Wonkette

Hillary’s election strategy is legendarily flawed, what with it making her lose and all. Look at the classic fable of New Jersey and Idaho on Super Tuesday: Hillary puts all her time into winning the big state, ignores Idaho, while Obama holds one mega-rally in Boise. She wins New Jersey’s delegates 59-48 (+11, for those of you who hate Elite Math) while Obama win’s Idaho’s delegates 15-3 (+12). Was it just stubbornness, or did she think she would win New Jersey by a larger amount? A new Time article reveals that this poor strategy stemmed from the simplest possible explanation: Chief Strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn had no idea what “apportioned delegates” were. He literally did not know the rules of the Democratic party’s nominating process. MORE »

Thousands of dockworkers from Seattle to San Diego didn’t show up at work today, forcing the closure of all 29 ports in the Western United States — including the busiest American ports at Los Angeles and Long Beach. What the hell? MORE »

At this weekend’s California Democratic convention, Bill Clinton met privately with some superdelegates from the state. He was charming until someone mentioned Bill Richardson, and then he started yelling at himself, or them, or someone. He was yelling at someone, yes: “The former president then went on a tirade that ran from the media’s unfair treatment of Hillary to questions about the fairness of the votes in state caucuses that voted for Obama. It ended with him asking delegates to imagine what the reaction would be if Obama was trailing by just 1 percent and people were telling him to drop out.” April Fool’s! Bill Clinton is actually dead. [SF Chronicle] MORE »

Remember Hillary Clinton’s big win in Texas due to her ability to answer the phone at 3 a.m. because her husband’s getting sucked off by a fat gal in the Oval Office again? Well, those ads were actually shown in Ohio, and also Barack Obama is handily beating Hillary Clinton, 99 delegates to 95 delegates. What the hell? MORE »

While he may not have won more delegates than Senator Hillary Clinton, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has still won the state of California through sheer force of charm and “momentum.” It turns out that he keeps winning more delegates, even though the polls have been closed for years, but most news organizations can’t bother to update their numbers because they can’t do math. MORE »

HILLARY WINS CALIFORNIA! She’s got 55% right now, with a grand 15% of precincts reporting. Obama’s got 33%. John McCain has won, too! He beat Romney by 20%! Sorry, Obama babies: MSNBC has just projected it for Hitlery!

Hello friends of the West! Our polls just closed. It’s time to hear Chris Matthews and Wolf Blitzer tell us about our new presidents of the Bear Republic of California. WHO WILL WIN???? Let’s do the liveblogging, if Hillary will ever shut up over in New York City. Obama has Alabama, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Utah, Illinois, etc. Hillary got Tennessee, New Jersey, New York, etc., who cares, it’s Californication Time! MORE »

The two California Democratic primary polls that ended yesterday — Zogby and SurveyUSA — have gone in entirely different directions. We’d like to blame Jesse Jackson for this, somehow. John Zogby tends to overstate the Clinton hatred, but SurveyUSA sounds like CompUSA — a bullshit electronics store — so expect some person to win. [Real Clear Politics]

The accompanying image comes from “Jack” in L.A., who writes:

I live in LA, and I have been noticing the Paultards littering my beautiful city with their Ron Paul “Revolution” campaign signs in peculiar places. Attached is a photo of a Ron Paul campaign sign that has been heavily “tagged” by a member of a local Crip set near the Fairfax Ave. I-10 Freeway off-ramp. Having lived in LA all my life, I possess a decent understanding about tagging/graffiti, and this particular tagger was reclaiming his/her turf from the Paultards. Starting gang wars is not the the intended reaction the Ron Paul street team expected with their urban/guerrilla PR campaign.

ARNOLD ENDORSES McCAIN WHILE ARNOLD’S KENNEDY WIFE ENDORSES OBAMA: The rich really are different — they’re all insane! Schwarzenegger endorsed John McCain last week, after Rudy Giuliani dropped out in disgrace, and after Schwarzenegger weakly claimed he wouldn’t endorse anyone. But at a “surprise appearance” (with Oprah) in Los Angeles on Sunday, Arnold’s trophy-Kennedy wife Maria Shriver said she’s endorsing Barack Obama. WTF? Aren’t the various first couples supposed to at least pretend they’re on the same team? [New York Sun/Baltimore Sun]