campaign ads
Michigan senatorial candidate Rep. Pete Hoekstra — pronounced “HOOKER,” in his terrorist Dutch inflection — went on the teevee yesterday to defend his comically racist ad about the evil lady in China or Vietnam (who cares) who, thanks to Sen. Debbie Stabenow, has stolen all of America’s jobs in Vietnamese or Chinese rice paddies. “There’s [...]
White guys! Rapping! About Newt Gingrich! In 1994! That is all we can say about this, because we can’t understand anything else about this old campaign ad from the Dukes of Hazzard guy whose congressional seat Newt stole. There should be a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT requiring all political attack ad scripts to be rapped, from now [...]
Here is Rick Santorum’s latest campaign ad “Rebellion,” a modern bigoted man’s knockoff of Apple’s famous “1984″ ad, except that the girl who is supposed to be wearing hot pants is wearing mom jeans and instead of Apple’s old rainbow pride logo flashing up at the end it’s, ha ha, clips of Rick Santorum grinning [...]
Here’s an interesting sales pitch from some super PAC supporting Michele Bachmann which we will now (pretty closely) paraphrase for you: “Professional football player Tim Tebow is not very smart, he has a problem with accuracy, and his holier-than-thou Christian shtick is incredibly irritating to many observers — which makes him exactly like Michele Bachmann.” [...]
Rick Perry’s comprehensive new policy platform for “fixin’ shit” is just to slash Congress’ $174,000 annual paychecks in half and cut back on the time that Congress spends in Washington, as punishment for making everyone hate them. This is Rick Perry’s huge “solution” to everything according to his new campaign ad, an idea that has [...]
Hey, everyone remember that weird attack ad Karl Rove’s sweatshop of joyless video editor-slaves at Crossroads GPS slapped together a few weeks ago accusing Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren of hating “job creation” because she, um, sympathized with the concerns of the unemployed and Occupy Wall Street? Yeah, so: how well has this strategy worked [...]
Only a genius with an IQ of 500 like Rick Perry could finally fit the puzzle pieces together in what can be called the great Da Vinci Code riddle of our time: why did Barack Obama really want to allow gays to openly serve in the military? So that “our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas” [...]
Here is a political campaign ad that perfectly illustrates why it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between high-concept video art and complete crap, and why they are sometimes (usually) the same thing. WHUT, dear Vishnu, is any of this? Whatever it is, we like it. It’s equal parts D+ horror movie trailer, Taiwanese [...]
Here is comical sleazeball Rick Perry’s latest Iowa campaign ad, in which Rick Perry takes up thirty seconds of your life to talk into the camera and explain without any hint of irony that he is “not a talker” as some happy frolicking elf music plays in the background. Will America finally fall in love [...]
There is that saying, about imitation and flattery and whatever, but all we know is that here is another insane campaign commercial starring a bunch of demon creatures, not unlike the beloved Demon Sheep of Carly Fiorina, circa 2010. This strange video does not really come close to being that terrifying, but it is still [...]
Here is the new trailer for the nightmare horror film about Rick Perry becoming President! It is difficult to tell what is happening, because there are no shots in this trailer longer than .024 seconds and there is A LOT OF NOISE (seriously, turn down the volume if you are watching at work), but the [...]
Geez, the 85 or so spam emails we get from Michele Bachmann’s campaign begging for money each week are apparently going unheeded, since this latest campaign video appears to have been recorded for the rental price of the plastic tree in the background and shot on Marcus’s laptop computer camera in a dank office hallway [...]
Hilarious Campaign Ad Proves Obama Thinks America Is Lazy
by Wonkette Jr.
You all know Barack Obama to be an America-hating half-Muslin, but what you didn’t know, maybe, is that he also thinks Americans are lazy according to this very funny Rick Perry ad that takes a recent Obama soundbite criticizing American business strategy out of context. And while health care reform/spreading jihad/not getting born here are [...]