All us crybaby liberals are all crying, “Oh no Barack Obama isn’t being liberal enough about everything, even though he is supposed to be black.” Well now we know the rest of the story: This big old cauliflower brain in the White House is not-so-secretly running everything. And you know what color cauliflower is …. [White House Flickr]

It’s a sad-ass day for America when the Secret Service lets this dirty old robot eat the country’s first black president. [White House Flickr]

The Official White House Caption on this shocking Pete Souza photo reads, “President Barack Obama jokingly reacts to news that staffer Nora Becker will be leaving to pursue a joint MD and PhD in healthcare economics during the White House staff picnic on the South Lawn, June 26, 2009.” Eh, looks to us like he’s just cold lungin’ for two handfuls of Smarty McCollegey. [White House Flickr/Pete Souza]

“And you just tell them, this is what I do to my friends.” [Official White House Photostream]

Whoa hey what is going on here, in this picture? Bet you didn’t know all the schools in America were being painted “Obama Blue.” Oh, and hooray, it’s a caption contest! Try to be funnier today. [Pete Souza/White House]

• CAPTION CONTEST WINNER: Okay now DON’T take this personally, because most of our paid-for jokes suck too, but… well maybe the problem was with the picture? Not much to work with? (WHAT WE MEAN IS THAT THE ENTRIES WERE BAD.) So the winner will be working-class hero “jagorev” for ecstatically outing himself as a fan of this nerdy little nerd sport, whack-a-mole: “OMG, as a cricket fan myself, I feel like Barry just touched me in my special place (the guy with him, Brian Lara, is one of history’s greatest cricketers). This is what it must have felt like for basketball fans when he nailed that three pointer.” GET A JOB, JAGOREV.

CAPTION CONTEST! See who writes the drollest of captions! Winner gets to be brutally murdered by Barack Obama. [Pete Souza/White House]

“On last weekend’s rain-soaked Saturday, Groveland celebrated those treasures with a festival in honor of the 40th anniversary of the Wild and Scenic Rivers Act. President Lyndon Johnson signed the legislation on Oct. 2, 1968.” [BLM NewsBytes]

Last night Wonkette harassed Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe, but the audio went out! Now we can have one of those evil contests that people like so much, hurrah: When we asked Terry McAuliffe about Hillary Clinton, what did he say? Best response wins a pot of golden furs.

Secret Wonkette Operative “M” sent us this photograph, which he actually took somewhere in the Eastern Time Zone, of Barack Obama saying something menacing to this poor reporter, who was probably only doing a good journalism thing like asking Obama to prove he was American! (Or maybe it was about economics, who knows.) In other words, let’s have a Caption Contest! UPDATE: We have a wiener! MORE »