Wonkette

We seem to be having some economic problems. Los Angeles billionaire Eli Broad (the “B” in KB Homes) tells Bloomberg that “this is worse than any recession we’ve had since World War II.” Bloomberg editors noted, on Friday, that U.S. stock declines hadn’t been so lousy since June of 1930, during that Great Depression. Ah, hell …. MORE »

Rep. John Hall (Dirty Hippie, NY) became a congressman in 2006, when even a naked “soft rock” hippie seemed less dangerous than Mark Foley or Don Sherwood or John Sweeney. Problem is, hippiez r dum! Hall is now sending official congressional spam about the alleged Bush Administration plot to stop solar energy so the Oil Corporates can continue to rule the Earth. Are American enviro-leftists as gullible as the “God DAMN Muslim O’bama’s Christian Church” crowd? Let’s find out! MORE »

Inexplicably retarded Missouri Republican Rep. Sam Graves is still attacking his Democratic opponent, Kay Barnes, and everyone who knows her, for being a bunch of white wine-swilling liberal transgender Christ-molesting San Francisco fags. She is “taking their San Francisco money, and pushing their San Francisco values,” while ignorant gay judges in California turn a blind eye to the rainbow cake that is destroying our very souls. It is Kay Barnes who will give our country to hobbits and lawyers on subprime mortgages, brokered by Terrorists. [YouTube]

California’s Supreme Court just overturned the “gay marriage isn’t legal” thing, and that means the gayest state in America is about to become even more gay, as California will become the second state where homosexuals can get married, to each other. (The other state is Texas.) [MSNBC]

Hillary’s election strategy is legendarily flawed, what with it making her lose and all. Look at the classic fable of New Jersey and Idaho on Super Tuesday: Hillary puts all her time into winning the big state, ignores Idaho, while Obama holds one mega-rally in Boise. She wins New Jersey’s delegates 59-48 (+11, for those of you who hate Elite Math) while Obama win’s Idaho’s delegates 15-3 (+12). Was it just stubbornness, or did she think she would win New Jersey by a larger amount? A new Time article reveals that this poor strategy stemmed from the simplest possible explanation: Chief Strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn had no idea what “apportioned delegates” were. He literally did not know the rules of the Democratic party’s nominating process. MORE »

Thousands of dockworkers from Seattle to San Diego didn’t show up at work today, forcing the closure of all 29 ports in the Western United States — including the busiest American ports at Los Angeles and Long Beach. What the hell? MORE »

At this weekend’s California Democratic convention, Bill Clinton met privately with some superdelegates from the state. He was charming until someone mentioned Bill Richardson, and then he started yelling at himself, or them, or someone. He was yelling at someone, yes: “The former president then went on a tirade that ran from the media’s unfair treatment of Hillary to questions about the fairness of the votes in state caucuses that voted for Obama. It ended with him asking delegates to imagine what the reaction would be if Obama was trailing by just 1 percent and people were telling him to drop out.” April Fool’s! Bill Clinton is actually dead. [SF Chronicle] MORE »

Remember Hillary Clinton’s big win in Texas due to her ability to answer the phone at 3 a.m. because her husband’s getting sucked off by a fat gal in the Oval Office again? Well, those ads were actually shown in Ohio, and also Barack Obama is handily beating Hillary Clinton, 99 delegates to 95 delegates. What the hell? MORE »