Wonkette

• Yippee kayay, motherfucker. [Express]
• “We have to give captive-bred pandas better survival training, especially combat and defence skills.” [Poofygoo]
• Perhaps this glowing DCist review means the bullets have stopped flying at Temperance Hall. [DCist]
• ” I don’t know how many baby boomers read this (Hi Dad!), but, man, you guys are old.” [why.i.hate.dc]
• Today is National Doughnut Day. Get some. [Last Second Thoughts]
• Summer gunfire is here! “These incidents and many more, have been increasing at an alarming rate. The police (whom we call every time there’s an incident) have been blaming the nice weather for the increased activity in the streets and gentrification for the loss of drug-dealing territories.” [007 in Africa]
• Hilarious driving-in-DC graphs: “HONK HONK! YOU PUSSY!” [Quiet in the Stacks]
• “Guy in Wisconsin shirt, while I was getting home from work, you were stopped in your bike ride trying to put the small fire out in my front yard. You even jumped over the fence! My friend and I would love to take you for a drink, but even if not, you’re our hero. Thanks again!” {Missed Connections]

She once fired an aide for — among other issues — leaving a box of candy on her chair, said a source. Her No. 1 rule, the ex-aides say, is that aides can never walk in front of her.

• “Late last week, one of the bartenders from the Argonaut was shot in the head and critically wounded on his way home from work. The Argonaut is hosting a benefit for Quike (pronounced Key-K) on Friday October 13, 7pm-late at the Argonaut, located at 1433 H St NE. There will be a silent auction and a DJ.” [The Going Out Gurus]
• GET READY FOR THE PANDA MOTORCADE. If you are very good and wander around DC all weekend, a man dressed as Butterstick may bring you down the Asia Trail and then give you a quarter. [National Zoo]
• Howard Homecoming party at Felix. Free before 11PM with RSVP. Free food before 10PM. Possible free drinks. Dress nicely. [Upcoming]
• 1973’s The Day the Music Died at the LOC. If you thought Woodstock 1999 was a laugh riot, you’ll love this. Performances by Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, Country Joe & The Fish, Jim Morrison, Van Morrison, Mountain, Dionne Warwick, Steppenwolf, Jan and Dean, Otis Redding, etc. Free at 7PM. [LOC]

• HerbDay! at the beautiful US Botanic Gardens. Learn how to promote the diversity and potency of your home cannabis strains. HerbDay! Festival]
• Bob Mould DJ’s shirtless at the 9:30 Club. $12 at 11:30PM. [9:30 Club]
• AFI is showing new films from France through the 22nd. Saturday features beaucoup de choix: Riviera, The Case of the Grinning Cat, In Paris, Comedy of Power and Le Petit Lieutenant. Vous tes autoris pour fumer des cigarettes dans le th tre. [AFI]
• Andrew Soul-livan at Politics & Prose talking about The Conservative Soul. We suggest visiting HerbDay! beforehand as Mr. Sullivan’s talk involves the Bible. [P&P]

• 39th Annual Dupont Circle House Tour. It’s a self-guided tour of 12 homes, and then a Victorian tea party at the Washington Club. $30 from 12PM- 5PM. [Dupont Circle Citizens Association]
• Telograph, Black Tie Revue and Velvet at the Black Cat. $8 at 9PM to benefit the DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence. [Black Cat]