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Posts Tagged ‘bush twins’

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Jenna Bush’s Texas-Trash Wedding Splendor

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

T for TexasIt’s all happening! Jenna is really getting married to that one guy, Henry! They will live in Baltimore! But to really make “living in Baltimore” seem romantic, they will exchange vows at Jenna’s mom and dad’s retirement home in Waco, Texas. All the incredible details of the May 10 nuptials are suddenly coming to light. MORE »


FUNNY PICTURES

Popemania: George & Laura & Jenna Bush Say Hi To Pope!

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Sinead O'Connor must be rolling in her grave right now ...
The leader of America’s religion, Christianity, finally arrived in America today! The president and his wife and their daughter, Jenna, rushed down to the airport to say howdy. The pope held Jenna’s hand and cackled, in German, “You’re very pretty, for a girl.” MORE »


JENNA BUSH

Jenna Reflects on a Life Cut Short by Arranged Marriage

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Speak out, Jenna - WonketteThis week’s People has the (invented and sanitized) details of Mr. Henry Hager’s forced proposal to his bride-to-be Jenna Bush. It happened, supposedly, at Acadia National Park (as Laura revealed last month), on top of Cadillac Mountain. Hank, who had awoken his (probably hungover) ladyfriend before the sun even rose, “suggested stopping for an energy bar” (sick, just sick). And then, knowing that he had her drowsy and distracted from lack of sleep and high altitude, he popped the question as cursed dawn began to break. Jenna has been allowed to reveal some small part of her disgust with the whole affair: “‘I acted the complete opposite of how I thought I would: I was quiet. He said, ‘Are you exited?’ I was like, ‘I don’t know!’” She realized, of course, that she had little choice in the matter, and presumably acquiesced soon thereafter. We begin to sympathize with this poor little rich girl, who wanted nothing more than to live the happy life of drug-fueled privilege that so many of her contemporaries had, without the burden of eventually being enlisted in the Bush family’s ongoing effort to control the Earth. People gives more tragic details of her tragic young life: MORE »


JENNA BUSH

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

“Nixon received a lot of goodwill because of Tricia’s wedding. I’ve said before that President Bush’s best chance to come out of his term well is if they capture Osama bin Laden and one of the twins gets married.” [IndyStar]


JENNA BUSH

Bad Year for a White House Wedding

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Will Jenna Bush’s shotgun wedding to dead-eyed former Rove staffer and Bush clan-approved groom Henry “Hank” Hager “the Horrible” take place at the White House? The New York Times pondered this incredibly important question yesterday, pointing out that the last time there was a White House wedding, 36 years ago, the father of the bride was a corrupt old bastard, the nation was in locked into an unwinnable war, and everyone involved eventually resigned in disgrace. Of course, that was still Dick’s first term, so it’s probably too late to hope for that sort of thing to happen again. MORE »


FUNNY PICTURES

How Pregnant Is Jenna Bush?

Thursday, August 16th, 2007

It’s time to go over the photographic forensic evidence and see if we can settle the burning question of the summer: Is Jenna pregnant or just really fat? MORE »


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Jenna Bush To Marry Rich White Rove Staffer

Thursday, August 16th, 2007

Jenna was a bit cuter 2-1/2 years ago, wasn't she? - WonketteStock markets shot back to 14,000 and the Iraqi resistance surrendered today on news that America’s Sweetheart, Jenna Bush, is marrying that guy she used to date before she split for South America. Henry Hager is the son of former Virginia lieutenant governor and state GOP chief and tobacco exec John H. Hager. Even better, young Henry worked directly for Karl Rove in the White House, so there’s a good chance Jenna’s new husband will be forced to testify at her dad’s war-crimes trial.

Bush’s daughter, Jenna, to be married [AP/Yahoo]


FUNNY PICTURES

Weekend At Bushies

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

Usually they make the Devil sign ... - Wonkette
Oh how cute, the War Family makes little peace signs at the photographers. What other kind of douchebag behavior did our Royal Family partake in this weekend with Russian buddy Vlad the Putin?

MORE »


FUNNY PICTURES

Jenna and Barbara Teach Elmo a Smoking Game and a Drinking Game

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

And then they got him high and fucked him in the bathroom, the end.

More hot Bush Twins-on-Elmo pix, after the jump.

MORE »


CHELSEA CLINTON

Chelsea Clinton’s So Smart & Boring

Monday, May 14th, 2007

'It's nice to be on the receiving end of one' - WonketteHere’s an insider’s secret for staying “out of the spotlight” even when your parents are internationally known and highly-polarizing political figures who have already been president once and may well rule again, due to their name being either Bush or Clinton: Act like a professional adult by avoiding opportunities to appear drunk or doped up in front of the paparazzi. MORE »


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Happy South American Wedding Engagement, Jenna!

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

Guess who’s maybe getting engaged to Karl Rove’s former intern? The great Holocaust author Jenna Bush, that’s who! MORE »