california
Point: Obamacare Is Awesome! Counterpoint: Yes It Is!
Good afternoon. We come together in solemnity on this solemn Memorial Day of solemnitude to rap at ya about Obamacare, and how it will kill you dead … WITH GREAT PRICES! Taking the Point that Obamacare is awesome, because “California,” will be your Editrix. Taking the Counterpoint that Yes it is, even though he lives [...]
California Parents: Harvey Milk Molesting Children From Beyond The Grave
It isn’t easy to be a concerned parent these days, with so many threats and dangers to children’s purity lurking around every corner. There’s Michelle Obama trying to teach kids to be healthy and not eat deep fried, bacon-wrapped potato chips with every meal. There are “doctors” and “dentists” trying to put “fluoride” in the [...]
Friday Nice Time: Hugo Chavez Gets Fired Strawberry Pickers Their Jobs Back
Bad news: Last week, when strawberry pickers near Oxnard, California, wanted to GTFO of the heavy smoke from a nearby wildfire, their employers were all “DIAF, dudes, like LITERALLY.” But the workers decided they would rather not die for cheap strawberries, and so the agribidniss fired them for walking off the job. During a fire. [...]
Jerry Brown’s Stormtroopers Might Actually Pry Some Guns From Some Cold Dead Hands, and Other Gun News
Hi diddly ho, Wonkerinos! It has been awhile since we submerged ourselves in the crazy world of America’s most prominent and deadly fetish. Frankly, we were feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the stories of people accidentally blowing away their own toddlers while cleaning their shotguns, and then the useless dicks in Congress killed gun [...]
The Week in Guns: Please Proceed With Your Mansplaining, Jerks
What a week for gun news to wrap our cold dead hands around. We have already told you about the dust-up in the Senate Judiciary Committee when Canadian anchor baby Ted Cruz (R-Pew! Pew!) mansplained the Constitution to Dianne Feinstein and DiFi told him to STFU and DIAF. Readers who know something about DiFi’s history [...]
Fired LAPD Officer Going Django On Everyone’s Asses
You may have heard, there is a fired LAPD cop/former sniper going around murdering everyone, from the daughter of the Police League lawyer who didn’t win his case, to all the lesbi-cops and every other “high value target” in the universe. The LAPD, they are responding by shooting anyone in a blue or black truck, [...]
Jerry Brown Toilet-Talks Rick Perry: Your Anti-Cali Ad Is ‘Barely A Fart’
Rick Perry’s got a plan, y’all! An eeeevil plan, based on stealing all the businesses out of California and bringing them to Texas — because hell, you can do whatever you want in Texas! (Except have decent textbooks.) Rick is obviously aiming to be the Mexico-adjacent-Mexico inside the US for all of businesses everywhere — [...]
Larry Elder Tells Jerry Brown ‘I’m Not Kissing Your Butt,’ Teaches Us All About Debate
California Governor/Sam the Eagle impersonator Jerry Brown appeared the other day on conservative talker Larry Elder’s radio show, but wasn’t granted the easy treatment one would expect from a member of the liberal-loving media like…Larry Elder? As NewsBusters readers know all too well, Democratic elected officials across the fruited plain are used to softball interviews [...]
Story About Losing Orange County Republican Leaves Out That He Is Drunk And Creepy
Here, from our pal and colleague R. Scott Moxley, is a long and detailed article about a sad libertarian Orange County, California, Assemblyman who lost his seat — giving California Dems a supermajority — to some chick. Who’s a teacher. It features old and much-missed friends, like Marilyn Davenport, the nice old lady who was [...]
Your Weekend Nice Time: California Makes It Easier for Lesbos To Have Gaybies
Apparently yr Wonkette is now going to write about nice things every once in a while. Give us a break. It’s the weekend and sometimes it is a lot of work to snark full time. On weekends we like to kick back with a little acapella vocal version of Toto’s Africa (the Editrix informs us [...]
Dad Of Decade Don Haidl Dies
Sometimes people die and it is very, very sad. Sometimes people die, and they are Don Haidl. Haidl was assistant sheriff in Orange County, California, when his son and several of said son’s buddies videotaped themselves gang-raping passed-out 16-year-old acquaintance Jane Doe on a pool table, with a snapple bottle, a pool cue, and a [...]
Newport Beach Yacht Owners: What Could A Dock Cost? A Hundred Dollars?
Newport Beach yacht owners are having the most massively petulant sad because — with their silt-filled harbor undredged since World War II and their seawalls crumbling — the City Council has to raise money to pay for its at-risk infrastructure. This means the yacht owners will no longer be able to pay … wait for [...]
Judge Smacked Down Just For Talking Sense About Your ‘Technical’ Violent Rape
A council on judicial performance has gone and admonished this old Orange County, California, judge, just because he went and said that a woman’s rape — at the hands of an ex-boyfriend/concurrent stalker armed with a “heated screwdriver” and threatening to mutilate her face and vagina with it — was “technical,” and wasn’t “a real [...]
Job-Creating Californians to Be Beheaded With Taxes
Do you hear that, Californians? DO YOU? Because that’s the sound of jobs disappearing from California because our Job Creators will soon have to pay the nation’s highest marginal income taxes. They will pay the same capital gains tax as everyone else and lower property taxes than anyone in the country but still, WON’T SOMEONE [...]
Dennis Prager Channels Elephant Man, Is Shamed By Body, Not An Animal
Sometimes there are slow news days here at yr Wonkette. People are dumb enough, but not funny, or funny enough, but fail to be dumb. Dennis Prager, however, always always comes correct. Whether it is his awesomely casual racism where he explains how black and brown peoples will not read the New York Times, his [...]
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