Wonkette

Oh boo hoo, yet another broke operation wants billions from Henry “Dollar Bill” Paulson: the state of California! MORE »

This clip has been causing “a stir” out in California, according to our tipster, which makes sense, because wtf? Here’s this nice black preacher giving an opening statement to a California State Senate committee about how he, like everyone, wants to take measures reducing emissions, but he also doesn’t want those measures to fuck over his poor community. When he politely finishes, Sen. Pat Wiggins (a “Pat” of the lady variety) very crisply curses at him. He stares at her incredulously, because who does that? WHY DOES PAT WIGGINS DO THAT? [YouTube, North Coast Journal]

Oh now what is this idiot monster chicken up to? No good! He is an envoy from Nick Leibham, the Democratic challenger to Republican Rep. Brian Bilbray in California’s 50th Congressional District — the northern San Diego seat formerly occupied by Duke “Dick” Cunningham. Liebham made the chicken deliver a letter to Bilbray’s office that called him a chicken for agreeing to debates in San Diego. If one actual chicken calls another person a chicken, then is that really an insult? Everyone in California sucks and Brian Bilbray’s vanity daughter “Briana” is hot, the end. [San Diego Union-Tribune, Flickr]

Even though he was just a famous celebrity who never did anything but smoke dope and try to kill Sarah Conner, Arnold Schwarzenegger overcame his popularity and racial background to become California’s favorite governor! Let’s celebrate his life and art, today, on his birthday. MORE »

Short of cleaning restrooms at the Minneapolis airport when Larry Craig’s in town, there is probably no job in America more thankless than running against Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi for her Congressional seat. One brave woman has stepped up to the challenge and is raising a fair amount of money in her quest to become the Republican congresswoman from San Francisco, where a “Republican” is defined as “anyone who doesn’t bring a nipple-pierced gimp to formal events.” MORE »

Everybody in California’s 26th congressional district got this crazy-ass ALL CAPS hand-written freakout from beloved conservative bachelor David Dreier today. You can read the second page of ALL CAPS “MUST DRILL 4 OIL AT SEA WORLD OR ISLAMO FASCISTS WILL KILL KILL KILL” in the comments of basically all blogs everywhere.

The governor of California went on George Stephanopoulos’ show the other day and said he wouldn’t turn down a Cabinet posting from whoever got elected president. In just six months, America will finally have a Secretary of Bipartisan Grabass: perhaps not the one it wants, but the one it deserves. [The Caucus, Top of the Ticket]

We seem to be having some economic problems. Los Angeles billionaire Eli Broad (the “B” in KB Homes) tells Bloomberg that “this is worse than any recession we’ve had since World War II.” Bloomberg editors noted, on Friday, that U.S. stock declines hadn’t been so lousy since June of 1930, during that Great Depression. Ah, hell …. MORE »

Rep. John Hall (Dirty Hippie, NY) became a congressman in 2006, when even a naked “soft rock” hippie seemed less dangerous than Mark Foley or Don Sherwood or John Sweeney. Problem is, hippiez r dum! Hall is now sending official congressional spam about the alleged Bush Administration plot to stop solar energy so the Oil Corporates can continue to rule the Earth. Are American enviro-leftists as gullible as the “God DAMN Muslim O’bama’s Christian Church” crowd? Let’s find out! MORE »

Inexplicably retarded Missouri Republican Rep. Sam Graves is still attacking his Democratic opponent, Kay Barnes, and everyone who knows her, for being a bunch of white wine-swilling liberal transgender Christ-molesting San Francisco fags. She is “taking their San Francisco money, and pushing their San Francisco values,” while ignorant gay judges in California turn a blind eye to the rainbow cake that is destroying our very souls. It is Kay Barnes who will give our country to hobbits and lawyers on subprime mortgages, brokered by Terrorists. [YouTube]

California’s Supreme Court just overturned the “gay marriage isn’t legal” thing, and that means the gayest state in America is about to become even more gay, as California will become the second state where homosexuals can get married, to each other. (The other state is Texas.) [MSNBC]