Tag Archives: california

  Measles party? Sick!

Want To Go To A Measles Party? No, You Don’t

polka dot party!
If you get an invitation to a really fresh soiree in Marin County, CA, you will probably want to go, because Party! And what a cute invite, with the polka dots and everything, even though it is bring-your-own-sippy-cup to share, huh, that’s weird. Make sure you read that invite carefully, because it might be inviting you to A Measles Party! Haha, that’s sick! Or we might just be reading too much into things we see on the interwebs, you never know. Read more on Want To Go To A Measles Party? No, You Don’t…
  Cool trend bro

Let’s Thank Rick Perry For Giving Anti-Vaxxers The Freedom To Give Our Kids Measles

Sometimes he likes to imagine being president
Oh, swell, it’s another reason to dislike former Texas Gov. Rick Perry. In addition to being a jerkhole in general, with a fetish for executin’ in the name of the law and denying health care to ladies in the name of the lord, we can thank him for empowering anti-vaxxers to be all, “I do not want to protect my child from diseases, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!” Thanks, Rick. Read more on Let’s Thank Rick Perry For Giving Anti-Vaxxers The Freedom To Give Our Kids Measles…
  It's totally the undocumented kids' fault

GOP Blaming Immigrants For Diseases GOP Doesn’t Believe In

His brain is broken.
Although some conservative talk show hosts these days are leaning toward believing that measles is no big deal, Republican politicians are starting to frantically cast around for someone to blame, because, omg, measles is kind of a big deal! Hey, didn’t Louie Gohmert say something about that last summer, something about immigrant kids? With the scabies and lice? Those are sort of like measles! It turns out that some really good people to blame are undocumented children. They are perfect scapegoats, on account of how they are often brown, and they are small and they can’t vote. Read more on GOP Blaming Immigrants For Diseases GOP Doesn’t Believe In…
  Toxic Sludge Is Good For You!

Oil Companies Pumping Waste Into California’s Water, It’s Probably Fine

Here, try some iced fracking fluid.
This story supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil and Chemical Spills, Fracking, and Groundwater Enhancement You probably heard about this big drought in California, especially if you live there and you haven’t washed your car for months because of rationing and stuff (as opposed to those of us who just don’t wash our cars because we call road dust a “patina”). It’s a seriously bad thing, and if your state is pumping so much groundwater that the ground is literally sinking in some areas, then you might just be a bit concerned about the San Fransisco Chronicle’s investigation of oil companies pumping wastewater from drilling operations right down into Central Valley aquifers containing drinkable water. Legally, with permission from state regulators. Since 1983. Read more on Oil Companies Pumping Waste Into California’s Water, It’s Probably Fine…
  All Dots Connected

CA Dad Would Like Anti-Vaxxers To Stop Trying To Kill His Son

It's your right to make everyone around you sick
Not only is refusing to get your kids vaccinated aggressively stupid, it’s also exceedingly selfish, a fact anti-vaxxers will have a hard time dismissing now that 6-year-old leukemia patient Rhett Krawitt has come to national attention. His father is asking the school district to require students to get their damned vaccine shots, unless they have valid medical reasons not to. And “dumb parents just don’t believe in vaccines” is not a medical reason. Read more on CA Dad Would Like Anti-Vaxxers To Stop Trying To Kill His Son…
  Can We Afford To Let Obama Return From Overseas?

Wingnuts Pretty Sure It Was Illegals What Gave Measles To All Our Unvaccinated Kids

Too subtle?
Break out the ominous creepyscary music of your choice — we’re partial to Bernard Hermann ourselves — because it’s time to tell some scary horror stories about the California measles outbreak! So far, at least 78 confirmed cases have been disagnosed across 7 states and Mexico; 48 of those have been traced to Disneyland or Disney California Adventure since the outbreak was first identified, and public health officials say that the large number of unvaccinated people is a main cause of the virus’s widespread transmission. Read more on Wingnuts Pretty Sure It Was Illegals What Gave Measles To All Our Unvaccinated Kids…
  Connect The Dots

Doctors To Fox Host: Vaccinate Your Kids, Idiot

Srs Doctors are Srs
A panel of doctors had very little patience for a Fox News host’s “hurr-durr, LIBERTY” argument Wednesday, rejecting the notion that people should be allowed to opt out of vaccinating their kids simply because they don’t want Big Government pushing them around. On “Happening Now” (which is not a revival of the beloved ’80s sitcom “What’s Happenin’ Now”), host Jenna Lee discussed the current measles outbreak in California, which started at Disneyland and has since led to unvaccinated students being told to stay home from an Orange County high school. And then she unleashed Fox News Worship Words — PERSONAL LIBERTY — and even invoked the specter of federal regulation: Read more on Doctors To Fox Host: Vaccinate Your Kids, Idiot…
  Only Safe Town In California: Needles

Orange County High Schoolers All Have Measles Now, Thanks Anti-Vaxxers!

Surgical mask wouldn't really help. Do not get your medical advice from photoshop.
The measles outbreak that started at Disneyland in late December has been spreading; most recently, it’s hit Huntington Beach High School in Orange County, where 24 unvaccinated students have been told to stay home from school after an infected classmate exposed the school to the disease. Thanks a lot, paranoids who don’t want their precious angels exposed to the imaginary threats of vaccines! Now they’re exposed tot he very real threats of infectious diseases that should have been eradicated decades ago. Read more on Orange County High Schoolers All Have Measles Now, Thanks Anti-Vaxxers!…
  And Lawyers Are Like Pipe Bombs Or Something

California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win

Don't mind me. Just sitting in. Hey, kids, want some loaves and fishes? I have extra
The school board of Chino, California, is being sued by the mean old Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) just because it likes to open its meetings with a few prayers to Jesus. Plus some proselytizing during board meetings, and, OK, offering Bible classes taught with materials from a church, too. Members of the board are pretty sure they’re just doing what George Washington and Jesus want, which is to make sue that God isn’t excluded from public life. At a meeting last week, during which the board voted to seek an attorney to volunteer to defend the case, one board member compared the lawsuit to the recent terrorist attacks in France, because of course the First Amendment is a lot like an automatic rifle. Read more on California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win…
  declare the pennies on your eyes

Don’t Like Getting Boned By State Taxes? Just Be Filthy Rich!

Anti-Fox comments reposted on my Tumbrel account
Here’s something every class warrior on the barricades should know: There isn’t a single state in the entire United States where a poor or middle income person can be assured of paying a lower percent of their income in state and local taxes than a wealthy person. That’s right, comrade! According to a comprehensive study by the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy, literally every state in the country has a regressive tax system, thanks to heavy reliance on sales and excise taxes and insufficiently progressive income taxes (or in many cases, no income taxes at all): Read more on Don’t Like Getting Boned By State Taxes? Just Be Filthy Rich!…
  fever dreams can come true!

Terrible Elite Westside Jerks Now Giving Mickey Mouse Measles

Good job, anti-vaxxers
Disneyland: it’s the Most Magical Place on Earth. So magical that among recent attendees, at least 19 have been diagnosed with measles, a disease much of the planet had essentially eradicated. Despite last week’s nice time about public schools’ ability to require vaccinations because we still dabble in established science, this remains the Land of the Free and you, Jack and Janie Liberty, still get to choose if you want your child to endanger public health. That’s why we lag behind 100+ countries, including Cambodia and Burundi, when it comes to vaccinating our children. Exceptional! Read more on Terrible Elite Westside Jerks Now Giving Mickey Mouse Measles…
  Here have some news n stuff

Ted Cruz Just Gonna Wage A Little All-Out Civil War In The Senate, No Big

But who is he REALLY?
Don’t you just love the smell of Republican civil war in the morning? Actual Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is desperate to show everyone just how grown-up and leadership-y and Get Things Done he can be, but Not-Actual Senate Majority Leader Ted Cruz has other ideas, and he’s not wasting any time enlisting senatorial newbies to help him show those wimpy RINOs who the REAL boss of everyone is: Read more on Ted Cruz Just Gonna Wage A Little All-Out Civil War In The Senate, No Big…
  rap battles

Who Will Be California’s Next Barbara Boxer? (Hint: It Is Probably Scott Brown)

Breaking political news to grandchildren is the pits
Well, it had to happen sometime, and apparently that “sometime” is 2016, because Barbara Boxer, one of the best liberals to ever lib up the Senate chamber with her San Francisco valyews, has announced to her grandson on video that she will not be seeking re-election in 2016, citing her desire to spend more time with her California. Is she RETIRING, though? Golly gee no, because there are still many, many things to be done. We are not certain whether she intended to release this announcement, or whether her grandson set this video to “public” on accident, but it’s out there now, can’t go back! Let’s watch it. I’ll live-blog, you laugh, got it? Me type words, you react in jolly manner. Let’s go: Read more on Who Will Be California’s Next Barbara Boxer? (Hint: It Is Probably Scott Brown)…
  Lifestyle Pages

Mitt Romney Meets With Old Campaign Chums For No Special Reason, Why Do You Ask?

Gather round, kids, and listen good
Mitt Romney gives a lecture about 2016 election at Stanford University. Pic by Stelio Ropokis via Twitter Mitt Romney has been keeping busy since our wayward nation made the biggest mistake of her life by walking away from the blissful comfort of his mechanical, Downy-scented embrace two years ago. Mitt is the forgiving type and has remained in the background of our political lives, just being our friend, because he would hate to think he and the American voters couldn’t be friends anymore. And he’s been meeting up with some of his best buds who, by total coincidence, played integral roles in his last run for president, just to say hi. Read more on Mitt Romney Meets With Old Campaign Chums For No Special Reason, Why Do You Ask?…
  Here have some news n stuff

War In Afghanistan Is Kind Of Over Now, Hooray Or Something!

Glad that's all behind us now
Remember that time we went to war in Afghanistan? Yeah, well, apparently that’s sort of over now, technically speaking. On Sunday, President Obama issued a statement declaring that We Won Woo Hoo! — or, more accurately, we’ve concluded our “combat mission.” We’ve come to understand this means we’ve won the war enough that we can share a collective celebratory high five, but we reserve the right to un-win the war, just in case it doesn’t stick. Because that’s how the U.S. of A rolls now. Read more on War In Afghanistan Is Kind Of Over Now, Hooray Or Something!…
  not all cops

Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big

That's some fine police work, Lou.
In 2009, celebrated Santa Ana Police Detective Andy Alvarez was tasked to investigate a bloody attempted murder case, in which a man in a Jeep pulled up to three teenagers and opened fire on them. Alvarez had two leads. The first was that the shooter reportedly shouted “Delhi,” the name of a Santa Ana street gang, before opening fire. The second was that two of the victims positively identified another kid in the Jeep as Francisco Vega, a former classmate with whom they’d previously had trouble. The OC Weekly reports: Read more on Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big…
  Here have some news n stuff

Stop Hating America So We Can Look Into This Benghazi Thing For The First Time Ever

How good do you heart America?
Talking about torture is just so yesterday. And besides, there is no reason to talk about bad things our country might have done, because we’re America, and we don’t do bad things. And if you say that we do, well, you obviously hate this country and freedom and George Washington. Love it or leave it, haters, because America is THE BEST. So let’s put that unpleasantness whole our government-raped-and-murdered-prisoners thing behind us, because we have far more important things to talk about. Things that really matter. You know what that is: Read more on Stop Hating America So We Can Look Into This Benghazi Thing For The First Time Ever…
  Choose Your Own A-Gender

Family Research Council Will Fix Constitutional Flaw That Allows Trans Americans Too Much Freedom

Yep, conspiracy to commit murder is right in there!
Could it be that the Religious Right — or at least some parts of it — has finally recognized that trying to reverse decades of civil rights progress by gay people is a lost cause? This might explain why it feels like they’re starting to freak out a lot more often about the threat to the Homeland posed by trans* people using whatever restroom they want. Or, also an optimistic view, they’re freaking out more because the culture as a whole is becoming incrementally friendlier to trans* folks? Read more on Family Research Council Will Fix Constitutional Flaw That Allows Trans Americans Too Much Freedom…
  The Poor Is Coming from Inside the Building

NYC Developers Not Losing Any Opportunity To Be Total Dicks

New York Post Times are tough for developers of luxury housing towers, with killjoys on city councils and planning commissions saying they can’t get massive tax breaks for building concrete-and-glass citadels for the wealthy without including some symbolic “affordable housing.” But who wants to pay three times as much for stainless appliances and rainfall showers only to take the elevator with coupon-clippers? Read more on NYC Developers Not Losing Any Opportunity To Be Total Dicks…
  Here have some news n stuff

RINO George W. Bush Totally Supports Obama’s Goal Of Beating Bad Guys

Is this guy even a Republican?
George Dubya gave an interview on CNN and said some stuff. Like how when he heard about the grand jury in New York refusing to indict the cop who choked Eric Garner to death, it made him “sad that race continues to play such a, you know, kind of emotional, divisive part of life.” And how if his brother Jeb runs for president, he will SO full-on win. And also how it was a real comfort to him sometimes, when he was president, that his daddy had been president too, because his daddy could, like, totally get it, man. Read more on RINO George W. Bush Totally Supports Obama’s Goal Of Beating Bad Guys…
  Some People Just Don't Belong

Rich White Bay Area Community Pretty Sure Little Brown Girl Doesn’t Belong There

The adorable 7-year-old in question, with her Justin Bieber doll.
California is home to the Bradley effect, so in a way, this story shouldn’t surprise us. Nonetheless, this tale is impressive for its imaginative completeness. It is a fully realized vision of the extent to which privileged white people can be horrible, how complaints don’t matter unless they’re registered by the right people, and how public shaming can still work. The story takes place in Orinda, CA, once named the second-friendliest town in America by Forbes. It was originally reported by Inside Bay Area: Read more on Rich White Bay Area Community Pretty Sure Little Brown Girl Doesn’t Belong There…
  justice delayed

Judicial Nice Time: Man Wrongly Convicted Of 1978 Murder Exonerated, Finally

Crimes against fashion are all he's guilty of
Photo by Anne Cusack / Los Angeles Times Here’s a nice change: A story of what happens when the court system gets it right — belatedly, yes, but on a day like this, we’re about one post away from just saying screw it and posting adorable kitten videos all day, so we’ll take what we can get. Read more on Judicial Nice Time: Man Wrongly Convicted Of 1978 Murder Exonerated, Finally…