Up in Alaska, these pro-Americas, your Joe Sixpacks and Hockey Moms don’t wait for your terrorist pals havin’ an election, gettin’ the votin’, before plannin’ for the next one, when McCain’s dead. [CNN]

If Americans know one thing about the Foreigns (and sometimes that’s a near thing), it’s that they live in Foreign countries, which, obviously, are hellholes of awfulness and despair. Guess if they didn’t want to be crapped on day and night by a malevolent universe, they should have lived in America! This week, the Foreigns introduces you to some happenings overseas that we can safely laugh at only because they only happen to Foreign types, but otherwise they’d be pretty depressing. MORE »

Oh CNN, what would we do on slow news days without you? MORE »