cannibalism

Hi-diddly-ho, Wonkerinos, and welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, the feature where we scrape up a bunch of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a full post of their own. It’s like Thanksgiving leftovers that have sat out too long, except they were kind of rotten to begin […]

Just stop it already Kevin Swanson, you make us love you too much. The official Wonket spokesperson for all things “Christian radio” has once again ear-raped our masses with a slippery slope of magnificent proportion, because gay kids + square knots equals incestual-cannabalistic-sodomy badges. It’s just the natural progression of things, according to Kevin Swanson.

Hoy there, Wonkeratti! It’s time once again for another disturbing Wonkette Sci-Blog. Pour yourselves another shot of Old Janx Spirit and come on in! The state of Florida has had some downright nightmarish problems with exotic introduced species.¬†Ever since humans have colonized that benighted peninsula, they’ve brought in nonnative plants and animals. Some for food, […]

Uh. Happy Sunday, everybody? Good news? Ronald William Brown, a very nice man who loved to hang out with children from his Florida trailer park, and buy them pizza, and watch over them at Sunday school, and be the puppeteer on a Christian Television Network show (above!), was not able to realize his fantasy of […]

Man, bad boy cheftrotter Tony Bourdain (your Editrix calls him “Tony” because of how he is her lover) will eat anything. There he always is, puking his way around Rangoon or whatever, eating turd hash on a salad of gravel and smiling wanly at his eager hosts. But what would he most like to eat? […]

World renowned sicko and former Liberian prez Charles Taylor is the first head of state to be convicted by an international tribunal since the Nuremberg Trials after World War II. (Nah guys, Pinochet was just Spain.) Who says that there’s no such thing as international law? Up next at The Hague is Laurent Gbagbo, the […]

What’s in your anusburger, Oklahoma, besides cow rectums, sawdust and glue? It can be hard to tell! Have you ever, as a result, worried to yourself, what if there are also ground up aborted human fetuses in here and I don’t even realize it? Oklahoma state Senator Ralph Shortey — his real name! — worries […]

We all know that Christine O’Donnell finds it offensive, against the LORD, when someone has not yet found (or been assigned by their father or local bishop) that oppositely-sexed person with whom he or she will be spending eternity making babies, and yet they decide to sate the baby-making urge while touching their “sin place,” […]

Once General Secretary Obama and Chief Commissar Pelosi have banned all capitalist activity more advanced that barter and turned Lower Manhattan into a giant open-air market for selling organic produce and hemp blankets, what will become of the tightly wound young men who made all that money for you and me, right up until the […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonDid you know that right now, thanks to some extra-tasty crack that the Gays slipped to the members of the DC City Council, dudes are marrying other dudes in our nation’s capital, and ladies are marrying ladies? This has been happening for about five years, of course, but only in parts of […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonIf Carl Jung were alive today, he’d see political cartoons as a shortcut into our collective subconscious. Those brave few Americans who continue to read newspapers have the honor or seeing the darkest, foulest recesses of the human mind barfed out daily onto editorial pages everywhere. In order to fulfill their appointed […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonOnce every a generation or so, it’s important that our comfortable lives are shaken up, so that we can take stock and figure out what’s really important. Sure, economic disruptions are painful, but they can also herald a return to self-reliance and old-fashioned, time-tested values. Unfortunately, our current economic crisis passed that […]

Judd Gregg, a Republican senator from New Hampshire who was going to be Barack Obama’s secretary of commerce before he remembered that had already mortgaged his balls to Mitch McConnell, has fallen prey to another one of the president’s dastardly bipartisan schemes. He has accepted an invitation to attend some sort of “fiscal responsibility summit” […]

CARTOON VIOLENCE  12:00 pm December 5, 2008

Let’s Get Naked

by Josh Fruhlinger

By the Comics CurmudgeonHello, everyone! Did you miss Cartoon Violence, last Friday, when you were reading the Internets when you should have been celebrating the day after Thanksgiving by crushing innocent Wal-Mart temp workers to death? You were no doubt alone in the house as you sat in front of your computer screen, your Cheeto-stained […]

CARTOON VIOLENCE  11:46 am September 19, 2008

Huzzah For The Apocalypse!

by Josh Fruhlinger

By the Comics Curmudgeon Hey everybody, are you enjoying the total implosion of late-stage capitalism? Are you watching your 401K lose digits by the day? Are you concerned that George W. Bush’s drunken meandering bullshit might not actually turn this thing around? Are you wondering, in other words, what the future post-apocalyptic meltdown will look […]