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Posts Tagged ‘campaigns’

HOORAY!

Thursday, September 10th, 2009
  • RANDOM DEMOCRAT IN SOUTH CAROLINA GETS RICH, FOR DOING NOTHING: We have been watching the campaign donation tally since last night for Democrat Rob Miller, 2010 opponent of weird shouter guy Joe Wilson, and holy baloney. Earlier today it was $100,000, then $150,000, but according to whatever most recent e-mail whatever liberal organization just sent out, it is now $450,000! Think of all the free Joe Wilson apparel he can buy with this sum, especially with those “South Carolina prices.” [AP]

EMAIL OF THE DAY

Joshua Goldberg Wants To Have His Say!

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

At least he's not secretly married to K-Lo!How do we know for sure that the secret third half of the Lucianne/Jonah Goldberg conspiracy is not actually K-Lo? Because Joshua actually wrote to Wonkette on Friday night, when we all know perfectly well that Fridays are Jonah and K-Lo’s “Moral Netflix & Fish Sticks Night.” MORE »


WHAT'S SHE BUILDING?

Watch Out, Because Hillary’s Got $3 Million In New Campaign Money

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Nobama, ever.Jesus christ: “Clinton’s $22 million in campaign debts (a good chunk of it owed to herself), has somehow now turned into some $3+ million in cash on hand and still growing, some in her old Senate fund and some in her defunct presidential campaign war chest.” MORE »


ELEGIES

Mark McKinnon’s Mournful Ode To John McCain’s Terrible Campaign

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Still. Can't. Quit. You.Mark McKinnon is the saddest of sad Republicans in all the sad land. This weekend he sadly penned a column for Tina Brown’s Toothsome Amphigory Concerning Certain Swamp Monsters about how his old friend John McCain was forced, by the economy, to run a mean campaign about nothing. Also, John McCain is Seabiscuit and Barack Obama is Secretariat. That means Obama, like FDR, will win the “Triple Crown” of the Presidency (i.e. polio). MORE »


HILLARY CLINTON

Endless Campaign Means Endless Campaign Staffer Sex!

Friday, April 18th, 2008

Today’s Wall Street Journal broadsheet features a delightful feature about the endless Democratic primary’s steamy silver-lining: hot cross-campaign-pollinating sexy times. Rowr! As the Journal notes, “The most heated presidential primary in recent history has drawn a record number of new voters, galvanized young Americans and forced the nation to confront deep-rooted race and gender issues. It also got Brendan Gilfillan a girlfriend.” Brendan Gilfillan, you sluuuuuut! MORE »


DEMOCRATS

How To Brainwash Your Hillary-Loving Old Parents

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

Actual photo of Wonkette's Justin Charity at some Obama rally.Do you have parents? Are they voting for Barack? Probably not. This is apparently a huge problem for his campaign: everybody wants to vote for Barry Obama, but nobody’s parents want to vote for him. Old people are hopeless.

MORE »


DEMOCRATS

Chris Matthews Mulls Doomed Senate Bid?

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Pennsylvania, meet your next senatorHey remember how a couple years ago Rumors circulated regarding Chris Matthews’ supposed Senate run? Well, they are circulating again, this time courtesy of Nixon-loving GOP strategist and Arlen Specter pal Roger Stone. He says that Matthews has been “quietly sounding out Democrats across Pennsylvania” about running against Specter in 2010. However, Matthews is destined to lose because he is always running off at the mouth, plus he is insane, and nobody wants a spit-speckled maniac for a senator unless they are from Alaska. But that won’t stop Chris Matthews! MORE »


DEMOCRATS

Campaign Staff Also Sick & Tired Of Presidential Campaign

Monday, March 17th, 2008

The Clinton zombies are racist.“There is the abandoned $1,000-a-month temporary apartment in Des Moines, littered with dirty T-shirts and a deflated air mattress.” Eliot Spitzer’s love nest? A place to have men fuck you in front of your wife after dinner at T.G.I.F.? Not according to the liberal New York Times. MORE »


HILLARY CLINTON

Clinton Advisor Terry McAuliffe Rips Clinton Adviser Mark Penn For Ripping Clinton Advisers For Ripping Mark Penn

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Many Democrats are worried about the party’s doom scenario that might result from big Clinton wins today: Hillary Clinton will do anything to win the nomination, and that may include staying in the race! But the silly Democrats have nothing to worry about, because very soon the various Clinton advisers will have destroyed each other, and Hillary will be a roving cat lady trying to find her way home. First Harold Ickes blamed the campaign’s failures on Mark Penn, then Mark Penn blamed it on Harold Ickes, Patti Solis Doyle and anyone who isn’t himself. Now Team Hillary’s chairman, Terry McAuliffe, is telling Penn to shut his fat Bowser mouth. MORE »


HILLARY CLINTON

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Cry, FraudbotAND NOW HILLARY’S DEPUTY CAMPAIGN MANAGER IS GONE: WaPo’s Chris Cillizza says deputy manager Mike Henry is gone, too. But he’s not a photogenic Latina woman, so we won’t run his picture.


CAMPAIGNS

Obama’s Luo Tribesmen Give Campaign $32 Million

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Barack Obama raised $32 million in the month of January alone. As Politico’s Ben Smith notes, “That would be more than $1 million a day.” Indeed, it is actually $750 million dollars a day. Barry also brought in 170,000 new donors, a.k.a. “Suckers for Hope.” This explains how he’s been able to buy such heavy advertising in the expensive Los Angeles market, with Change. [The Trail, Ben Smith]