Tag Archives: campbell brown

  war on caterpillars

Campbell Brown Wouldn’t Hurt Planned Parenthood If It Didn’t Make Her So Mad

Did you ever wonder why the GOP seems determined to defund Planned Parenthood and wage constant and consistent attacks on women’s health care? Good, because Campbell Brown, former CNN anchor and the wife of a Romney advisor, has the answer for you: it’s not because of a war on caterpillars women, it’s because Planned Parenthood is run by uppity bitches who won’t compromise. Read more on Campbell Brown Wouldn’t Hurt Planned Parenthood If It Didn’t Make Her So Mad…
  where are they now?

Heroic Ex-Wonkette Sugar Mama Says Thing Based In Reality

Campbell Brown, whose enormous face we splattered all over this site in exchange for money, what, two-three years ago now?, is quitting her CNN show! This is largely because of her failure to defeat O’Reilly, Olbermann, and Nancy Grace in the ratings, but, because she is a high-powered media type, and they never admit defeat of any kind, ever, we’re guessing she’s going to purport to want to spend more time with her kids, “Eli” and “Asher.” Wait, WHAT? Read more on Heroic Ex-Wonkette Sugar Mama Says Thing Based In Reality…
  well if he can run iraq ...

Husband Of Giant Campbell Brown May Run For Senate

Once upon a time there was a gargantuan CNN anchoress who, for five wonderful, lucrative days way back in 2008, eated your Wonkette. (These were in the days when large corporations still paid money to blogs in exchange for advertising.) That lady is married to Dan Senor, a youngish douche who was once spokesman for the Coalition Provisional Authority, which brought instant peace and prosperity to Iraq following the invasion. The point is, Dan Senor is maybe thinking of challenging an assortment of other known douches for Kirsten Gillibrand’s Senate seat. Read more on Husband Of Giant Campbell Brown May Run For Senate…
  we expect nothing

Liveblogging The Pre-Game To Obama’s Saucy Congressional Gangbang!

Oh jesus we turned on the CNN and the first thing we heard was your favorite Campbell uttering that most terrifying word from 2008: “expectations.” As in, “Hey Roland, what expectations does President Obama have to meet tonight in order to ‘win’ the American people? David and Jeffrey, you guys just chime in, after Roland.” These people do know that Barack Obama won the election, which was last November, right? Anyway let’s see what other post-analytical proverbs of doom the CNN folks can bestow upon us. Read more on Liveblogging The Pre-Game To Obama’s Saucy Congressional Gangbang!…
  greta wuz robbed

Vogue Features Famous TV Newsladies!

Ooh look pretty pictures! The famous journalistic news-reporting organization Vogue profiles your Katie Couric, your Rachel Maddow, and wait, who’s this? We seem to have seen this one somewhere, recently… If you click through to Comments and scroll down just enough, you can now see six (6) images of Campbell Brown on this web site: top, side, and middle of the screen, plus the “live” Ms. Brown and her two posters in the Vogue photo. (YOU’RE WELCOME.) Campbell Brown is the Saparmurat Niyazov of American cable news. [Vogue] Read more on Vogue Features Famous TV Newsladies!…
  racism

Ed Rendell Thinks Napolitano Will Do Well At Homeland Security, Despite Her Vagina

Loveable Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has opened his fat trap yet again, this time on a hot mic, to celebrate the selection of Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security. He tells a friend that she’ll do well because she’s a fucking unmarried childless loser: “Janet’s perfect for that job. Because for that job, you have to have no life. Janet has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19, 20 hours a day to it.” Because what the hell else does she have to do, cry all day like a baby, which, again, she’s never had? Does she even have one friend, anywhere?? Also: what is this “thing” that Campbell Brown is doing now, “Cutting Through The Bull.” CNN has no business Dobbsifying this nice lady. [YouTube, Philly Inquirer] Read more on Ed Rendell Thinks Napolitano Will Do Well At Homeland Security, Despite Her Vagina…
 

Who’s Hotter: Suzanne Malveaux or Campbell Brown?

For years, we’ve been totally crushing on Suzanne Malveaux (left) — the name, those eyes, that face! She had us from the first minute we saw her. Sure, we’ve had feelings about Campbell Brown (right) — she’s the pretty, wholesome girl next door, except really really hot. And she’s named after a soup! Yum! So, imagine our conflicted feelings as we count down the minutes to tonight’s presidential debate which is hosted by both of them. Help us decide once and for all: Who is hotter? Read more on Who’s Hotter: Suzanne Malveaux or Campbell Brown?…
 

Wednesday Morning Massacrette: To Take Over from Scotty, Maybe Not the Hottie

Last month, we predicted that Scott McClellan would be gone as White House press secretary by the summer. That prediction has now come to pass. We also suggested that McClellan might be replaced by the exceedingly attractive Dana M. Perino, just promoted to serve as Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Press Secretary. Perino was being groomed for the job after Trent Duffy made clear that he wasn’t interested. Read more on Wednesday Morning Massacrette: To Take Over from Scotty, Maybe Not the Hottie…
 

Wonkette’s Week in Review

* The big news of the week: according to a new court filing in the Scooter Libby prosecution, Libby testified that he leaked information about a National Intelligence Estimate with the specific permission of President Bush. Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review…
 

Today in Crazy Talk and Unsourced Rumor-Mongering

On Tuesday, we revealed the terrifying truth about Campbell Brown’s imaginary mobster brother. Today, another emailer who can’t wrap his mind around the idea of an attractive media figure marrying an attractive political insider for non-conspiratorial reasons. This crazy email, alas, is run-of-the-mill IJC Zionist Plot theorizing, and not full-on lunatic rambling: Read more on Today in Crazy Talk and Unsourced Rumor-Mongering…
 

Gossip Roundup: What Will Campbell Do?

* Reliable Source: Third television pilot for the fall is shot in D.C. . . Bob Woodruff has returned home for outpatient treatment. . . Margaret Thatcher spotted at the Four Seasons. [WP] * Inside the Beltway: Laura Bush remained “totally calm” while Secret Service warned of threat to Crawford compound, according to Ronald Kessler. . . The White House recently screened a documentary by Jacques Cousteau‘s son. [WT] * Page Six: Is Campbell Brown converting to Judaism for Dan Senor? . . . Bill Clinton “killed two vodkas with lime standing at the bar with the owner” of a New York restaurant while waiting for his takeout. [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: What Will Campbell Do?…
 

Today In Crazy Talk: Married To the Mob

There’s nothing we love more than reprinting your unsubstantiated rumor and innuendo — seriously, we love that stuff, and we’re always looking for more of it. But sometimes, even we have to draw the line. A pretty good illustration of that line arrived in our inboxes earlier today. Here, for your edification: The Campbell Brown Rumor Too Hot Even For Wonkette: Read more on Today In Crazy Talk: Married To the Mob…
 

Wonk’d: A Slow Week in Celeb Sightings

What the heck is going on? Are famous people abandoning our fair city — or are you, our readers, just not sending in enough sightings to us? After the jump, a handful of desultory Wonk’d items. We were so hard up for sightings that most of our items involve D.C. types spotted hundreds of miles away from the District. We know that you can do better for next week. Please email us your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Much thanks! Read more on Wonk’d: A Slow Week in Celeb Sightings…
 

Campbell Brown Engaged to Dan Senor

Another successful woman who is not as smart as Maureen Dowd! We hear that NBC anchorlady Campbell Brown is hanging up her goodtime-girl spurs and getting coalitional with one-time government spokeshunk Dan Senor, currently a Fox New contributor and Jeff Zeleny impersonator. We have been told, repeatedly, that Brown is a girl after our own liver and other body parts (though hers are prettier) so though we are very tempted to make a knocking boots joke, we’ll just advise her: Being married means always having someone to hold your hair back. — WONKETTE Read more on Campbell Brown Engaged to Dan Senor…
 

Inside the Bubble: What’s That Opinion Worth to You?

• The New York Times started charging for what today? Mo-who? [Gawker] • Talking head soundbites back: “don’t force me to engage in an artificial debate just to create ‘fireworks.'” [Romenesko] • “Here lies the guy who proved that Bush evacuated his bowels.” [NYT] • Jake Tapper was born to blog. And we mean that in the best possible way. Mostly. [Down and Dirty] • Campbell Brown to replace Katie Couric? They will have to install that empathy chip. [TVNewser] Read more on Inside the Bubble: What’s That Opinion Worth to You?…
 

Gossip Roundup: Frist’s Teddy Bear

• Washington Whispers: RNC distributed daily talking points to about 80 pundits and hosts to ensure message discipline about Roberts. . . Rumsfeld signed a “severe weather execution order” two weeks before Katrina that authorized the quick deployment of military personnel. . . Frist gets folksy, brags about practicing surgery on his teddy bear. . . Campbell Brown‘s reports from the Gulf Coast have raised her chances of replacing Katie, Peter, or Dan. . . Don Evans broke his collarbone while biking with Bush. . . Michael Brown is looking for a job in public relations. [USN&WR] • Inside the Beltway: Friedman, McCullough top lawmakers’ reading lists. [WT] • Page Six: Michael Moore, Sean Penn helping Katrina relief. [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Frist’s Teddy Bear…