Tag Archives: capitalism

  suffer the little children

Barack Obama Now Trying To Murder White Children, With Asthma

How is the Obama administration trying to murder white children today? Oh, only by giving them more asthma, for racial fairness, according to this incredibly logical and sane explicator in The American Thinker. Thinking! Pull up your coffee, and learn how to do it, with the American Thinker to guide you! The Obama Administration has identified the latest front in its tireless war against America’s systemic injustice: asthma. A new report […] argues, in effect, that freedom has led to an unfair distribution of healthy lungs, and therefore steps must be taken to achieve respiratory justice. The official press release for this report does not commit itself on the question of whether greater asthmatic-racial “parity” ought to be attained by reducing the incidence of asthma among minorities, increasing the rate among whites, or some combination of the two. Well of course Barack Obama wants to give more white children asthma, that is what the EPA drones over the Heartland are for, to ooze diabolical chem-trails onto the (white) children of farmers, that just makes sense. Read more on Barack Obama Now Trying To Murder White Children, With Asthma…
  das kapital

Jennifer Rubin Opens Yap

Does Barack Obama understand capitalism? This is a legitimate question that Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post would like answered, given that Obama is a Socialist bully who uses intemperate language and who is NEVER EVER THERE for America’s bff Israel and MIGHT take powers granted to him by Obamacare to legislate “new and previously unimaginable infringements on individual liberty and decimating the federal structure of our government.“ His recent attacks on poor, defenseless Bain Capital can only mean one thing: Obama does not understand Capitalism, because duh. …[Bain’s] “brand” of capitalism is capitalism, and in its undiluted state does create hardship, but nothing in comparison to the amount of suffering inherent in other, less successful economic models. Two points should be kept in mind. First, we don’t have undiluted capitalism precisely because, while capitalism is the greatest wealth-creator the world has ever known (I think Obama even said this), we don’t as a compassionate society want undue suffering in the short term. Hence, we have unemployment insurance and an array of social safety-net programs. Look, do you want to live in “other, less successful economic models” — like the kind of social democracy they have in Sweden, where everyone has free health care and education and paid maternity leave? DO YOU? Do you EVEN KNOW what kind of freedom and liberty you’d lose? And the suffering, my god, the suffering. Because nothing compares to the amount of suffering you see amongst those Swedish commie socialist pinkos, not even the minimal amount of suffering you might see in undiluted capitalism, which we don’t even HAVE. Read more on Jennifer Rubin Opens Yap…
  whore diamonds aren't forever

Newt Gingrich Is All Out Of Whore Diamonds

We have had a lot of fun over the years pointing and laughing at Ol’ Yeller, Newt Gingrich. One of the things we have liked best is laughing about how very bad he is with money, because of how he is a common hustler who rips off everyone within a 26,000-mile radius. But today, Reuters points us to a tragic tale: not only is Newtypie’s campaign 80 trillion dollars in debt or whatever, but his personal fortune — his “empire” pulled in $110 million over the past decade — welp, that’s gone too and everyone is as bankrupt as Donald Trump. OH NOEZ! The Gingrich Group bankruptcy proceedings spotlight the remarkable reversal of fortune of the half-dozen organizations associated with Gingrich. The presidential contender recently ended his campaign $4.8 million in debt. A political nonprofit he headed, American Solutions for Winning the Future, which raised $52 million between its founding in 2007 and its dissolution last July, also ended in debt. That would buy so very many whore diamonds. Have these people no priorities? Let us read some more eye-goggling numbers please, Reuters, perhaps with a bonus aside about what a liar the entire right wing is about their stupid keening over NAZI SOSHULIST MANDATES! Read more on Newt Gingrich Is All Out Of Whore Diamonds…
  move along vagrants

Long National Nightmare Over As Rich People Back To Being Richer Than Ever!

Why the long face? Have you not heard? According to CNN.com… The Fortune 500 are thriving as a group. Unlike the U.S. economy, they’ve shown quicksilver agility, rapidly shifting their product mix and producing more goods at little new cost. Did you catch that? They’re not just thriving as individuals, they’re thriving as an entire group! The Fortune 500’s swashbuckling captains of enterprise and industry managed to rake more cash than they did in 2006, before minorities forced banks to lend them money and OBAMA and his COMMUNIST POLICIES ruined the economy for everyone. USA! USA! USA! Before we go any further, let’s pause to thank Occupy for their big Mayday fail, without which we would not be free to bask in the sunshine of AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM and SOMETHING HAVING TO DO WITH FREEDOM. Read more on Long National Nightmare Over As Rich People Back To Being Richer Than Ever!…
  citizens just cause trouble

Obama Installs Consumer Chief, Officially Makes Citizens ‘Consumers’

Citing a pressing need to legally redefine Americans as “consumers” before they get any other big ideas, President Obama today appointed his choice to lead the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The appointment bypassed the Senate, because the Republican minority there won’t allow anything but tax cuts for the rich and new War Contracts. The Senate has not officially adjourned since last year, because the GOP won’t allow that, either. So the procedural fake outrage today is about the president’s authority to make recess appointments, even though Obama is appointing someone with “bipartisan support” who has been waiting for a year to go to work. What that work will entail, however, is the formal conversion of U.S. citizens to “consumers.” Considering how quickly the rights of human citizens are being signed away by this president, perhaps it is a good thing that the American people are getting a new designation! Read more on Obama Installs Consumer Chief, Officially Makes Citizens ‘Consumers’…
  #occupywalmart

Wal-Mart’s Billions and the Art Museum of Cruelty: A Christmas Carol

Here is a number we’ve seen bouncing around this week that really makes us want to fire up the old Yule Log, in the sense that the “Yule Log” is a tightly bound human centipede of the richest hundred humans in America, lit on fire: The six heirs to the Wal-Mart fortune have about $93 billion between them, more money and financial assets than the combined 100,000,000 Americans at the bottom of our crushing economic system. With half of all Americans now officially poor or “near poor” — which is somehow worse than plain poverty, as “near poor” means you don’t qualify for the minimal safety net this country generously offers some of its most desperate people — it is not a complete surprise that the rich must be very rich indeed these days. But the idea of six heirs to a corporate fortune built upon the destruction of American manufacturing, American small business and the American working class owning more than 30% of the entire nation, well that is the kind of thing that makes us think of Charles Dickens, and the holiday of abject misery and constant war against the impoverished called “Christmastime.” Read more on Wal-Mart’s Billions and the Art Museum of Cruelty: A Christmas Carol…
  capitalism is now a dirty word

Republican Strategists ‘Frightened To Death’ By #OWS Movement

While the Occupy Wall Street movement can sometimes seem to be more about tents and police and pepper spray than the crushing economic injustice in this country, Republican political operatives are having no trouble at all figuring out exactly what #OWS wants. “I’m so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort. I’m frightened to death,” top GOP strategist Frank Luntz said at the Republican Governors Association meeting in Orlando this week. “They’re having an impact on what the American people think of capitalism.” Uh oh, looks like the dupes are starting to figure out capitalism isn’t fair. The GOP better have some pat answers ready when their former stooges in the destroyed middle class start asking fancy questions about income equality! Read more on Republican Strategists ‘Frightened To Death’ By #OWS Movement…
  heroes

Meet the Smart Anthropologist Anarchist Who Helped Launch #OWS

Here’s something we don’t say every day: This long, well-written profile in Bloomberg BusinessWeek is inspiring. It’s about David Graeber, “the Anti-Leader of Occupy Wall Street,” and he is just the kind of smart anthropologist that Florida criminal/governor Rick Scott must’ve been thinking about during that whole “shut down the teaching of anthropology” idiocy. Read more on Meet the Smart Anthropologist Anarchist Who Helped Launch #OWS…
  occupy the wall street journal

Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half

Shrunken cliche Rupert Murdoch’s empire of shit continues to stink, with his “rogue corporation” caught in yet another amoral activity — this time, managers of his Wall Street Journal have been caught inflating the paper’s European circulation by 41%. So the big corporations paying top dollar to reach the coveted 1% who supposedly read the WSJ while shopping in Paris or whatever were instead paying to have 31,000 daily copies bought for a nickel apiece and dumped. Worse, the paper printed a bunch of bogus endorsements and features on the shell companies involved in the criminal scheme. Read more on Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half…
  karl marx ruined africa

Ron Paul: Africa’s Famines Will End When They Quit Being So Socialist

Ron Paul! He knows what’s wrong with Africa. All the famines, the people dying over there that you may have heard about in the news lately? It’s because Africa is socialist. The whole place! RON PAUL, on Africa: “All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you compare famine, the countries that are more socialistic have more famines. If you look at Africa, they don’t have any free market systems and property rights and they have famines and no medical care.” Elect Ron Paul President of Africa! Read more on Ron Paul: Africa’s Famines Will End When They Quit Being So Socialist…
  no more freebies

Paul Ryan Charging Town Hall Attendees $15 To Yell At Him

Corporate rentboy Paul Ryan has a “neat market solution” for making sure that his constituents leave him the hell alone next time he wants to preach to a town hall crowd about his fever dreams for destroying Social Security and Medicare: charge everyone $15 to come in the door. “What does no one in America with something to lose if Social Security and Medicare are destroyed have to spare by this point? Fifteen bucks!” See how that works out? Go yell at socialist President Obama, who still lets everyone yell in his face for free, for socialism. Read more on Paul Ryan Charging Town Hall Attendees $15 To Yell At Him…
  the invisible hand will protect us now

Capitalism Win of The Day: Texas Town Fires Police Force To Balance Budget

The budget heroes of Alt0, Texas have run the numbers, and they have concluded the town’s police force was just not very lucrative when it came to the town’s revenues, probably because police are typical “government freeloaders.” Snip saw hack! So the city council cut the police department from the budget, fired all the policemen for not doing anything at all besides sucking tax dollars down the drain, and sent them home. Is it really so bad? Maybe now the fired coppers can work as freelancers, like in Mexico, where the free market handles security decisions correctly, with capitalism. And probably the neighborhood vigilante mob with its rifles will fill in the gaps, so this is now officially a great idea.  Read more on Capitalism Win of The Day: Texas Town Fires Police Force To Balance Budget… Read more on Capitalism Win of The Day: Texas Town Fires Police Force To Balance Budget…
  national tragedies

Teabagger Discount Program Fails Free-Market System

The Tea Party Exchange of Dayton, Ohio — a customer-loyalty program that was supposed to reward Teabaggers with discounts, TeabaggerMarts with new customers, and take a little off the top for the Tea Party itself — has shut down operations after a remarkably short time on this earth, reports the Talking Points Memo muckrakers. Aren’t such discount programs kind of “pro-poor,” anyway? Read more on Teabagger Discount Program Fails Free-Market System…
  twilight

Evil Communist Youths Refuse To Let Financial Columnist Pay For Lemonade

Terry Savage is a personal finance columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times because that is a thing newspapers need probably. Usually she blabbers on about student loans and annuities and such, but her latest column is VERY IMPORTANT FOR AMERICA. Last week she was in the back seat of a car in some rich suburb when the vehicle came upon a lemonade stand some children had put up. But this was no ordinary lemonade stand: These children were giving it away FOR FREE. Savage rolled down her window and DEMANDED that these children charge money for this, as this is a good capitalist country, but the children would not take any money. And now America is ruined forever. Read more on Evil Communist Youths Refuse To Let Financial Columnist Pay For Lemonade…
  our flourishing economy

Woo-Hoo, Stocks At 18-Month High, Everybody’s Rich Now?

Just the other day, we were remembering the exciting month of September 2008 — known to historians as “The Apocalypse of Sarah Palin Foisted Upon the Peoples of the United States” — and those thrilling days when the entire global financial system began its complete collapse. And today, capitalism is honoring the socialist Kenyan’s death-camp victory by finally bringing the U.S. stock indexes back to levels last seen in the final gruesome days of September 2008. America is back? Read more on Woo-Hoo, Stocks At 18-Month High, Everybody’s Rich Now?…
  substantive criticisms

Historical Feuds: Jeb Bush & Capitalism Vs. Barack Obama & How Terrible Barack Obama Is

Important participant in democracy Jeb Bush took to some Chamber of Commerce summit on Wednesday and asked: What awful thing has capitalism ever done to anyone that Barack Obama wants to criminalize it so badly?  “‘I think President Obama has used the bully pulpit as a way to attack capitalism,’ he said, according to LegalNewsOnline.com. Bush paused a moment, then acknowledged: ‘That’ll make the news.'” The Bush progeny has become self-aware. Run.  [CNN Political Ticker] Read more on Historical Feuds: Jeb Bush & Capitalism Vs. Barack Obama & How Terrible Barack Obama Is…
  she spits on your greenbacks

Sotomayor’s Spending Habits Reveal She Is … A Communist?

The whole “Sonia Sotomayor is the reanimated corpse of Michael Jackson come to kill all yr babies” approach does not seem to be working so well for opponents of the Supreme Court candidate, so they’ve basically got two options: they can cite that Ricci case and talk about how she’s a racist (although not a judicial activist!), or they can talk about how much money she spends and how that makes her a bad capitalist. Read more on Sotomayor’s Spending Habits Reveal She Is … A Communist?…
  philosophical debates

Poll Shows Nation Teetering On Brink Of Socialism

Huzzah, Wonktards! We have won over some significant percentage of our fellow citizens to the side of the hedonist left, where stoners get paid welfare checks to wank it over Thomas Pynchon books all day. A new Rassmussen survey shows that a mere 53 percent of Americans believe capitalism is better than socialism. Read more on Poll Shows Nation Teetering On Brink Of Socialism…
  bull market for hobo stocks!

CANNED GOODS STOCKS SOAR: See, it went like this: Wonkette told people to buy canned goods, and the markets immediately reacted. Wonkette stock lady operative “Nicole” writes, “Just noticed that Campbell Soup Co. is currently the # 2 ‘Top Mover’ stock.” Capitalism! Read more on …
 

To Do: 3.0

* Phil Gailey, Marueen Dowd, Mark Shields, David Broder and Brian McGrory talk about The Best of Mary McGrory at Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM, followed by tequila shots and oil wrestling. [P&P] * Working Assets co-founder Peter Barnes has a way with metaphor: “It’s time to ‘upgrade’ capitalism by reclaiming the commons. Barnes shows that the market, like a computer, is run by an operating system, one that inherently gives the ‘right of way’ to profit-maximizing corporations who redistribute their profits to only a sliver of the population.” Learn more at Busboys & Poets, where he’ll discuss his book Capitalism 3.0: A Guide to Reclaiming the Commons. Free at 6:30PM. [DC Independent Media Center] Read more on To Do: 3.0…
 

To Do: A Couple of Swells

* P.J. O’Rourke discusses On the Wealth of Nations, promises to explain “why Adam Smith’s seminal work is still relevant,” why P.J. O’Rourke isn’t funny anymore. Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM. [P&P] * DC Restaurant Week starts today! [Open Table] * Judy Garland and Fred Astaire star in the Irving Berlin musical Easter Parade at AFI. “Astaire is shaken when his long-time dance partner Ann Miller goes solo. After drunkenly boasting that he can turn any plain Jane into a first-class dancer, he sets his sights on transforming Garland.” Spoiler: Lots and lots of diet pills. $6.75 at 4:20PM. [AFI] Read more on To Do: A Couple of Swells…