caption contests

We have decided not to start off this post by reminding you how terrible you all are at caption contests. Negative reinforcements like that, for instance, would be a bad way to get your child to be able to read more gooder, or your husband to stop being a total dick. It’s just that we […]

Yes it’s from a few days ago (from the Time 100 gala, the one where Rush Limbaugh thought Old Handsome Joe was drunk because he said Americans were resilient), but jesus how boring is today’s news?

This morning, we brought you news of Paul Ryan/Newt Gingrich/Mitt Romney threeway victim and utter creepazoid Adam Savader, and how we (ahem) he was (ALLEGEDLY) sextorting all the pretty girls by hacking their nakey selfies and then threatening to release the pictures of their “tits” and “pussies” to their parents, the RNC, their internships, and […]

Here are Barack Obama and Mitt Romney made of beef jerky.

Tupper Romney tweets this photo of Mitt and Ann Romney on a boat. For some reason, His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney — who is objectively a handsome man — always looks super gross and greasy when he’s on vacation at “Lake Winni.” Here they look like nothing so much as a really sweaty […]

Hey y’all, it’s not that you didn’t do a swell job on yesterday’s caption contest, except that you kind of didn’t. But we didn’t either, so who can blame you! Let us try again. Here is Paul Ryan, with something that he presumably murdered. That should be easier, don’t you think? Have at it. [FoxNews]

The fine people at Videogum have been keeping track of the various Mr. Cool Disguises ever since Charlie Sheen (who else?) invented the Cool Disguise. And now here, courtesy of Buzzfeed, is Paul Ryan, circumventing the press before the Romney campaign leaked his human identity all over Twitter. (Because they are bad at campaigning.)

What’s that? Is Sarah Palin reading newspapers now? Haha, no, she’s just retweeting the Weekly Standard again. But hey, we actually agree with her! The Washington Post is terrible! But it’s not “through” yet; it makes a lot of money gouging the government with its Kaplan brand of fake colleges and gouging rich parents with […]