Tag: cancer

We have a month and a half to go. Please don't ask if 2016 could suck more.

Gwen Ifill In Heaven, Politely Interrupting All The Angels

Have to admire a woman who told Dick Cheney he could answer a question in 30 seconds or not at all.

Your Senate Sunday: What’s The Deal With The Dakotas? Do We Really Need Two?

This week's profile of 2016's U.S. Senate races is chock full of Dakotas. Sorry, not the Fanning girl.

Don’t Listen To Teevee Chefs About Sunscreen Plz

Oh thank God, it's the Snake Oil Bulletin!

Shove Herbs Up Your Butt For Cancer: The Snake Oil Bulletin

Beware of Australians trying to convince you to treat cancer by putting anything up your butt.

Zombie Ronald Reagan Tells Republicans To Do Their Job

Who doesn't love the smell of Dead Reagan in the morning? Especially when he is trolling Republicans from the great beyond: The time is now right to join together in a bipartisan effort to fulfill our constitutional obligation of restoring...

Now Cancer Has Killed Alan Rickman. Screw You, Cancer

You know what? Just ... no: Alan Rickman, one of the best-loved and most warmly admired British actors of the past 30 years, has died in London aged 69. His death was confirmed on Thursday by his family who said...

President Obama Asks Americans To Stop Being Dicks

Wasn't President Barry H. Oh Yeah In Your Face Bamz's final State of the Union address SO exciting, you guys? Not according to Donald Trump, who deemed it "really boring, slow, lethargic - very hard to watch!" But that's...
WHAT A YEAR AMIRITE?

Dear Jesus, What A Year 2015 Was! A Letter From Michelle Duggar

Dear friends, family, fellow sidehuggers, and Jesus: OHHHHHHHH! WHAT A YEAR THE DUGGARS HAVE HAD! We have been walking strong in the Lord, but sometimes He just throws you a curveball you weren't expecting! For instance, did you know that the...
Wipe that smirk off your face, boy.

Pharma Douchebro Martin Shkreli Ain’t Got No Job No More :(

Oh no, Martin Shkreli is having another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! Just Thursday, he was arrested for the heinous crime of being the biggest dickbag in all of U.S. America, and also for maybe the teeny-weeniest smidge of fraud....

Jimmy Carter Ditches Dumb Cancer, Will Live Forever Now

Best Former President Ever James Earl Carter had a nice surprise for his weekly Sunday School class at Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains, Georgia: "He said he got a scan this week and the cancer was gone,” Jill Stuckey...
Have a holly jolly titsmas.

Idiot Nevada Lawmaker Michele Fiore Decks The Halls With Guns, Tits, More Guns

For liberals, it is the War On Christmas season, where we get up every single day at early-o-clock to receive our marching orders for how to make the baby Jesus cry in his manger. REAL AMERICANS, though, are sending...
PEW! PEW! PEW!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deep In The Heart Of Stupid

Greetings, pardners, and welcome once again to the Snake Oil Bulletin. We've got us a rootin', tootin', hole-in-head-shootin' round of stories on the agenda this week, all taking place in that great throbbing, barbecue-thrombosed heart of America, Texas! Yeehaw!...
Check THIS out, kids!

Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!

There comes a time in every Christian youngster's life when he or she has a burning case of the crotch weasels and doesn't know what to do. Go to the doctor? Meh, that's for liberals. Go to church? Now you're...

Can We See Ben Carson’s Birth Certificate, Just To Prove He Was Really Born?

"Doctor" "Ben" "Carson" -- if that is even his real name, and we have reason to doubt -- has some real cool inspirational stories about his life. He grew up on a special kind of private sector welfare, which...

Why Did Ben Carson’s Enemies Force Him To Shill For Quack Cancer Cure?

Now that Dr. Ben Carson is the Republican Party's new daddy of the month, his enemies are out to get him. How? By hopping in their submarine time machines, apparently, and forcing him to use his reputation as a...
GUNNNNNNNS!

Idiot Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore Will Represent Boobs And Guns In Congress!

Of all the broken-braineded local politicking idiot teabagger ladies, Michele "That's One L" Fiore is our favorite. She's an assemblywoman in Nevada, and she came onto the scene just as Michele "The other one L" Bachmann was breaking our...