candidates

CAVALCADE OF FUTILITY 9:15 am June 17, 2013

Already Focused On Losing In 2016, Republicans Want Paul Ryan For President

Here’s a poll from Gallup that nicely encapsulates why the Republican party is so screwed: Among Republicans, Paul Ryan is the top choice out of five prospective candidates to lose the presidency to Hillary in 2016 (the others were, in order, Rubio, that amateur dentist fellow, a known Canadian anchor baby, and Chris Christie), but [...]

THE SPORTING NEWS 1:37 pm August 18, 2010

Jock-Republicans Seek To Take Over America

by Lauri Apple

A bunch of retired professional football and basketball athletes have been running for office this year on the Republican ticket, to Take America Back and also reinforce the stereotype about jocks not being very bright. The aspiring-leader bunch includes “at least five” former NFL or NBA superheroes, Bloomberg News reports. Talk about tossing political footballs! [...]

AMERICA'S GREATEST FAMILY 3:29 pm January 5, 2009

George Bush Sr. Will Make Jeb Be President, Soon

by Jim Newell

Here’s old “Poppy” Bush talking to the teevee about how he will order America to make his son Jeb be “elected” President, sooner or later, dead or alive. Obviously this will happen, because we forget everything terrible about this shady oil corporation of a family every eight years and just assume that one of them [...]

REPUBLICANS 9:27 am April 25, 2008