Wonkette motorist operative “Marcus” sent us this telephone picture of the rather uncouth car he was stuck behind yesterday, during the Super Bowl of Retardation. This fellow hates Obama so much that he — and we’re presuming “he,” because how unladylike! — chose to attach a massive cut-out of a donkey shitting Obama’s head on his rear windshield, at the expense of his visibility. Another sticker reads, “King’s Dream is a Nightmare.” Oh that silly Martin Luther King Jr., always ripe for a joke. After the jump, another wacky leftover operative photo, from a Hill office. MORE »

Operative “Randy C,” of fleeting Halloween costume Internet fame, has graciously donated his “pubic option” poster to the teabaggers. Is that pastor taking a shine to it? Meanwhile, another Hill operative reports on an overheard conversation between two members of the mobilizing force: MORE »

• BACHMANN’S CHIEF OF STAFF QUITS: Michelle Marston, who has helped Michele Bachmann project her radioactive insanity to a larger audience since becoming chief of staff in early 2008, quit that job today — one day before Bachmann’s “Super Bowl of Freedom,” on Capitol Hill. Marston will not disclose her reasons, which is great, because now we all can just make shit up! THEY HAD A BIG FIGHT B/C THEY HATE EACH OTHER, a “well-sourced Washington lawyer” tells us. [Politico]

‘MAGICAL ELVES’ ARE SHOOTING A D.C. REALITY SHOW, TOO: Yet another dumb new show about young rich sociopaths obsessed with power and clothes: “From the Emmy award-winning producers of Project Runway and Top Chef comes a new documentary series about the chic up and comers in our nation’s capital. If you are a Washington, D.C., society insider, recent college graduate or future political powerhouse, please e-mail us atcasting@magicalelves.com. You must be 21 or over and currently live in D.C. or be planning to move there in the next couple of months.” DON’T BELIEVE THEM! Magical elves (e.g. Mitt Romney) are known succubi. [Ezra Klein]

Thursday, March 19: There will be delicious cocktails and hors d’ oeuvres at Bread for the City’s big fund raising event, “Art with a Heart.” Simply pay the $200 ticket, and you’re in. 6PM at the Capitol Hilton. [BFC] MORE »

La Loma is the perfect place to go if you want Mexican food in a festive atmosphere and you don’t really care what you’re eating, as long as it’s smothered in orange cheese. It’s also a fantastic place to go if you want to eavesdrop on some first hand DC gossip — after all, this is Capitol Hill. MORE »

If you’ve ever wished to see the Capitol without writhing hordes of school-aged children blocking your view, then late Friday afternoon seems to be a good time. The lines are minimal, and you can actually get a good look at the fancy new visitor center that cost America $621 million. MORE »

The war on terror is over, and America won! Here is proof, in the form of a rusty emergency box directly outside the Longworth House Office Building on Capitol Hill. If any homeland security threats remained, this box would surely be unblemished, maybe even operational! MORE »

See, we say things like “[McCain] could also maybe light the current bipartisan compromise on fire and order everyone to draft a new one,” as jokes. You know, “funnies.” You take reality and bend it, to make the humans laugh! HA HA HA, like that! But then the McCain campaign always takes our joke and INSTITUTES IT, AS POLICY. And that’s how John McCain has ruined whatever tenuous late-game compromise the adults had reached. And all he had to do was show up and open his trap. MORE »

Washington’s The Hill newspaper has published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill, and yes, they were somehow able to find the requisite 50 people! We don’t really know where to begin with this. Checking out all the names and pictures takes long enough, and then there are little articles for each entry — long articles. So far the only sentence we’ve read, arbitrarily selected, was this: “It seems that when Coty Wamp, daughter of Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.), was 11, an alien invaded her body.” We dare not ask any further questions. MORE »

Here’s a nice video from The Hill newspaper that shows fitness creep Richard Simmons annoying Capitol Hill for several hours yesterday. He testifies to a House committee about No Child Left Behind destroying public schools’ physical education programs, and he exercises with Hill staffers outside the building. For Republican Congressmen who could witness this from the Capitol’s bathroom windows, it was a dream come true. In this video, Simmons starts freaking out to Congress at :52, then ratchets it up at 1:15, then “climaxes” at 1:30. It is hilarious. This Hill reporter, Erica whatever, seems nice. [YouTube]