Tag: butthurt

Facebook Totally Censoring Conservative News Outlets, Just Because They Are Full Of Lies :(

No, Facebook isn't 'censoring' conservative news outlets. They just want everyone's money is all!
So angry they could just... Oh, Christ, that's only supposed to be a metaphor!

All Of America Boycotting Sam’s Club For Hating White Men, Says Stupid White Man

What are precious easily-offended white people freaking out about this week? No, it's not Black Santa, or even the Star Wars on white people. It's that all-American tribute to wretched excess, Sam's Club (Motto: "Like Costco but we don't...
First they came for the inbred hicks, and I giggled

Sad White Couple So Sad Black Town Doesn’t Appreciate Confederate Flag Parade

In today's episode of "What About MY Civil Rights, Bro?" we bring you the tale of sad Confederate-flag waver and butthurt neckbeard Chris Oliver and his wife Angela, who were taking part in a "Confederate flag run" through the...
May also have mentioned The War

Teacher Fired For Saying ‘Sandy Hook’ During Safety Drill Inspired By Sandy Hook

So here's an important lesson for teachers everywhere: You need to prepare children for emergencies, but never ever tell them why, because it might upset a parent. GiGi Kearns, a supervisor of after-school programs for a private contractor in...
Behind door number three is this bitch named Yvette, who isn't allowed at this gym anymore.

Butthurt Michigan Woman Sues Planet Fitness For Being Nice To Transgenders

Some weeks back, we had a Nice Time, about a Michigan lady, Yvette Cormier, who was bitching and moaning about the fact that her local Planet Fitness allows transgender people to use bathrooms and locker rooms that correspond to...
It starts with glitter...but escalates to streamers and balloons

Anti-Abortion Group Vows To Rebuild After Tragic Glitter Bombing

As if you needed any further proof that there are extremists on both side of the abortion issue, consider the recent heinous attack launched on the anti-abortion website "LifeNews," which was hit last week with a full-scale assault of...
no, YOU take it back!

Gamergate ‘Documentary’ Derailed By Sad, We Mean ‘Hilarious,’ Men’s Rights Slapfight

"Gamergate" is basically about telling stupid women they need to shut up and stop trying to ruin videogaming culture by being feminists. It's featured a parade of horribles, like death and rape threats and really tragic crimes against logic....
12. Years. Old.

New Video Shows Cops Compassionately Cuffing Tamir Rice’s Sister While He Was Dying

Let us catch you up on the latest twist in the Tamir Rice story, because who can keep all these killings of unarmed black people straight anyway? Tamir Rice was 12 when he was shot dead by Cleveland police officer...
He smiled, KNOWINGLY. Inpeach!!!

Motorcade For Imperial High Snotnose Obama Arrogantly Delays Pregnant Lady, INPEACH!

The Imperial President King of the Formerly United States, Barack Hussein Marie Antoinette Louis XVI Obama, arrogantly forced a pregnant woman to wait to cross the street to a hospital while his motorcade passed in Los Angeles Wednesday. Needless...

Texas ‘Open Carry’ Morons Stand Their Ground Against Sissypants Liberals At The NRA

Yesterday we brought you the story of the NRA's suggestion that Open Carry Texas might want to tone it down a bit. The merry bands of gun fondlers who have done so much to endear themselves to Texas fast-food...

Beetle-Browed Whine Machine Ben Shapiro Pretty Sure Stephen Colbert Is Al Jolson

America, feculent dastardling Ben Shapiro is offended. He is very offended. His dudgeon is, in fact, quite high indeed. You see, he realized something yesterday in all the fuss over the announcement that Stephen Colbert would replace David Letterman...

Thought Catalog MRA Dude So Sad Ladies Keep Getting Their Privilege All Over Him

What time is it? It's time for us to check in with Thought Catalog, the endless river of unfiltered derp. It's like Reddit meets Buzzfeed over there, and we can always find something ridiculous. Today, let's check out super...

Intelligent Design Proponents Still So Mad At ‘Cosmos,’ Still So Happy They Can Be Mad At ‘Cosmos’

Perhaps because they got so mercilessly mocked last week, this week the evolution-denying viewers of "Cosmos" decided to take a different route than the LEAVE JESUS ALONE road they'd previously traveled. Instead, this week, we get so many much...

Hero College Student Will Not Stand For College Textbook’s Mean Ronald Reagan Lies

Just in case you missed it, we have yet another tale of Liberal Extremism in Our TAXPAYER-SUPPORTED Universities. The most recent butthurt concerns the outrageous, unthinkable claim in a social work textbook that -- hope you're sitting down, folks...

Peggy Noonan Plays A Clever Rhetorical Trick! Watch Carefully And See If You Can Catch It!

You guys! Peggy Noonan wrote a very, very persuasive column that plays a funny "trick" on the reader! See if you can guess where she is heading with this! Just guess! It is astonishing and cannot go unremarked that Mississippi’s...