Tag: Butterstick

Photo courtesy Hundred Acre Wood P.D.

Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda

Sometimes you just need to get out the ol' rainbow-puking gnome, and today is one of those days, because today, Tuesday, December Second, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Fourteen, we learned that an 18-year-old woman was...

HuffPo’s DCeiver, Jason Linkins, Vaguely Recalls Writing About This ‘Butterstick’ Fellow At Your Wonkette

Oh, hi, good people of Wonkette. My name is Jason, and when Rebecca reached out to me to tell me that today is the 10th Anniversary of Wonkette, "and some old editors are writing posts about their time there...

China Forces U.S. Butterstick Fans To Clean Panda Poop

As China's economy barrels along and Washington is helpless to do anything beyond passing toothless House legislation wishing China "would not be so rich and powerful," perhaps no story better illustrates the rapid and shameful decline of our nation...

Erick Erickson Wishes Republican Party Would Feed Him More Butter

Boo! Why did the Republican Party have to come out this morning with a list of "policies" and "beliefs"? That's no fun. The only policy they need is "the economy sucks and your president doesn't look like you," but...

Vote To Name National Zoo’s Dumb Octopus ‘Cthulhu’

Ever since the Red Chinese took their panda back to Communist China, Washington's National Zoo has been a pretty beat-down no-panda-havin' sort of place. Kids don't want to go there, not even to get out of school for the...

Forgotten Butterstick Released From Chinese Prison

What has become of Washington's beloved comedy animal, Butterstick the Panda Bear? If this tragic BBC News photo is to be trusted, the once-adored animal is now a beaten, sad-faced monster finally let out of its horror jail after...

China Tired of Loaning Us Everything, Seizes Butterstick From Washington Zoo

Beloved black-and-white poopbag "Butterstick" has finally been seized by our Chinese overlords and flown back to Red China, where the sad worn-out creature will be brutally interrogated for his contacts with the Dalai Lama. And then, magically, the famous...

Farewell, Butterstick: Unwanted Panda Being Shipped To China

Good lord, has it really been five years since famous baby panda "Butterstick" -- which means Tai Shan in Chinese -- was born in the Washington zoo? Yes it has, even though it feels like at least 50 years...

Asses: Another Installment In an Irregular Series

By the Comics CurmudgeonAs your Comics Curmudgeon demonstrated earlier this year, political cartoonists love butts. Just love ’em! The ass is the most polysemous of images, representing everything from sex appeal to debasement and humiliation to an...

Butterstick Takes It Up The Hindquarters For Science

The life of Butterstick the National Zoo panda follows an all-too-common trajectory: we've seen him grow from adorable infant to teenage crack-whore to compulsive leg-humper and now, to a middle-aged adult with irritable bowels. Butterstick had to get a colonoscopy...

CPAC Panda Furries Are GOP’s Future

Our CPAC correspondent from Boston, Garrett Quinn, sends this terrifying photograph of a CPAC sex worker known as "Bailout Panda." When will the police crush this degenerate animal-orgy event?

THAT'S NOT CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN: "'Because competent mating did not occur,' the zoo statement said, veterinarians anesthetized both pandas on Saturday, collected semen from Tian Tian and inserted it into Mei Xiang's uterus."

Cute Symbol of Global Warming Now Up For Sale

Gas will soon cost less than a buck a gallon, as nobody has a dollar, and nobody has a job to drive to anyway. Even Wal-Marts are closing down. And now Knut the cute polar bear, who was photographed...

Ralph Nader Talks Sadly To Bird, Contemplates Wearing Bear Suit

America's happiest moment in eight years was when that dude in a bear suit comically walked down the beach while that local-teevee reporter described some invisible pier, during Hurricane Ike. Poor old Ralph Nader wonders aloud, to his running...