Tag: Campaigning

Warrior president.

Rick Santorum Has One Supporter In Iowa, And Her Name Is Peggy

Poor Rick Santorum. He has been trying so hard to get somebody to care about the fact that he is running for president, but nobody does. And in a race to see which GOP candidate can out-wingnut them all,...

Get Ready To Get Down At Some Gay Weddings At Mitt Romney’s House!

This Thursday, Mitt Romney's unlikable, Bill Clinton's talking some awkward talk, and Barack Obama is making money. This is news? Unlike Bill Clinton, Mitt Romney is a terrible neighbor. Somehow he is gentrifying his already rich neighborhood and alienating his...

John Boehner Has New Bar For ‘Beneath Dignity’ Of Presidency: Obama Flying In His Plane (Video!)

John Boehner is so sad you guys. Won't Obama PLEASE pay up and reimburse the nation for the $179,000 per hour in taxpayer munneez it costs when he goes places and talks to people? Going to colleges and firing...

Michelle Obama Announces Historic 300,000 People Exercising

"Remember all those kids doing jumping jacks at the White House in October?" wondered this story. We obviously did not, but here is a reminder: A few months ago, our FLOTUS decided to teach children the value of exercise...

Obama Back Trying To Trick People To Believe He Wants To Change Politics

Since kicking off his re-election bid with history's least enthusiastic campaign ad, Barack Obama is back on the campaign trail again, simultaneously presenting his dead-in-the-water deficit plan to the country and trying to get people excited to give him...

Romney Going Around Being Personally Coy To Every Citizen of Iowa and N.H.

It was four days before the 2010 midterm elections, and Romney was making the Granite State rounds. People applauded him for just walking into a room. At the neocolonial estate of one wealthy contributor, the former Massachusetts governor glided...

Mitt Romney Wins Some Sort of Fundraising Contest the Washington Post Set Up

Mitt Romney raised more money for his PAC than any of the other supposed Republican candidates for president in the 2012 election, so congrats, Mittens, you are the new leader of the free world. Romney came up with $1.8...

We Will Keep Having Primaries Until You People Get It Right

Are you sick of primaries yet? Yes? Too bad! There are several more of them today! Sex maniac Nikki Haley will probably win, after Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin turned her into a proxy for...

McCain Asks Obama To Be Poor With Him

The Passion Of Lincoln Chafee

Remainders: In Jail, TTYL