campaigns
Hey there, you might want to put down your Fritos for a second, because this is gross: In 2005, “being obese or overweight caused an estimated 216,000 deaths from heart disease, diabetes and other conditions, researchers estimated, while another 191,000 deaths resulted from being physically inactive.” Do you hear that? If you sit on your [...]
We have been following Michelle Obama’s television escapades – most recently, an appearance on The Biggest Loser and Colbert – and we are not the only ones. Fox News would like you to know that Michelle Obama is now the “most televised” First Lady. When she’s not secretly plotting the Obama administration’s next move in [...]
Stephen Colbert announced on Thursday night’s show that yessireebob, he is running for president! Again! That is to say, to bow to tradition, he’s exploring running for president, and spent basically the entire show minus the interview segment learning from his lawyer (and former Federal Election Commission chairman) Trevor Potter about the very uncomplicated exploratory [...]
Pictured is this bossy new page in the merch section of Rick Santorum’s official website. Yes, our dreams have come true. Rick Santorum has read all the Google alerts about his sweater vests, he sees that he has received the coveted honor of being called a Trend by the New York Times (“For Santorum, Sweater [...]
Herman Cain is a pumpkin-headed creepy narcissist businessman who likes to repeat single-digit numbers and say stupid things. For reasons he cannot begin to explain, this Washington lobbyist and shit-food merchant allowed the release of a “web commercial” that shows a dirty old man saying weird things about Herman Cain and then melodramatically smoking a [...]
What in the living hell? WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? Who is this ominous creep smoking into our faces as he strangles our children? Why won’t Herman Cain do his own “dirty work”? [YouTube, ugh, via Wonkette operative "Benjamin G."]
Oh hooray, it’s Snowbilly Grifter Grandma and her bus tour, rolling across the ruins of the American Dream once more. What was this bus tour called, again? The Trail of Tears? Probably something like that, and we were close to believing that Sarah Palin had really decided to snowshoe her way back to the wilderness [...]
You know things are horrible in American Politics when a guy campaigning for U.S. Senate on a platform of free trade/space colonization and ending the minimum age so bums can work as low-paid “government helpers” sounds more reasonable than actual senators currently in positions of great power. Courtesy of Wonkette commenter/operative AnnieGetYerFun, here’s some of [...]
Capping off perhaps the most exciting pre-campaign campaign since fictional candidate Tim Pawlenty’s campaign was accidentally announced on a website on a Sunday night, Mitt Romney today announced he was really doing that thing he has been doing non-stop since approximately 1996: running for president. The health-reform Mormon returned to his roots in liberal Massachusetts [...]
Your Wonkette has already told you about Congresscreep Meechellle Backmann‘s brand-new campaign commercial starring “Jim the Election Guy,” an android-like EveryBro who talks all dumb-like about Bachmann’s challenger, “Taxin’ Tarryl” Clark, while standing with his legs wide apart the whole time (it’s weird). Now Clark has responded with her own ad, and it’s got not [...]
OH NO WATCH OUT MICHELE BACHMANN THERE’S A BUS BEHIND YOU! Oh, LOLZ, just kidding — that beautiful luxury coach in the back is the Minnesota Congresslady’s own special tour bus to ride around her district in, shaking her moneymaker to replenish the ol’ campaign coffers. She liked the Sarah Palin and Tea Party buses, [...]
Nevada scribe Sharron Angle believes that the color black is satanic! Or at least she used to, before her campaign advisers started telling her to appear more “tolerant.” Senator Harry Reid also is satanic, which is why he’s making t-shirts with this design, which mocks Angle for once campaigning against black high-school football jerseys full [...]
Religion/national security/energy/feminism expert @SarahPalinUSA might be losing her magical touch when it comes to stumping for the nation’s Republican candidates, speculates the new peer-reviewed political science journal The Hill. Both Washington Senate candidate Clint Didier and Wyoming wannabe governor Rita Meyer just lost their primaries despite having Palin’s endorsement, joining a losers’ circle that includes [...]
