Another loser official from the Bush Administration is stepping down to spend time with the family, but there’s something especially funny about the departure of Emilio Gonzalez from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services agency — because Gonzalez wrote a big whiny blog post (on the Department of Homeland Security blog, of course) about how the New York Times called him a loser! And then about a million people with varying degrees of English-as-a-Second-Language proficiency left hilarious comments! MORE »

• “We’ve got to hand it to WMATA for coming up with plenty of fun, low-budget ways (in some cases, extremely low-budget) to encourage Nationals fans to take Metro to the new ballpark.” [DCist] MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: “Rodney Alexander is the Forrest Gump of scandal”… The Mayflower Hotel has seen a boom in business lately… Some members of Congress are more handicapped than others… Rep. J.D. Hayworth may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least he’s got an aerospace engineering laboratory named after him. [Roll Call]

• Reliable Source: Celebrity endorsements… Bill Richardson trims his losing beard. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Tommy Ridge discovers that his dad’s too famous for his Facebook to be public… Kwame Brown mixes his metaphors… First Twin Barbara Bush has a new “unidentified male companion.” [Examiner]
• Page Six: McCain to get his own big, fancy fundraiser… Ashley Alexandra Dupre is making things seem a whole lot less exclusive. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Passport scandals new and old… Willie Nelson is looking to stay out of trouble by playing at the Democratic National Convention… Gore Vidal isn’t letting up on William F. Buckley Jr. just cause he’s dead. [NYDN]
• Washington Whispers: Republicans are floating the name Michael Steele… Bob Schieffer doesn’t want to retire just yet… Hillary camp can’t figure out how to add it up. [USN&WR]
  

• Reliable Source: Is this how we treat celebrities in D.C.?… WMATA has just enough money for six boxes of Peeps. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Eli Manning wants to pump you up… Not everyone can be Al Gore, Tom Daschle… New cooking show is looking for couples of cooks… Very important people sit in the suites. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Bill Clinton is somewhere between a “Buttinsky” and a “Bitter Queen.” [Politico]
• The Sleuth:GLBT community is not too happy with Howard Dean. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Presidential candidates make NCAA picks. [NYDN]

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• “Seriously? You’re aiming to squeak into the playoffs and you want me to commit a non-refundable up-front purchase of seats for all four rounds?” [Metroblogging DC]
• “Winard Harper is a local boy done good, and it’s always a pleasure to see musicians come back to perform to a hometown crowd. The 46-year-old drummer will be doing just that as he leads his wonderful sextet through two sets tomorrow night at the Kennedy Center.” [DCist]

MORE »

• Reliable Source: Laurie David makes people just as uncomfortable as Larry David… George Mason mascot Gunston might not be around for much longer… Ben’s Chili Bowl gets some Play… Laura and Jenna Bush check out “Butterflies + Plants.” [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Michael Bloomberg’s A-list celebs to attract a teenaged crowd… Chelsea Clinton is just as good a daughter as Meghan McCain. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: David Vitter insists he’s nothing like Eliot Spitzer. For example, he’s much cheaper. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Tom Foley is too old for his Corvette… Is Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz a Debbie Dubya? [WP]
• Page Six: Moonlight Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof adds Hillary to his roster of girls. [NYP]

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MORE »

• Reliable Source: Eliot Spitzer memorabilia isn’t selling so well on eBay. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Jenna Bush follows up on Ana’s Story. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Rapper DMX does not believe that Barack Obama is a real person… “Obama Miracle Toast”… Free beer for congressmen deemed unethical. [Politico]
• Page Six: When times get rough, Lloyd Constantine goes to the press… Bill Clinton goes gaga over George Clooney. [NYP]

• “At stake is much more than the District’s gun laws. While the city’s restrictions on the ownership of handguns is the example that provoked the lawsuit that pushed the issue through the American legal system, the Supreme Court will focus its sights on a larger question — does the U.S. Constitution guarantee a collective or individual right to own a gun?” [DCist] MORE »

• Reliable Source: Chauffeur caught in the middle of the McGreeveys…Meghan McCain isn’t interested in investment bankers. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: New York has a new tourist hot spot…John McCain tried to turn off Mitt Romney…Bush and Pelosi are doing nothing to please the Irish. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Chuck Hagel doesn’t have the most accurate blurb…Congress on spring break…Rep. Earl Blumenauer helps out staffers by giving them bikes. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Hillary Clinton has a fan in Elton John. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Ashley Alexandra Dupre enjoys the finer things. [NYDN]