campaign ads
Yes, friends, your beloved election girlfriend and California GOP candidate for U.S. Senate Orly Taitz has finally found the time don a suit of medieval armor, sit down with a tank of nitrous oxide pilfered from the dental office supply closet along with one hundred cigarettes and then take alternating puffs on each until she [...]
Remember all those wacky 2010 political ads from the idiots who are now all in Congress or running every state? (Except for Carly Fiorina?) Some jackass would squat on the ground and bang his head with a frying pan while eating Cheetoz through his nose, or what have you — this was every entry level [...]
Leading small-animal snuff film auteur Herman Cain has taken a brief respite from murdering rabbits to bring us this late-breaking newsflash that Newt Gingrich is now too awful to keep company with people who murder rabbits: “I even endorsed Newt Gingrich at one point because I thought that he had a shot. Well, not now. [...]
Will you be spending quality religious time this weekend with your family for either Easter or, what’s the other one… Jewish Easter? It was only a few millennia ago — seems like yesterday — that Jesus Christ was crucified and reincarnated as a anthropomorphic bunny in a bow tie who delivered chocolate eggs to the [...]
Rick Santorum was on the right track, aesthetically, when his ad people put a poop gun in the hands of a savage Mitt Romney impersonator and had him shoot hot poop at a Rick Santorum cut-out. It was completely insane and gross and off-putting, but it was hilarious, and that’s more important than winning elections. [...]
Since Newt Gingrich is a bitter, complaining gasbag who nonetheless half-asses his plans for world domination in the course of putting most of his energy into reminding everyone of his hurt feelings, it makes sense that his new ad trying to appeal to Latino voters is just a cheap video shot in a single location [...]
Ron Paul is doing all the work for his absolute best best best friend in history, Mitt Romney. Look at this here scary new ad about Rick Santorum, perhaps titled “Rick Santorum Voted For Everything That Everyone Except Me Voted For,” such as the foreign aid budget and hikes in the debt ceiling. Are Ron [...]
Vainglorious turd blossom Newt Gingrich is running out of wealthy dupes to write him checks allowing him to prolong his hilariously doomed book-tour candidacy, so he is out with a tragic new campaign ad, which as one can see from the screen grab mostly features Newt begging for treats like a dazed zoo seal performing [...]
Michigan senatorial candidate Rep. Pete Hoekstra — pronounced “HOOKER,” in his terrorist Dutch inflection — went on the teevee yesterday to defend his comically racist ad about the evil lady in China or Vietnam (who cares) who, thanks to Sen. Debbie Stabenow, has stolen all of America’s jobs in Vietnamese or Chinese rice paddies. “There’s [...]
White guys! Rapping! About Newt Gingrich! In 1994! That is all we can say about this, because we can’t understand anything else about this old campaign ad from the Dukes of Hazzard guy whose congressional seat Newt stole. There should be a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT requiring all political attack ad scripts to be rapped, from now [...]
Here is Rick Santorum’s latest campaign ad “Rebellion,” a modern bigoted man’s knockoff of Apple’s famous “1984″ ad, except that the girl who is supposed to be wearing hot pants is wearing mom jeans and instead of Apple’s old rainbow pride logo flashing up at the end it’s, ha ha, clips of Rick Santorum grinning [...]
Here’s an interesting sales pitch from some super PAC supporting Michele Bachmann which we will now (pretty closely) paraphrase for you: “Professional football player Tim Tebow is not very smart, he has a problem with accuracy, and his holier-than-thou Christian shtick is incredibly irritating to many observers — which makes him exactly like Michele Bachmann.” [...]
