cancer

Not that anyone will be knocked over with this particular feather, but let’s give a little cheer to Mitch McConnell for this bit of chootspah: “Five years later, the stimulus is no success to celebrate,” said the embattled Republican to the Associated Press, “It is a tragedy to lament.”* Of course, that tragic spending halted […]

Who’d have ever guessed that a post about Alex Jones shouting like a moron would draw nutty comments? Would-be commenter “Aleksiev1″ was especially unhappy that we mocked Mr. Jones’ assertion that immunizations are full of cancer viruses, to do eugenics. Our skepticism did not sit well with Aleksiev1! If there are no cancer viruses in […]

So far this has been a week of shaking our heads at flop-sweating Republicans twisting themselves into rhetorical pretzels as they try to explain why this government shutdown that is very obviously their fault is not actually their fault. Meanwhile, the conservative press has been laboring dutifully to record any equivalent cringe-worthy word salad from […]

Hey ladies! Have you met Fox medical expert Dr. David Samadi? He is here to sexplain to us all that Obamacare is VERY STUPID to mandate that women and men be charged the same for insurance, because of how the women have the breasts and the ovaries, and they are just bogarting all the medical […]

George H.W. Bush and his entire security detail shaved their heads in solidarity with Patrick, the two-year-old son of another Secret Service dude. That is silly! The baby does not know he is bald! He was probably bald until quite recently anyway! But it is still Nice Time, so cool it, us. When Mitt Romney […]

The New York Times reports that Fidel Castro is still alive, and will outlive every other current and former “presidente” on the planet.

Your Wonkette had to go to the hospital about a year ago for a two hour long procedure. We had a good friend come pick us up, and as we left, she indicated a desire to take the brown paper bag of basic first aid supplies that the doctor had left for us to bring […]

Isn’t it wonderful to live in the land of socialized health care, where You People can all go to the ER of our local hospitals and receive medical services that everyone else pays for? As Mitt pointed out, “If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them […]

Last Thursday (otherwise known as The Day Justice Roberts Killed Freedom) marked the beginning of what will hopefully be a long-lasting trend in American politics, namely, politicians, pundits, and aspiring politicians saying what they think, in public, to reporters or on the air. For example, did you know that this isn’t Europe, which means that […]

How safe are those “backskatter” radiation machines, again? Completely safe, of course! But the Department of Homeland Security is just going to do a little check-and-see, just in case thousands and thousands of TSA airport security workers are about to be diagnosed with terrible cancers that will result, we assume, in the biggest lawsuit in […]

In case you ever wonder to yourself, as a dark thought experiment, what it sounds like when someone as profoundly paranoid and insane as Michele Bachmann actually ends up as a head of state, you get hilarious newz reports about your president like this one: A day after officials announced the cancer diagnosis of Argentina’s […]

Herman Cain is a pumpkin-headed creepy narcissist businessman who likes to repeat single-digit numbers and say stupid things. For reasons he cannot begin to explain, this Washington lobbyist and shit-food merchant allowed the release of a “web commercial” that shows a dirty old man saying weird things about Herman Cain and then melodramatically smoking a […]

Herman Cain: “If ObamaCare had been implemented when I caught cancer, I’d be dead.” Is cancer still a thing people are “catching” these days? If so, everyone stay away from Herman Cain, because he had it! Whatever, there are still a few weird morons who believe that ObamaCare will axe murder to pieces whatever sweet […]

Forgotten war criminal Donald Rumsfeld was taking a flight back to one of his mansions for the weekend when he was apprehended and felt up by TSA slobs. This is kind of like Justice, minus the part where Donald Rumsfeld was tortured for sixty-two years and then thrown into the Lake of Fire. Because, of […]

We thought Giant Whining Baby/Serial Divorcer Newt Gingrich had his half-million-dollar Tiffany’s credit line just because he always needs new engagement rings when he divorces his old, cancer-ridden wives for new, younger ladies he’s been schtupping for several years. But no, it’s actually sleazier than all that, because this is Newt Gingrich we’re talking about. […]