Tag Archives: cakes we like

  but they wanna use the parks now daddy!

No, Idiots, For The Last Time You Do Not Get To Use National Parks When They Are Closed

Nearly two weeks into the shutdown, the right’s least-pathetic gambit remains their “cakes we like” strategy, in which the impasse would be resolved by passing discrete appropriations for things Republicans support, like national parks. Shut up, Republicans do too support national parks, because they are popular, and Teddy Roosevelt was a Republican, remember? Now Mark Steyn, America’s second most irritating Canadian, is getting in on the act with a column titled “Park Service Paramilitaries” that breaks new ground in the fields of hyperbole and elision. Here’s the opening line: “If a government shuts down in the forest and nobody hears it, that’s the sound of liberty dying.” We are going to be nice and not point out that this sentence either makes no sense at all, or contradicts Mark Steyn’s entire point that people are indeed “hearing” the shutdown by being kept out of parks, and just move on, because it gets worse. Read more on No, Idiots, For The Last Time You Do Not Get To Use National Parks When They Are Closed…
  don't have a cow

GOP: Barack Obama’s Command Over The Weather Means We Will Pay More For Cedar Cheese And Those Cakes We Like

Remember “Julia,” the main character in an Obama campaign website who goes through her childhood and adolescence suckling off the government teat before becoming a web designer and taking birth control pills? Well, now she is back, courtesy of a GOP Political Action Committee, and her grocery bill is TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. This is because 1) she seems to be buying enough groceries to assemble an entire cow, from scratch and 2) because Obama is in charge of the weather AND the free market and has used his magical weather powers to cause this summer’s drought and the subsequent rise in food prices. But for the purposes of critical analysis, here is her shopping list. We are saddened to report that she is not planning on picking up any cedar cheese. Or those cakes we like. We’ll get over it though, with effort. Read more on GOP: Barack Obama’s Command Over The Weather Means We Will Pay More For Cedar Cheese And Those Cakes We Like…