Tag Archives: caption contests

  look at these fucking white men

Caption Contest? Or Face-Punching Contest? You Decide!

We have decided not to start off this post by reminding you how terrible you all are at caption contests. Negative reinforcements like that, for instance, would be a bad way to get your child to be able to read more gooder, or your husband to stop being a total dick. It’s just that we are always so surprised at how terrible you are at caption contests! You are the funniest, bestest, most terrible Terrible Ones in the whole wide Internet — you are funnier than we are, and we’re fucking hilarious! So we will not do that. Instead, we will ameliorate your Caption Contest impotence by inviting you to have a Face-Punching Contest instead, with this picture what Eric Cantor just tweeted out about these assholes waiting to “negotiate” (take their government and go home) with the Senate. Read more on Caption Contest? Or Face-Punching Contest? You Decide!…
  if that's your girlfriend she wasn't last night

Whose Old Lady Is Old Handsome Joe Biden Stealing Now?

Yes it’s from a few days ago (from the Time 100 gala, the one where Rush Limbaugh thought Old Handsome Joe was drunk because he said Americans were resilient), but jesus how boring is today’s news? Read more on Whose Old Lady Is Old Handsome Joe Biden Stealing Now?…
  nevar forget

Contest! Caption This Sextorter GOP Creep In An Elephant Costume, With The Gingriches!

This morning, we brought you news of Paul Ryan/Newt Gingrich/Mitt Romney threeway victim and utter creepazoid Adam Savader, and how we (ahem) he was (ALLEGEDLY) sextorting all the pretty girls by hacking their nakey selfies and then threatening to release the pictures of their “tits” and “pussies” to their parents, the RNC, their internships, and the world. Indeed, he seems the perfect picture of a fine young man. Well but! He is also the kind of team player who VOLUNTEERED to act out his furry cosplay fantasies wear the Ellie the Elephant costume at Newt Gingriche’s zoophilia festivals. And here, thanks to CNN, he maybe is! Caption away. Read more on Contest! Caption This Sextorter GOP Creep In An Elephant Costume, With The Gingriches!…
  they're on a boat!

Caption Contest! Mitt And Ann Romney Are On A Boat

Tupper Romney tweets this photo of Mitt and Ann Romney on a boat. For some reason, His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney — who is objectively a handsome man — always looks super gross and greasy when he’s on vacation at “Lake Winni.” Here they look like nothing so much as a really sweaty and awful Viagra ad. But do you think they look like a sweaty and awful Viagra ad? Or do you think they look like something else? Read more on Caption Contest! Mitt And Ann Romney Are On A Boat…
  like shooting ducks in a barrel

Your Monday Caption Contest: Paul Ryan With This Dead Thing

Hey y’all, it’s not that you didn’t do a swell job on yesterday’s caption contest, except that you kind of didn’t. But we didn’t either, so who can blame you! Let us try again. Here is Paul Ryan, with something that he presumably murdered. That should be easier, don’t you think? Have at it. [FoxNews] Read more on Your Monday Caption Contest: Paul Ryan With This Dead Thing…
  dirty deeds done dirt cheap

Caption Contest! Paul Ryan Is Your New Mr. Cool Disguise

The fine people at Videogum have been keeping track of the various Mr. Cool Disguises ever since Charlie Sheen (who else?) invented the Cool Disguise. And now here, courtesy of Buzzfeed, is Paul Ryan, circumventing the press before the Romney campaign leaked his human identity all over Twitter. (Because they are bad at campaigning.) Read more on Caption Contest! Paul Ryan Is Your New Mr. Cool Disguise…
  her favorite game

New Newspaper Reader Sarah Palin Decides Washington Post Is ‘Through’

What’s that? Is Sarah Palin reading newspapers now? Haha, no, she’s just retweeting the Weekly Standard again. But hey, we actually agree with her! The Washington Post is terrible! But it’s not “through” yet; it makes a lot of money gouging the government with its Kaplan brand of fake colleges and gouging rich parents with its Kaplan brand of test prep crap. Read more on New Newspaper Reader Sarah Palin Decides Washington Post Is ‘Through’…