Tag: capitol hill

Here’s Your God-Forsaken ’50 Most Beautiful’ List

Absolutely nothing of note is happening in politics today, and it's sort of hard to blog about nothing. But it is possible, by some sort of mathematical anomaly, to blog about less than nothing, so here we go! The...

Disgusting Capitol Hill Cancer Machine Now Operable Again!

An ecstatic Hill staffer spreads the good news -- nay, the best news for Hill staffers in probably their whole lives! "Here is a picture of the cock-tease hot dog vending machine that has been inoperable for the past...

Liz Glover Finds Happiest Tea Partiers Ever (Who Are There ‘On a Whim’)

Here's a welcome change from the usual mouth-breathing teabaggers farting up the Capitol: Happy youth, who just wandered over to the Hill to see what's up, for the laffs! And our Liz Glover captured their merriment (and their souls)...

TEABAGGER PHOTO ALERT: Whoa hey there are a bunch of Teabaggers hanging around the Capitol right now? With signs and pirate hats and everything? We don't know if Newell is out taking pictures or if they already eated him,...

Such A Vulgarian, This Teabagger

Wonkette motorist operative "Marcus" sent us this telephone picture of the rather uncouth car he was stuck behind yesterday, during the Super Bowl of Retardation. This fellow hates Obama so much that he -- and we're presuming "he," because...

Teabaggers Will Attempt To Rip Apart 1,990-page Bill

Operative "Randy C," of fleeting Halloween costume Internet fame, has graciously donated his "pubic option" poster to the teabaggers. Is that pastor taking a shine to it? Meanwhile, another Hill operative reports on an overheard conversation between two members...

BACHMANN'S CHIEF OF STAFF QUITS: Michelle Marston, who has helped Michele Bachmann project her radioactive insanity to a larger audience since becoming chief of staff in early 2008, quit that job today -- one day before Bachmann's "Super Bowl...

'MAGICAL ELVES' ARE SHOOTING A D.C. REALITY SHOW, TOO: Yet another dumb new show about young rich sociopaths obsessed with power and clothes: "From the Emmy award-winning producers of Project Runway and Top Chef comes a new documentary series...

Experience Mexico City Without Getting Kidnapped By a Drug Cartel And More Food Events

Thursday, March 19: There will be delicious cocktails and hors d' oeuvres at Bread for the City's big fund raising event, "Art with a Heart." Simply pay the $200 ticket, and you're in. 6PM at the Capitol Hilton. Friday,...

La Loma: Eat Burritos With Your Congressman (Maybe)

La Loma is the perfect place to go if you want Mexican food in a festive atmosphere and you don't really care what you're eating, as long as it's smothered in orange cheese. It’s also a fantastic place to...

A Good Time to Visit Your Capitol

If you've ever wished to see the Capitol without writhing hordes of school-aged children blocking your view, then late Friday afternoon seems to be a good time. The lines are minimal, and you can actually get a good...

No Problem Here

The war on terror is over, and America won! Here is proof, in the form of a rusty emergency box directly outside the Longworth House Office Building on Capitol Hill. If any homeland security threats remained, this box would...

John McCain Ruins Compromise For Now

See, we say things like " could also maybe light the current bipartisan compromise on fire and order everyone to draft a new one," as jokes. You know, "funnies." You take reality and bend it, to make the humans...

Meet The 50 Hottest Pieces On Capitol Hill!

Washington's The Hill newspaper has published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill, and yes, they were somehow able to find the requisite 50 people! We don't really know where to begin with this....

Richard Simmons Freaks Out, In Congress

Here's a nice video from The Hill newspaper that shows fitness creep Richard Simmons annoying Capitol Hill for several hours yesterday. He testifies to a House committee about No Child Left Behind destroying public schools' physical education programs, and...

Did Chip Pickering Destroy Some Old Young Man At Congressional Baseball Game?

Chip Pickering, the Mississippi Congressman who's retiring to spend more time with his divorced family and mistresses, participated in last night's annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game one last time, for the fans. If you would like a recap...