business
Jerry Brown Toilet-Talks Rick Perry: Your Anti-Cali Ad Is ‘Barely A Fart’
Rick Perry’s got a plan, y’all! An eeeevil plan, based on stealing all the businesses out of California and bringing them to Texas — because hell, you can do whatever you want in Texas! (Except have decent textbooks.) Rick is obviously aiming to be the Mexico-adjacent-Mexico inside the US for all of businesses everywhere — [...]
Mitt Romney: Why Can’t Amercia Be More Like China?
Oh goody, more incriminating audio from a Mitt Romney fundraiser. This one is from a fundraiser he and his wife attended at the Irvine, California, home of David Horowitz (a different David Horowitz) back in March, and although Mittens didn’t insult half of the nation, he DID say that Obama considers businesspeople “a necessary evil” [...]
Mitt Romney Talks Down At You For A Bit Today
Mitt Romney has taken to the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal to share with you a children’s story about How Mitt Romney Saved Capitalism. This is in preparation for the upcoming sequel, Mitt Romney Saves Everything In The World And Paul Ryan Is Here, Too. The back-to-school season is here, and as parents [...]
Mitt Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned from Firing People
I like to learn a fun fact every day, and today I learned TWO fun facts! One is that people still actually read Time, and two is that Romneybot 6000 doesn’t have a scripted response to questions about what he learned from Bain or how Bain in any way qualifies him to be the president [...]
Mitt Romney Assures Businessman That He’ll Be Lucky Enough To Fail One Day
Oh, how the businessmen rib each other! The businessmen in this case being Mitt Romney, whose “business” career was mostly as a hand-shaking middle man who was always insulated from taking the downside on a financial venture that went to hell, and some fellow with whom he was chit-chatting at an event yesterday. My how [...]
Bain Capital Victim Prefers Despicable Obama Over Disgusting Romney
Glen Patrick Wells is a former steel worker from Peculiar, Missouri who was laid off as the result of Bain Capital’s restructuring of his former place of work, GS Technologies. Wells is so infuriated by the work of “predatory capitalist” Romney that he says he will now support MoveOn’s efforts to make Bain Capital Romney’s [...]
Dunkin’ Donuts Stock Goes Nuts As WalMart Sad Lady Sex Cream Fails
We’ve been keeping an eye on the Economic Newz, because sometimes you can “tell things” from the business reports that the political scumsacks won’t admit until it’s already common knowledge (“Unemployment continues to be a challenge,” etc.), and so far it looks like investors are all “Meh” on the debt ceiling/American Default stuff because the [...]
Glenn Beck TV Is Just Video Of Him Doing His Radio Show
Professional whiner nutcase Glenn Beck announced that he will charge a monthly five-dollar subscription fee for viewers to log in to his latest online vanity project, GBTV.com. Does anyone even have five dollars anymore? Maybe some quarters in the couch cushions. What will a Glenn Beck fan get in exchange for putting off the trip [...]
Canada Urging HuffPo Bloggers To Revolt, Like In Egypt
There is literally nothing more important on Earth than America Online’s purchase of Arianna Huffington’s celebriporn blog. Nothing. This is why Canadian agents provocateurs are leaving comments on the NYT calling for insurrection. Insurrection! This particular Canadian (we hide his assumed name to protect ourselves from the tanks of oppression) wants HuffPo bloggers to quit [...]
Federal Government Is Never Going To Regulate Anything Ever Again Because John Boehner Says So
John Boehner had a meeting with a bunch of business lobbyists today, and after coming out of it, he immediately told the world “his” great idea to enact a moratorium on new federal regulations for a year. (You are supposed to wait until Monday so these things seem like new policy ideas, not something the [...]
Rumors On The Internets: How to Feel Alive When You’re Not Running a War
‘Journal’ Betrays Its Deeply-Held Principles, Gives Shit Away For Free
CrackBerry Babies Cry
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