Wonkette

Nearly a third of Americans don’t know Dick Cheney is vice president, according to a sad new survey by the Pew Research Center. While people can certainly be forgiven for “forgetting” Cheney is actually running the USA, other poll questions revealed that Americans are just getting dumber overall.

For example, 74% could name the governor of their own state in 1989; only 64% hold such precious knowledge today.

After the jump, feel good about yourself for reading Wonkette!

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Radar reports a rumor today that is so poorly sourced, so speculative, and so hilarious that we wish we’d make it up first: Fox News’ Megyn Kendall Kelly is having an affair with Brit Hume. MORE »

While we’re waiting for the Tony Snow press conference to start, you can watch Snow’s former coworker Shepard Smith, despondent over being passed over for the White House gig, wandering, unloved and depressed, to the Hoover Dam, where, in a final humiliation, he… well, just watch:

We’re taking bets now — which 100-year-old dementia sufferer will be less coherent? MORE »

* The ABA likes its lawyers all white and WASPy. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Texas just might lasso the next hurricane camped in the Gulf. [Off the Kuff]
* Cross-multiply, carry the 1 . . . yeah, it’s more like 1.9 million children left behind. [Captain's Quarters]
* Gore in ‘08: Pink Lungs For All. [Crooks and Liars]
* What do we want?! Less skewed and sensational presentation of news events! When do we want it?! Eh, slot it after Nancy Grace. [Eschaton]

We just went to the CNN Pipeline video thing to maybe catch a few minutes of the President’s speech to the Small Business Administration, but, uh, they seemed to have preempted it in favor of this:

Yeah, MilesCam. From Miles O’Brien’s office webcam. We’re assuming Miles O’Brien’s office is in one of CNN’s headquarters, so you might think they’d have, like, real cameras, but that wouldn’t be as plugged in as a webcam. Yes, CNN Pipeline: Catchin’ up with 1996! MORE »

It’s true! It’s all true! Carlson has stopped wearing the bowtie on TV (yet, presumably, still in the bedroom — right, Tucker?).

Wow, now that’s shocking — wait a minute, TUCKER CARLSON IS STILL ON TV?! MORE »

Maybe Chris Matthews has “almost transparent knowledge of your soul.” But can he predict the future, like Wolf Blitzer? MORE »

CNN Pipeline is Free today! You know what CNN Pipeline is, right? It’s live streaming video direct from CNN. Though not actually of CNN. Of other things, that CNN cameras are at. Kind of like C-Span, but not as tightly-edited. This, for example, is currently on Pipe 3:

That screenshot isn’t really lacking anything the live feed offers, except the occasional throat-clearing from an unnamed reporter. We just turned off the sound and cranked some Philip Glass — very thought-provoking. MORE »

We are just going to second TVNewer’s call for screengrabs (or clips, better yet!) of this (quoting Brian Williams): MORE »

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Chris Matthews, yesterday, to Hillary Clinton spokesperson Glover Park Group Consultant (same diff –ed) Howard Wolfson: MORE »

Ladies and Gentlemen, the letter to Kim Eisler from Chris Matthews, in all its glory. But you’re hereby warned: Chris Matthews’ friends are going to laugh at you.

(transcription available after the jump)

Earlier: Chris Matthews’ Friends Are So Not Going To Sit With You At Lunch Anymore

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