Wonkette

NO THEY CAN’T: NO NEW PRIMARY FOR MICHIGAN: So the Michigan Democratic state leadership and Carl Levin didn’t agree on whatever and now Hillary can’t have another Michigan primary, so … Obama wins, somehow, even though she won the pretend primary? Anyway, hooray Michigan! We hear you! So, no re-do in Florida or Michigan. This thing may end by 2037 after all. [Politico/Election Geek]

Senate Armed Forces Committee chairman Carl Levin just took a three-day trip to Iraq and Jordan and he’s come back convinced that we need to have our CIA overthrow and perhaps assassinate Nouri al-Malki, the comically incompetent Prime Minister of our little experiment in Mesopotamia. MORE »

This week, Dave Chapelle, Carl Levin, Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, Grover Norquist, Margaret Spellings, Ann Gillespie, Rusty, Chris Matthews and Masi Oka were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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This week, Carl Levin, Elizabeth Kucinich, Ted Koppel, Russ Feingold, George Tenet, Sam Brownback, and Dennis Kucinich were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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* Rudy G. thinks strong early poll numbers mean he gets to play Ronald Reagan. [Captain's Quarters]
* Walnuts McCain deletes his MySpace page, wants to focus on meeting friends IRL. [techPresident]
* Carl “the contrarian” Levin just wants to invade Syria cause everyone else wants Iran. [QandO]
* Bono likes Obama — surprise fucking surprise. [Shenanigans]
* Turning an MS Office document into a .pdf can turn you from a broke cube-jockey to a baller. [Swampland]
* Do explosions in the night make Dick Cheney wet himself, or just wet? [Rude Pundit]
* Lieberman gets lucky, Politico gets sloppy. [Horse's Mouth]
* Drop fifty-grand on a cause as worthy as smearing John Kerry and all you get is a lousy ambassadorship to Belgium. [HuffPo]

* White House shake-up is directed at the midterm elections; Bolten is following a five-point plan that includes an “extremely visible enforcement crackdown at the Mexican border.” Bush advisor: “If we don’t keep Congress, there won’t be a legacy.” [Time]
* Osama Bin Laden releases new audio tape; analyst says intention is to provide a global posture for al Qaeda: “Bin Laden is a master craftsman at recognizing issues and knowing how to exploit these issues for his own purposes. He’s trying to enlarge the global conflict and is trying to incite and anger the Muslim world against the West.” [WP]
* Eight American troops have been killed over the past two days in Iraq; April will likely be the deadliest month this year. [AP]
* West Wing is said to feel “really weird right now” because “people are worried about their jobs,” says a senior official; aides “are on edge.” Mark McKinnon: “Karl has more bandwidth than anyone on the planet, but with the elections coming up, we have to make sure he has the time to concentrate on the big message.” Nicole Wallace on Bolten: “It was nice to cut right to the chase. He set a very honest and direct tone. It was kind of, ‘We’re going to get through all this together, and we need to step it up.’” [Newsweek, NYT]
* White turnout in the New Orleans mayoral election was double the norm; Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu could be the city’s first white mayor in nearly three decades. [NYT, WP]
* CIA is cracking down on leaks by subjecting dozens of employees to polygraph tests; top Democrats suggest a double standard exists about leaking for political purposes. [NYT, WP]
* Los Angeles Times editorial board calls for Bush to boot Cheney: “Having changed his tune, the president should also think about changing the company he keeps — big time, as Dick Cheney would say.” [LAT]

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* Disapproval of Bush could drive a rejection of Republican candidates in November. GOP pollster: “Democrats will have an easier time of getting out their vote because of their intense disapproval of the president. That means we Republicans are going to have to bring our ‘A’ turnout game in November.” [WP]
* Rumsfeld’s “grip on the Defense Department is slipping as some uniformed officers increasingly chart their own course.” [W$J]
* Republicans back Rumsfeld on Sunday talk shows. [NYT, USAT]
* 48 American troops have died in Iraq so far this month. [USAT]
* If Roe were overturned, 22 states are likely to “impose significant new restrictions on abortion.” [USAT]
* Josh Bolten officially takes office today; he gave Andy Card an Egg McMuffin on his way out. [USAT]
* Time magazine names Sens. Thad Cochran, Kent Conrad, Dick Durbin, Ted Kennedy, Jon Kyl, Carl Levin, Richard Lugar, John McCain, Olympia Snowe, and Arlen Specter as the nation’s best; Sens. Daniel Akaka, Wayne Allard, Jim Bunning, Conrad Burns, and Mark Dayton considered the worst. [Time]
* Immigration rallies “have also energized those who support a crackdown on illegal immigration.” [NYT]
* Can Rep. Tom DeLay be a lobbyist next? [WP]
* Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) brings sadness to Washington state in an effort to take down Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.). [WP]
* Supreme Court justices spark laughter just from speaking funny. [USAT]

As you may have heard in our Morning Roundup, the seven member subgroup of the Senate Intelligence Committee received their first White House briefing on the Bush’s domestic wiretapping nonsense. The Washington Post article on the briefing contained one section that immediately gave us a case of the WTFs.

Members of the Senate subcommittee — which, along with Roberts and Rockefeller, includes Republicans Mike DeWine (Ohio), Orrin G. Hatch (Utah) and Christopher S. Bond (Mo.) and Democrats Carl M. Levin (Mich.) and Dianne Feinstein (Calif.) — will not be able to share what they learn with the other eight members of the intelligence panel, according to rules the White House has proposed.

That is the foofiest fucking idea we’ve ever heard! How can a debate about intelligence priorities take place if the entire committee isn’t on an equal footing? Are the non-committee members going to have to sit in smaller chairs, too?

Here is how we imagine the future of the Senate Intelligence Committee:

[sorry, only super special Wonketteers can read after the jump]

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Last week’s guessing game involved the anonymous sources quoted in Jane Mayer’s New Yorker article about Alberto J. Mora and the stand he took against torture. Earlier today, we shared some guesses with you about two of the three sources mentioned. This item remains outstanding: MORE »

• In 1985, Alito “wrote that ‘the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion,’ declared his firm opposition to certain affirmative action programs, and strongly endorsed a government role in ‘protecting traditional values.’” [WP, NYT, LAT, WT, USAT]
• Graham (R-S.C.) and Levin (D-Mich.) achieve passable compromise on treatment of detainees; McCain’s amendment will likely be included. [WP]
• Frist (R-Tenn.) and Warner (R-VA) want increased accountability of the administration’s Iraq policy; proposal calls for quarterly updates. [NYT, WT]
• GAO finds political manipulation of the FDA’s decision on the morning-after pill. [WP, NYT, LAT, WT]
• Bush continually shadowed by questions about pre-war intelligence. [NYT]
• Approval of Bush slips to 37% in USAT/Gallup poll, a new low; Republicans losing faith in the president. [USAT]
• Rice delays departure from Israel, citing “progress” in talks between Israel and Palestine. [WP]
• Bush heads to Asia seeking to influence the region and escape domestic woes; says Democrats are “playing politics” by criticizing the war. [WP, LAT]

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