Well hats off to Senator Byron Dorgan, who read about the Treasury’s proposed “Humor In The Workplace” presentations for Bureau of the Public Debt employees, called the Department to complain, issued a few grandstanding words about Wasting Taxpayers’ Money, and got the events canceled. Good for you, asshole. Two 3-hour presentations from a fun clown at $15 an hour. You just saved the American taxpayers a whole $90, aimed at bringing some levity to what must be one of the government’s most soul-crushing office environments. You’re a hero, Byron Dorgan. And if money’s the problem, your Wonkette editors will gladly and patriotically lead these presentations for free. Intern Riley is good at drawing and stuff. [The Hill]

This week, Mia Farrow, Mike Arcuri, John Boehner, Byron Dorgan, Marc Racicot, Henry Kissinger, Peter Welch, Charlie Rose, Bill Frist, Don Cheadle, Kal Penn, and Adam Kokesh were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Actual official exchange between senators Ted Kennedy and Byron Dorgan, yesterday:

KENNEDY: “I would like the chicken pluckers to pay $10 or $15 an hour. They do not do it. They are not going to do it. Who are you trying to kid? Who is the Senator from North Dakota trying to fool?” (Sen. Ted Kennedy, Congressional Record, S.6452, 05/22/07)

DORGAN: “Mr. President, let me stand up and say a word on behalf of chicken pluckers. I had no idea that was the debate. But they will never get $15 an hour as long as we bring in cheap labor through the back door to pluck chickens.” (Sen. Dorgan, Congressional Record, S.6452, 05/22/07)

There’s surely something going on here — we suspect it’s about paying people a decent wage for awful jobs like preparing the corpses of chickens for human consumption — but there’s also a pretty good chance they’re both insane. Dorgan, for example, seems to believe he is responding to President Bush and not Teddy Kennedy. (This is the same Byron Dorgan last seen threatening to personally kill all the prairie dogs.) Kennedy has apparently confused the laborers with the companies that sell chicken, and according to ABC News was also “red-faced and gesticulating toward Dorgan” and “continued to howl at Dorgan.” MORE »

Senator Byron Dorgan (D-Caddyshack) wants you to know that he hates prairie dogs. Hates, hates, hates ‘em. Did you know there are more prairie dogs than people in his county?

And did you know the federal government wants more prairie dogs in North Dakota? Or that prairie dogs, while they “essentially look like a rat,” respond to verbal commands by 16-year-old kids?

Learn about Dorgan’s frightening obsession, after the jump.

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* James Carville says of Howard Dean: “I would describe his leadership as Rumsfeldian in its competence.” [Window on Washington]
* Jack Abramoff loved Byron Dorgan and Byron Dorgan loved Jack Abramoff. [Say Anything]
* Fred Thompson should replace John Bolton at the UN. His experience in international diplomacy acquired during The Hunt for Red October and the daring Aces: Iron Eagle III missions will serve him well. [World Wide Standard]
* It happened again: actual White House makes error Bartlet White House made in 2004. [Think Progress]
* Tucker Carlson accuses President Bush of being a lightweight partier, says he can only handle, “like three beers or something.” [Media Matters]
* Somebody paid $2 million to Palestinian militants for the release of kidnapped Fox News reporters. Bill O’Reilly thinks it’s a bargain, as it cost him more than that, “to get that bitch to shut up about the falafel.” [World Net Daily]

Senator “Old Man” Byron Dorgan (D-ND), earlier today. Old people trying to figure out this Sean “Puffy” Combs character: funny. Old people stumbling over Diddy’s name on the Senate floor: sublime. MORE »

Politics is 99% image, the other half is kissing babies. Jim Ramstad knows that and his top-down-screaming-out, “money ain’t a thing” lifestyle is letting you know he’s skipping the 8th step — no apologies. Michael Hayden isn’t apologizing either, he likes the European futbol and doesn’t give a damn if it’s the 4th of July. Mike Piazza’s not running for anything but he knows the voters love the Magnum P.I. style, and Bill Bennett’s not running either, but he probably should start, for his health.

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* Reliable Source: Bush holds public reenactment of Alito’s private swearing in. . . Rep. Jim Moran’s (D-Va.) cell phone rang during the State of the Union. . . Hastert, Specter, Harman had dinner at the Charlie Palmer Steakhouse before the SOTU. . . Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine appears with Sam Donaldson. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Sen. McCain (R-Ariz.) has a cameo in “24″ on Monday night. . . Sens. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.) and Reps. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) and George Miller (D-Calif.) viewed the State of the Union from “undisclosed locations” for security reasons. . . Home of Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) was vandalized with video tape while she was away at Sundance celebrating the release of a film about her life. . . Linda Douglass of ABC News is joining NYU as a senior fellow. . . Rep. John Kline (R-Minn.) has had enough with Democratic opponent Colleen Rowley. [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: Joint Chiefs of Staff complains to the Washington Post about cartoonist Tom Toles‘ depiction of wounded troops. [WT]
* Liz Smith: Bush jokes about seeing “Brokeback Mountain” with Cheney. [NYP]
* Cindy Adams: Web of Jack Abramoff’s influence may only reach the wives and grown children of implicated lawmakers. . . George Pataki makes his fifth trip to Iowa next month. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep are losing faith in Democrats. [NYDN]

• Source of NYT story on NSA eavesdropping steps forward and says spying is widespread: “We need to clean up the intelligence community. We’ve had abuses, and they need to be addressed.” [ABC News]
• Abramoff scandal probe centers on Sens. Conrad Burns (R-Mont.), Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.), Harry Reid, (D-Nev.) and Reps. J.D. Hayworth (R-Ariz.) and Bob Ney (R-Ohio), sources say. [WT]
• NSA begins internal investigation into eavesdropping; probe will not determine legality of program. [WP, NYT]
• Bush attacks Democrats “who claim that we acted in Iraq because of oil, or because of Israel, or because we misled the American people.” [NYT, USAT]
• Reps. John Boehner and Roy Blunt are both tied closely to lobbyists; Boehner is criticized for last month’s vote on immigration bill. [NYT, WT]
• Howard Dean sees Abramoff scandal as a “Republican finance scandal.” [WT]
• House Republicans may ban travel paid by lobbyists. [NYT, WSJ]
• Approval of Bush rests at 46%; support of eavesdropping is divided along partisan lines. [WP]

• Pentagon commits $300m to “psychological warfare operation” that “includes plans for placing pro-American messages in foreign media outlets without disclosing the U.S. government as the source”; bumper stickers and t-shirts are also being considered. [USAT, USAT]
• Army approves new, classified rules for interrogation. Official: “This is a stick in McCain’s eye. It goes right up to the edge. He’s not going to be comfortable with this.” [NYT]
• Pentagon is reportedly monitoring the activities of “peaceful anti-war and counter-military recruitment groups.” [NBC, Reuters]
• Administration is debating the need for new nuclear warheads; “the U.S. could someday spend billions of dollars replacing much of the current arsenal.” [WSJ]
• Democrats press for subpoenas of White House officials regarding government response to Katrina. [WP]
• Texas prosecutors are investigating possible ties between Rep. Tom DeLay and lobbyist Brent Wilkes, who was linked to former Rep. Randy Cunningham. [NYT]
• House nears passage of tough border security bill. [NYT]
• U.S. Chamber of Commerce splits with Republican leadership over immigration bill. [WP]

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• McCain intends to remain steadfast with his effort to ban torture of detainees. [WP]
• Condoleezza Rice, visiting Europe, “plans to come out swinging” on the issue of secret prisons, “shifting the focus back to the responsibilities of Europe