Tag Archives: business insider

  trash

Guy Running For Illinois Gov Cheated On First Wife 20 Years Ago, And Business Insider Is ON IT.

Where were you when you heard the news that some guy running for Illinois governor cheated on his first wife 20 years ago? Was it right now, because who the fuck cares, Jesus Christ? Nobody seems to have picked up on Hunter Walker’s May 5 Business Insider SCOOPTYSCOOP that some guy running for Illinois governor cheated on his first wife 20 years ago, because who the fuck cares, until yesterday, when NBC decided this was a worthwhile thing to spend its pixels on. Read more on Guy Running For Illinois Gov Cheated On First Wife 20 Years Ago, And Business Insider Is ON IT….
  the future is now

Business Insider Finds Your Futurist Sci-Fi Tech Dreams Hilarious, You Silly American People

Business Insider has breaking news: Americans believe crazy shit about science. Just think of the 18% of  people who believe The Flintstones was loosely based on a true story. The National Science Foundation must have wept when they realized their funding was regulated by people who couldn’t a pass sixth grade science class. This new Pew Study on American perceptions of the future of science and technology could have provided a beacon of hope, a reason to keep believing, proof that the American public is aware of how hard science has been rocking it out lately. Instead, Business Insider insinuates that it is further proof of our collective insanity. But the examples Business Insider talks about aren’t actually that crazy. Unless you’re using “crazy” to modify “crazy awesome.” Read more on Business Insider Finds Your Futurist Sci-Fi Tech Dreams Hilarious, You Silly American People…
  first they came for the brogrammers

Free Speech For Tech Dudes Is Dead In America Because You People Can’t Take A Joke

So there has been a much-needed spate of thinkpieces of late about why there are so few women in tech. Consensus: because tech dudes are often sexist bags of brogrammer skin and maybe kinda ladies don’t want to hang out/be bossed around by those dudes. Smart take! (Is this about all dudes in tech? No. Should you write us and explain how you are not this sort of dude? No.) So last night, Valleywag tipped the world off to the Twitter feed of one Pax Dickinson, Chief Technology Officer for Business Insider, a not-at-all-small website. Pax thought it would be good to share his deep thoughts about ladies and black people and rape and was surprised when people yelled at him and he got hisself fired or resigned or whatever. Read more on Free Speech For Tech Dudes Is Dead In America Because You People Can’t Take A Joke…
  communists under the bed

Commies at ‘Business Insider’ Just Cold Destroying Capitalism Now

How wonderful, the last time we checked in with Business Insider they were running articles on how you are not a winner if you want to see your wife and kids every so often, but now they are run by a bona fide Commie! Yes! A Commie! The Commie, one Henry Blodget, is complaining about late capitalism and all of its foundational premises: specifically, that businesses have a legal obligation to maximize shareholder value at the expense of, oh, worker quality of life, community well being, and basically the entire economy: One of the big reasons the U.S. economy is so lousy is that big American companies are hoarding cash and “maximizing profits” instead of investing in their people and future projects. This behavior is contributing to record income inequality in the country and starving the primary engine of U.S. economic growth — the vast American middle class — of purchasing power. Ha ha ha, we no longer have a middle class, so the joke is on you! Read more on Commies at ‘Business Insider’ Just Cold Destroying Capitalism Now…
  coffee is for closers

Playing With Your Children Is For Losers, Says Business Insider

Nothing says “winning” like abandoning your loved ones to make money for your corporate overlords, amiright guys? I mean, is the guy in the $6,000 suit going to have a “work-life balance”? COME ON. He is not, because he is a WINNER, because as Business Insider kindly explains at us, work-life balance is for LOSERS (or at least, it’s for people who are not WINNERS). So if you want to make it to the top, you will man up and work 70 hours a week and if you are a winner, you will LIKE it. From the good people at Business Insider, who have magnanimously brought us an article called “Real Winners Don’t Have Work-Life Balance”: Read more on Playing With Your Children Is For Losers, Says Business Insider…
  republicans for the win!

Pew Poll Demonstrates That Americans, Republicans, Not *That* Stupid

Hey-O, who has two thumbs and isn’t as stupid as you might have been led to believe? Oh, just 62% of Americans and 35% of Republicans, who think that the Republican party has become “too extreme.” For the record, we at Wonkette think that this is SILLY. Why on Earth would anyone find this “too extreme”? Or this? Or this? The answer here, clearly, is not to change the direction of the Republican party, but rather to take a hard look at messaging, and have Marco Rubio explain at Hispanics. That’s all, no need to change the ideas themselves; just the way the ideas sound when they come out of people’s mouths. Read more on Pew Poll Demonstrates That Americans, Republicans, Not *That* Stupid…
  let them eat gold and glenn beck

Glenn Beck Going To Be So Sad, You Guys

We come bearing devastating news. Actually two pieces of news, one devastating and one not-as-devastating. The first piece of news is that the Golden Era is over. As in, the price of gold cannot be expected to continue rising as it has been. Does this mean that we will stop being inundated with commercials with the blond guy (who you may remember from the “them apples” exchange in Good Will Hunting) trying to convince us to buy gold? Will Glenn Beck be advocating a return to food hoarding? Are we to expect Ron Paul to actually start buying some gold, now that gold prices are going to embark on a steady decline? Read more on Glenn Beck Going To Be So Sad, You Guys…
  ron paul revolution or something

Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector

Good news, everyone! Romney/Ryan have no specific plans to ruin the housing sector at this point, which is probably a good thing, given that Mitt Romney has been pretty clear about his interest in ruining education and Paul Ryan has a very specific plan to ruin Medicare and Medicaid. So let’s just all respectfully disagree with Business Insider, which thinks it’s a Bad Thing that the campaign’s white paper on housing policy is basically just a collection of vague platitudes about “too big to fail” and “common sense reform” and blah blah etc, with one little part about how much EASIER it will be for banks to foreclose on you. Read more on Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector…