Tag Archives: Candy Crowley

  How can we miss you if you don't stay away?

Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something

Dick Cheney auditions for a reboot of
Sunday was a good day for the bookers on a couple of those political chat shows where Washington’s power brokers yap at each other in brazen displays of verbal hand jobbery. It’s not every week that the president and vice president of the previous administration both make appearances, but with last week’s release of the Senate’s torture report, both men might have been feeling the need to defend their legacy a bit. Surely there would be some tough questions and intense showdowns. Read more on Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something…
  blast from the past

Mitt Romney Still Griping About Candy Crowley’s Debate Moderation Because Jesus Please Shut Up

Oh Mittens. Why couldn’t you just get fat and sassy and grow a beard like other presidential losers, huh? Oh that’s right – because staying out of the public eye and not griping about being a sore loserman takes class, and perhaps that program hasn’t been uploaded yet. Instead, you are still rehashing things that happened like a million years ago, because we guess you still like seeing your name in print, and not for your funny dancing. Willard is all wah-wah-wah over that time Candy Crowley called him a lying liar during the presidential debate when he lied about BENGHAZI. You remember that, right? Well, Mitt certainly still remembers it, because he was yammering on and on about it on the Hugh Hewitt radio show the other day, per Mediaite: Read more on Mitt Romney Still Griping About Candy Crowley’s Debate Moderation Because Jesus Please Shut Up…
  Lies Damn Lies and Darrell Issa

Darrell Issa Calls Darrell Issa Reckless in IRS Probe

You know what’s fun? Watching politicians be giant crybabies about an issue, only to turn around and be total hypocrites on that very same issue! Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) is the latest to do so, this time on the issue of transparency. Remember when Rep. Issa  went on the teevee to talk to CNN’s Candy Crowley about the IRS and to call Obama’s press secretary a lying liar? Prior to going on the show, Rep. Issa released partial transcripts of interviews with IRS employees. In a rare glimpse of some actual journalism, Crowley repeatedly pointed out that they were in fact partial, and that even the “good parts” version didn’t show any definitive skulduggery. In response, Issa said that other parts of the transcript will make clear that the White House is full of evil serpents ready to eat the babies of Tea Party patriots, or some such unsubstantiated nonsense. Crowley asked the obvious question: will you release the entire transcripts, because you know, transparency and shit? Rep. Issa’s forked tongue hissed, “these transcripts will all be made public.” Really? For reals? You will never, ever guess where that vow ended up!  Read more on Darrell Issa Calls Darrell Issa Reckless in IRS Probe…
  please proceed fox nation

Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013

Whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch it is Fox Nation, and they are never going to get over the SHOCKING MALFEASANCE that was Candy Crowley’s LIEBRUL LYING LIES in the presidential debate — you remember the one? Please proceed, Governor? — and the gnashing of the teeth and the tearing of the hair and the MY GOD SHUT UP THAT WAS ALMOST FIVE MONTHS AGO. Frank Fahrenkopf, a co-chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates, and former chairman of the RNC, admitted this week that using liberal crank Candy Crowley as a debate moderator was a mistake. Crowley made history when she jumped in to save a stumbling Obama with a statement on the Benghazi terror strike that later proved false. [AHEM, ED NOTE, NO LINK TO ANYTHING PROVING ANYTHING FALSE BECAUSE SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.] The lapdog media later overwhelmingly gave the debate to Barack Obama. Now the co-chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates are admitting Crowley was a mistake. Read more on Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013…
  the protocrowleys of the elders of CNN

Intrepid Conservative Blogger Magnificently Exposes Massive Hofstra-Based Conspiracy

Follow along, libtards, as some guy on the internet blows your whole world up. Last week’s town hall debate was notable for many things – Romney trying to bumrush Obama like eighteen times, Obama not falling asleep five minutes in, and Candy Crowley sort of correcting Mitt Romney by shooting him right in his stupid face. But surely there is an explanation besides “Mitt was completely wrong” for why Crowley dared stand up to America’s Next President? Duh. A blogger at something called “The Last Refuge” and/or “The Conservative Treehouse” (they LUV Andy Breitbart!) has compiled an exhaustive breakdown of exactly how Crowley, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and Kerry Ladka, the infamous questioner/executioner, conspired to completely and totally embarrass Mitt Romney for about fifteen seconds and therefore lose him every swing state. Read more on Intrepid Conservative Blogger Magnificently Exposes Massive Hofstra-Based Conspiracy…
  sic semper tucker's anus

America, Meet Your Newest Presidential Assassin: Candy Crowley

There has been, perhaps, no transgression in American debate history worse than when, in the middle of Tuesday’s townhall debate, Candy Crowley swung from the rafters and literally probably shot Mitt Romney in the back of the head by correcting him, according to Tucker Carlson. Read more on America, Meet Your Newest Presidential Assassin: Candy Crowley…
  good goshy benghazi

Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an “act of terror” for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he was gloriously, spectacularly wrong. ROMNEY: I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror. OBAMA: Get the transcript. CROWLEY: It — it — it — he did in fact, sir. So let me — let me call it an act of terror… OBAMA: Can you say that a little louder, Candy? CROWLEY: He — he did call it an act of terror. It did as well take — it did as well take two weeks or so for the whole idea there being a riot out there about this tape to come out. You are correct about that. BOOM, MAN WHOSE NAME IS A CLOTHING ACCESSORY FOR HANDS. Mitt pretty much ganked a talking point from every dumb conservative blogger on the internet without checking it (including the Internet’s Dumbest Man and Woman, Jim Hoft and Michelle Malkin). If he had, he would have realized that Obama called Benghazi an “act of terror” the very next day after it happened, then again the day after in Colorado just in case motherfuckers weren’t listening. Here’s the problem, though: CanCrow is arguing that Mitt was “right in the main” about Libya because, er, the Obama administration said it was an “act of terror” motivated by a movie rather than by evil black terror hearts or whatever actually causes terrorism. (Video below the fold.) Read more on Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya…
  mind the gap

Fox News Watergates Debate Transcript; Erases Four Worst Minutes Of Mitt Romney’s Life

There’s a conspiracy afoot, kid detectives! After the debate, the networks posted “transcripts” of the debate. “What’s a transcript?” your dumb friend might ask. Well, a transcript is when someone writes down everything people said and then you cite from it on the internet! Well, Fox News “transcribed” the debate last night, but there was a mysterious four minute audio gap. Read more on Fox News Watergates Debate Transcript; Erases Four Worst Minutes Of Mitt Romney’s Life…
  make em say vote nah nah nah nah

‘Bout To Get Rowdy Rowdy And Debate It ‘Bate It

Hello, nerds! Rebecca and I are ready and set to get up in this debate shit, on the real. Tonight is the most important night of Barack Obama’s life, in that he should just straight slam Five Hour Energy and then leap around onstage like he will seriously Seal Team Six the fuck out of Romney’s shit. I am liveblogging from Gooeyz on the Ohio State University campus, courtesy of the Franklin County Young Democrats. Rebecca is blogging from a velvet couch while smoking a cigarette out of a long black holder. 8:38 PM: I have not seen a group of people this white sit in a space this small since that group of college kids piled in that Land Rover at Hilton Head. Read more on ‘Bout To Get Rowdy Rowdy And Debate It ‘Bate It…
  this week in job news

Candy Crowley Is Your New John King!

John King! He is that CNN guy who hosts that thing, and he’s married to whatsername! And now he is departing that thing to host some other thing, leaving behind a bleeding wound in the heart of CNN’s Sunday morning programming. Naturally, this is all the fault of the orange-headed former Mexican-hating space entrepreneur, Lou Dobbs. Read more on Candy Crowley Is Your New John King!…
  the high ground

CNN Now Sails Under Canadian Flag [UPDATE]

Those of you who were watching your inaugural festivities on the CNN this past week may have wondered from what mile-high fancy pillared balcony America’s Best Political News Organization Teevee Team was reporting. Was it the actual Mount Olympus, leased out by Obama? No, worse: it was from high atop the Canadian Embassy! They were actually in Canada to cover the black America party! UPDATE: CNN has e-mailed us to correct certain, HMM, shall we say “untruths” in this post? Read more on CNN Now Sails Under Canadian Flag [UPDATE]…
  hacks

WAIT, WHAT?: The Washington Post‘s masterful Chris Cillizza: “A huge crowd today could be a mixed blessing for Obama. On the one hand, it is a potent symbol of the excitement his candidacy has caused worldwide. On the other, thousands and thousands of cheering Germans may not play well stateside. Does a big crowd work to Obama’s benefit or detriment? Or somewhere in between?” The teevee crowd, of course, shares this sentiment. What do these people mean? That the “benefit” is the image of a large, excited crowd, and the “detriment” is that it’s a large, excited crowd of Nazis? [WP/The Fix] Read more on …
 

Weird Scenes From Hillary’s Philadelphia Lair

No. No. 10 points? That is like a million points in the sense that HILLARY WILL KEEP RUNNING rather than letter us all take VACATIONS on BEACHES away from THIS. Blah blah blah, Hopey done blown it, more pictures below from Satan’s lair. Read more on Weird Scenes From Hillary’s Philadelphia Lair…
 

Wonk’d: The Hot Mess

Just because someone is on TV, has run for president, or whatever, doesn’t mean they know how to dress themselves properly. Case in point: Ralph Nader. It’s just not that cold out, Ralph. Candy Crowley might need a few wardrobe tips too — and a reality check. While we’re giving unsolicited advice, how about a refresher driving class for Bob Novak? It seems like he needs it. There’s still more Wonk’d to come this week, so you have a few more days to fatten our inbox with sightings. Just put “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, and we’ll publish all the hot fresh spottings on Friday. Check out the first installment of this week’s sightings, after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: The Hot Mess…