Tag Archives: campaign strategy

  Barack Who?

Bill Maher Right About A Thing

Sure he's a jerk. And he's dead on this time.
Bill Maher can really be a self-important, sanctimonious asshole at times. Thankfully, this is not one of them. On Real Time this week, Maher laid into all the Democrats who have been running as if Barack Obama were the ineffectual dictator Republicans have said he is. Read more on Bill Maher Right About A Thing…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert’s Many Weird Tricks For Defeating Hillary Clinton (Video)

Here’s Stephen Colbert with a few suggestions for how the GOP can defeat Hillary Clinton, just in case the whole “brain damage” thing doesn’t work out. Gotta get tough — after all, this isn’t the ’90s, when the Clintons got a free pass from the Republicans. For instance, maybe they could take a page the Mississippi Senate primary and float a story about Hillary abandoning “Hillary’s secret bedridden wife.” Now that it’s out there, let’s just see Hillary deny it. The other thing we love about this clip is that apparently it’s taken a couple of years for anyone to make this joke: “Just ask RNC chair and Harry Potter incantation, Reince Priebus…” Read more on Stephen Colbert’s Many Weird Tricks For Defeating Hillary Clinton (Video)…
  o frother where art thou?

Rick Santorum Has Learned Lessons of 2012: If He Had Won, He Wouldn’t Have Lost

Rick Santorum has given it a lot of thought, and he’s figured out that if the true results of the 2012 Iowa Caucus had been reported right away, he’d have been the guy to win the Not Romney Sweepstakes, get the nomination, and lose to Barack Obama. “Had he lost Iowa, then the air of invincibility would’ve been dashed,” Santorum said of his opponent. “Of course, we had a great week raising money, but it wasn’t the same, had we won. If we’d won, I would’ve been on every show the next day, and Time magazine might have had me on the cover. Things like that would’ve really changed the whole thing.” That is some A+++ logic right there (the math science of words), would logic with Rick Santorum again! So does this mean he’s going to step aside from making awful movies (teaser: review coming soon!) and run again? He’s definitely been giving it some thought, because now he’s whatchacall “seasoned.” Or past his sell-by date, or something. Read more on Rick Santorum Has Learned Lessons of 2012: If He Had Won, He Wouldn’t Have Lost…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Does Topless Magazine Cover For Filthy Europeans

Here is the great news for those of us who have longed for some FLOTUS in our lives these past few days: Michelle Obama is involved in another scandal again, and surprise surprise, it involves Spain and France and being an African and, oh wait, NUDITY. And once our nation’s bucket hat-wearing slobs and zombie white ladies finish fantasizing about what Clint Eastwood would say to them if they were an empty chair (gross!) they will probably get around to being “appalled” that our First Lady is a naked slave on a foreign magazine. Or they will fight for as many copies as they can get their creepy, trembling hands on. Actually, they will probably experience both of these reactions simultaneously. So what now, Ann Romney, homemaker/equestrian? Read more on Michelle Obama Does Topless Magazine Cover For Filthy Europeans…
  department of corrections

Chuck Todd Takes It All Back, Everything Is Awesome In McCain Campaign

Charming hairfaced news-geek Lothario Chuck Todd said all sorts of amazing things on Hardball last night about how John McCain and Sarah Palin appear to despise each other, and how their campaign staff are all tired and annoyed and full of hate for the world, and so on. It was wondrously candid! (Chuck Todd is in the tank, obviously.) Of course this morning the blog he co-authors had to run an unattributed sort-of retraction. Full text after the jump. Read more on Chuck Todd Takes It All Back, Everything Is Awesome In McCain Campaign…
  techmologies

Mean Obama Ad Mocks John McCain For Talking On Brick Phone

Barack Obama has taken off his gloves again and this is what we have, America: a goofy ad that points out John McCain can’t use a computer. The ad itself is so double-reverse-bizarro-meta ironic that it features that lame cursive font your local PTA likes to use on bake sale flyers. If this is their national media strategy, then we should all hope that the Obama team’s vaunted “ground game” is as sharp as ever. [“Still” Ad] Read more on Mean Obama Ad Mocks John McCain For Talking On Brick Phone…
  tomfoolery

Former McCain Strategist Does Not Like New McCain Strategy

John Weaver left John McCain’s campaign a year ago and ever since he has been mournfully briefing the press on how crappily his old friend is running things. Yesterday, in the wake of the dumb commercial calling Barack Obama a Eurofag pop star, Weaver talked with the Atlantic‘s Marc Ambinder and unloaded a little bit more. Read more on Former McCain Strategist Does Not Like New McCain Strategy…
  dissemblers

David Axelrod Lies Hilariously About Patti Solis Doyle Hiring Blowback

By March or April or whenever it was that she got fired, everybody knew that Patti Solis Doyle was personally responsible for every single thing that went wrong with the Clinton campaign, except for the things Mark Penn and Bill Clinton and the candidate herself and even Harold Ickes were responsible for. Ms. Doyle was banished to her native Chicago uranium mines with only her public humiliation to keep her company, until the Obama campaign hired her, with predictable results: the Clinton people went insane with rage. Read more on David Axelrod Lies Hilariously About Patti Solis Doyle Hiring Blowback…
  all out of love

McCain Resentful That Press Has New, Hotter Girlfriend

For 400 glorious years, John McCain has gotten daily handjobs from the national press corps because he lets them sit in the back of the bus with him while he dispenses salty bons mots and makes inappropriate jokes. But now all the favorable press coverage goes to Barack Obama, because he gets more people to come to his rallies. John McCain knows how Hillary Clinton feels now, which is why he’s stealing such winning moves from her playbook as “Change you can replicate with some sort of technology” and hiring a campaign team that fights pitched internecine battles on the front page of the New York Times. Read more on McCain Resentful That Press Has New, Hotter Girlfriend…
 

Leak-Free Obama Staff Annoys Reporters

The frustrating 2008 Democratic primary season has been made even more insufferable by the Obama campaign staff’s refusal to talk smack about any of their coworkers. This leaves a bitter press corps with no fun tidbits to write about, which is why it’s still good that Hillary Clinton is in the race. Basically, Barack Obama is like the George Bush of 2000, commanding a team of eerily happy and loyal drones who will all become torture-loving yes-men once they seize the reins of power. The secrets to Barack’s success, after the jump. Read more on Leak-Free Obama Staff Annoys Reporters…
 

Mark Penn’s Bloated Carcass Thrown Under Clinton Campaign Bus

Hillary Clinton hasn’t even lost the nomination yet, but that hasn’t kept her underlings from turning on each other like a pack of angry gerbils. And now that they don’t have Patti Solis Doyle to kick around anymore, who’s the next target? Why, it’s the “message guru” who’s so good at what he does that nobody understands him! Read more on Mark Penn’s Bloated Carcass Thrown Under Clinton Campaign Bus…
 

He Doesn’t Need Your Flyover State

Giuliani, once the iron-willed, practically unbeatable mayor of 9/11 has realized that his bullshit Nu Yawker faux conviviality crazy-eyed ferretty genius doesn’t play in many of the early primary states. So, he’s saying fuck it. Fuck Iowa, Fuck New Hampshire, Fuck South Carolina, he doesn’t need to win there as long as he can con old people in Florida (ex New Yorker snowbirds) and California to vote for him. He’s basically running the Democrats’ regular strategy (get the big blue states and some of the swing states) in the Republican primary, figuring that the red states will stay red in the general. Also, his campaign manager calls him “momentum-proof,” by which we think he meant that Rudy doesn’t need no stinkin’ momentum like all the candidates before him in order to win, but what it actually means it that he can’t possibly build any and that’s probably more accurate. [NY Times] Read more on He Doesn’t Need Your Flyover State…
 

Obama Appeals to Indian-American Voters

Following hot on the heels of the news that Oprah will be drumming up support for him among African-American and women voters, the Obama camp has set their sites on wooing the crucial Indian- American community. The above Bollywood-style campaign video features Obama speaking what we can only assume is Hindi and doing a little bit of dancing to a slamming techno-style beat. We think he might just be jealous of Mike Gravel. Read more on Obama Appeals to Indian-American Voters…