got a little too expensive and pointless (mostly expensive) even for Congress, and Times Are Tough, our nations’ lawmakers have decided to start “focusing on the domestic issues” like everyone keeps asking them to do, ad nauseum. But since it is impossible for Congress to agree [...]
The Cordoba Victory Party Mosque continued to inspire America’s best passions all over our xenophobic idiot-state, even after our own Muslim president cowardly came out in favor of its “constitutional” right to exist. Famous clown/Senator Carl Levin got smacked in the face with a Cordoba pie. A man whose name supposedly means “a frothy mixture [...]
Sen. Carl Levin was holding a question-and-answer session in Big Rapids, Michigan today when an anti-war protester hit him with a pie. We’ve been scouring the Internet for a photo of this funny turning point in the history of American aggression, but the best we could come up with is this accurate Blingee re-enactment.
Have you been watching the important Goldman Sachs hearing in John McCain’s Senate all day? Oh shutup, you clearly do not have a job. Here’s the “most bloggable” clip thus far, of Carl Levin, who is old and great, maybe.