• Heard on the Hill: New ethics laws aren’t always that ethical… John Legend is happy being a musician… Poor, gullible Rep. Rob Wittman. [Roll Call]

• Reliable Source: Montgomery Blair High School reporters get the best scoop in town… 50 Cent is a flip-flopper. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Proof that Karl Rove really does find this whole thing funny… Charlie Rose to set up shop in D.C. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: April Fool’s day obits aren’t all that funny. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary weighs in on Hillary and Obama… Alphonso Jackson’s $100,000 portraits find homes in the HUD basement. [WP]

• Heard on the Hill: The Twin Cities are staying up past their bedtime for the Republican Convention…Chris Bell still doesn’t like Barack Obama…The Rolling Stones satisfy both sides of the aisle. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Hillary Clinton is heavily quoted in former classmate Steve Goodman’s bio…D.C. lose one Jack Quinn, keeps the other. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Green Party candidate Cynthia McKinney needs to watch her sound bites…If President Bush attended your dinner, he’s taking the credit…Every Senator wants to be the first. [Examiner]
• In the Know: Congressmen go to jail, but stay on the other side of the bars…It looks like the end of The 2nd Amendments…For the record, Nancy Pelosi did receive a birthday cake…The Capitol’s security beefs up to prevent falling tourists. [The Hill]
• Shenanigans: John Boehner punks us all for April Fool’s Day…Chris Shays would never leave Babs…Bill Press endorses Ralph Nader, turns around and laughs…More VP talk…Former press secretary to Rep. Rick Renzi Melissa Middleswoth doesn’t let a scandal stop her from moving on up. [Politico]
  

• Heard on the Hill: Members of Congress encouraged to Twitter their hearts out… New alarm clock takes the fun out of snoozing… Jessica Cutler is back in the news, still slutty. [Roll Call]

• Yeas and Nays: Catch Nancy Pelosi at George’s… Jay Leno plays the Leukemia Ball… For a tough guy, Russell Crowe sure does like cupcakes… Paul Wolfowitz goes no carbs. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Tom Cole’s got some beef with John Boehner. [Politico]
• Page Six: Roll over Eliot Spitzer, there’s a new “Client 9″ in town. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Rudy Giuliani does battle with a sidewalk, comes out worse for the wear. [NYDN]

This week, George Will is sure going to be bummed when Borders shuts down for good, and one of you recognized a fireman or something. You people are not really being very good spies and operatives, are you? We realize nobody cares about anything but Barack Obama these days and all the famous-for-D.C. people are either recuperating at home or out on somebody’s campaign trail, but Jesus Christ, how about a few sightings? MORE »

• Reliable Source: Chelsea Clinton gets personal… No one is going to be “pimped out” on MSNBC… Enjoy Bill Richardson’s beard while it lasts. [WP]

• Yeas and Nays:Adrian Fenty at bat… Newt Gingrich just wants some solutions. [Examiner]
• Page Six: Ashley Dupre used to be a different kind of rent girl… Mike Bloomberg is now eligible for all senior discounts… Nancy Reagan and John McCain’s icy past… The Eliot Spitzer jokes never stop. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy:Bill and Hill get some satisfaction out of being in the new Rolling Stones film. [NYDN]

If it means destroying the Democratic Party and letting John McCain blow up the entire universe, then that’s what Wonkette’s loyal, steadfast advertisers will do, because they understand destiny: MORE »

• “In the past 3 seasons, the Nationals have exceeded expectations, which was mostly a function of having very low expectations. After disappointing everyone last year by not having a historically bad season, expectations are higher this year.” [DCist] MORE »

• Reliable Source: Say goodbye to James Carville and Mary Matalin –they’re heading to New Orleans… Jon Stewart is doing good deeds on the down low. [WP]

• Yeas and Nays: Lynda Carter is a serious sculler… John King and Dana Bash are getting married in the country… You can catch a glimpse at Russell Crowe biking around town… James Bond’s doctor is most likely a staff member at George Washington University Medical Center. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: VoterVoter exploits loophole by supporting amateur filmmakers… The Spitzer scandal is about to get more scandalous. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Adam Clymer is finally getting some Republican love. [WP]
• Page Six: Could Ashley Alexandra Dupre make it on to primetime NBC? [NYP]

• Reliable Source: Barack Obama goes on vacay… Kevin Bacon takes any remaining church out of your state. [WP]

• Yeas and Nays:The White House Correspondents Association Dinner’s guest list is shaping up to be a B-list event. [Examiner]
• In the Know: Rep. Bill Foster gets a room with a view… Jeopardy! players need to work on current events… Add Kitty Dukakis to the list of Obamamaniacs… Rep. Bobby Rush is still recovering. [The Hill]
• Shenanigans: John McCain 8-ball has all the answers… Charlie Crist has a new girlfriend. [Ha ha ha. -- Ed.] [Politico]

• “For our purposes, the definition of hip-hop will be broader than it’s typically constructed, and will include R&B, soul, certain electronic, or whatever else deemed appropriate by the author.” [DCist] MORE »

• Reliable Source: Gilbert Arenas is sick and tired of blazers… Don’t be fooled by State of Play props… Katie Couric and daughter investigate the Cavalier Daily… Fred Thompson is ready to be in the spotlight again. [WP]

• Yeas and Nays: Cindy McCain is a big fan of El DeBarge. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Finally, someone has made politics sexy… Veep talk… The Easter bunny speaks. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Obama camp really wants you to know the truth about Bosnia. [WP]
• Page Six: Jeremiah Wright spends Easter in sunny Puerto Rico. [NYP]