Wonkette

A series of “suspicious fires” in the Dirksen and Hart Senate buildings has everybody all freaked out, because we all know what happens after the arson in the lawmakers’ headquarters.

A total of four garbage-can fires were set (and extinguished) between 10:45 a.m. and 2 p.m. today, Capitol police said. MORE »

The Capitolist’s anonymous hill staffers on The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful: “Also, top 10 — half of them are minorities. It’s not that they’re not beuatiful. What surprises is that there are 5 minority staffers on capitol hill. Somewhat undrepresented on Capitol Hill and overrepresented on the list, but whatever.” [Capitolist]

Today on The Capitolist — the new anonymous message board only accessible through official congressional computers — we learn what Hill staffers think about beauty and politics:

* I’m just saying that for the most part, Democrats tend to be uglier or ugly people tend to identify more with Democrats. (Classic chicken-egg scenario). Probably because ugly people are usually always pissed off and spiteful of people who are successful and attractive and thus try to destroy them by taxing them to death. They can then define themselves as successful, even though they haven’t done anything worthwhile in their pitiful existence except harp about how much America sucks. And of course they then have even less fortunate people - who they keep in a state of perpetual helplessness - gullibly tell them they are heroes. Ugly heroes, but at least that’s better than nothing.

How true! Come read some more of what makes America so great retarded, after the jump.

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A fiendish technological plot to get all Hill staffers fired was launched this week, and experts say the innocent youngsters will likely walk right into the honeypot. MORE »