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Tag: cap-and-trade

China's amphibious motorcycles and tractors will be 60% cleaner by 2022. Free LSD For artists will continue as is

China Ruins Republicans’ Favorite Excuse For Ignoring Climate Change

While not nearly as sexy (?) as the news that John Boehner will be dragging his orange ass back to Ohio (or more likely, to a nice lobbying firm where he can make lots of money to feed the...
Yes it's a pony. But it could have been a pic of Lindsey Graham. Count your blessings.

Lindsey Graham Isn’t A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He’s Doomed.

Loath though we are to ever say anything especially nice about Lindsey Graham, given his penchant for wanting to send Americans to bomb as many distant lands as possible, we have to give him an "attaboy" on his remarkably...
He's secretly sick of that shade of yellow

Shell Oil CEO Believes In Global Warming Because He Is A Dirty Hippie Obviously

This should be fun for Fox News to explain away: The CEO of Royal Dutch Shell, Ben van Beurden, said at an energy industry conference in London that climate change is real and that a system of pricing carbon...

South Dakota GOP Halloween Tale Of Terror: Dirty Hippie Running For Congress Went To Cambridge, Has Master’s Degree

Who do you want representing you, South Dakota? A disgusting hippie who loves "cap and trade" and taught at the Biosphere and has a master's degree? Or this nice lady with the awesome hair who was named "young farmer...

Joe Manchin Says He Doesn’t Hunt People With Gun, Just Stacks of Paper

Sen. Joe Manchin saw some Republican candidates in the midterms using heated rhetoric about using their guns on people, so he decided he had to do it too. So he went hunting for a wild cap-and-trade bill on some...

Meh Cap-And-Trade Whatever

It's Barack Obama in New Hampshire! Here he is politely acknowledging that the Senate will probably drop cap-and-trade this year. And sorry, "Starbucks coffee enthusiasts," but that sounds like a pretty good idea right now. It won't help to...

America Vs. the Sex Dwarves

By the Comics CurmudgeonReaders, your Comics Curmudgeon apologizes for missing last week's column, but you were all probably using alcohol, smoked meat products, and dangerous explosives to mask your self-loathing and economic despair and weren't watching the Interhoo anyway,...

Teabaggers Consider the Nuclear Option, Just as Hillary Clinton Once Did

Last Thursday hundreds of helpless picnic-goers were forced to wear leis and eat lomi lomi salmon while Barack Obama lit cigarettes with a tiki torch. It was the first madrassa-themed congressional picnic, ever. More than 200 mullet-sporting diabetics came...

John Boehner Simply Does Not Care For This Cap-And-Trade Bill

Today, in our ongoing celebration of profane Republican lawmakers, we bring you the beloved Ohio smoke-mummy John Boehner. On Friday he very coyly suggested that Nancy Pelosi's "Let's All Give Anal Beads to the Polar Bears for Christmas" enviroterrorist...

Gathering Of Mimes Will Halt Climate Change

Flash mob, you guys! Cryptic playing card mementos, just like the Joker used! What's it all add up to? A very urgent Citizen Effort to halt climate change, taking place at your local Longworth cafeteria in, hmm, 45 minutes...

Joe Barton Hard At Work, Being An Asshole

Opossum-eyed Jesus geologist Joe Barton, Republican Congressman from Texas, signaled his intent last month to stop the liberal Waxman-Markey energy bill -- the one with cap-and-trade, which is about hamburgers -- with traditional adult methods of opposition: "I’m going...

Majority Of Americans Think ‘Cap-And-Trade’ Is About Hamburgers

Sometimes you wonder if pollsters ask themselves "Is this an insulting thing to ask people?" before dialing up the opinionated American electorate. But no, not insulting, just revealing: "Given a choice of three options, just 24% of voters can...